i want my baby back.

[Violetmonster]

a month or so back i had an abortion.
i mean, it was the right thing to do.
my boyfriend was certain he didn't want to be a dad, and for the first week wouldn't even admit it was his, he was saying he was 'infertile' so i'd obvoiusly been cheating.
ofc, i hadn't been near another boy, and hes finaly seen sense, and has admitted that maybe he should get tested again. even though my pregnancy test was pretty much all the proof he could need really.
it would also be born near the start of next year, which would pretty much kill my chances of getting good exam results.

but now i've gone through with it, over this week i keep thinking about it.
and what everything would be like now if i had kept it
alot of the time i've been wishing i'd kept it, and that i would be pregnant right now, with our baby :/
my boyfriend doesn't understand though, i tried talking to him, but he doesn't care atall. he was over the moon that i wanted to get rid, and is just glad its gone forever.

it's just horrible, sitting there and thinking, 'i killed my baby'
and its really splitting my mind, part of me really wants my baby back
but then a smaller part of me knows it was the right decision. bcos ofc i don't want to be a teenage mum. but i just want them back :/

[Scarface]

Teenage pregnancy can be a very emotional and complicated decision, because after all it's a human.. A baby and you want it to live. Then on the other hand you're still young yourself and financially as well as academically it could cause complications because of the pregnancy process. Though I think you made the right decision. Even though it was your child, pregnancy is a big thing, and is a responsibility that deserves a lot of attention and care. Not saying you can't do that, but it would be a lot to handle along with school. Having a child when you're ready to raise and care for him/her that way it gets all of what it needs and I'm sure that's what you want to. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here VM me anytime. I think you made the right decision.

[Obscene Eyedeas]

As a friend once said. it's not a baby not at first. at first it's a parasite and at the end of the day not worth throwing away your future over. just think on it. the pain will go in time just remember what ifs are gone

[Fiction]

When your a teenager, you probably don't have the finances to look after a baby. Also failing your exams, and having to spend your time looking after the baby will ruin your chances of ever earning a decent living. If your bf didn't want the baby, chances are he may leave you later on, leave you just you and the baby to cope on your own. You didn't kill your baby, it wasn't alive. You just have to see the logical side, the side that knows it was best. The emotional ties you had to the baby will soon go. You have your whole future ahead of you, you can find the right man for you and have as many children as you like. you can bring them up in a nice house, with all of it's family, and enough money to provide for it.
Basically you just have to think about it logically. In time the pain will go away, remember that.

Hope i helped :)

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I went through what your going through too,
obviously I can't speak for you but, I really believe you made the best decision for yourself. You were honest enough to admit your not responsible enough to take care of a child right now.