maybe my friends were right.. maybe it is OCD after all.

[1_21Guns]

they'd all noticed my obsession with things having to be at right angles, aligned perfectly, just general order of things had to be "correct" to me, and if it wasn't quite right, i would sit there and do it until i got it right.
the way my room wasn't quite spotless, but everything still had its place, and when it was moved from there, i'd know.
even if someone had walked into my room, i'd know, because something wouldn't be how i left it.
then the other day, i came to realise i get intrusive thoughts, i didn't click at first, i'm not even sure why i didnt, not until i was reading up about what they actually are, and then i realised. i'd go into what they were, but you don't want to know, it's vile, and disgusting. i disgust myself knowing that that even crossed my mind.
theres quite a few other things, i appear to have forgotten, because my memory has just gone to shit... but meh.

so could it be OCD? a lot of things seem to check off, more than i first thought. my friends said it as a joke at first, but now it's become more than real. i know you can't diagnose, but what do you guys think?

[Iron Man]

It could be OCD. Are there any other things you do?

[1_21Guns]

It could be OCD. Are there any other things you do?

as in ritual type things?

i have this obsession with having to have a shower at 9:30pm, if that counts, if i dont, it doesnt feel right.
when i used to have to wash up, i'd wash everything twice.
same with washing my hands, i do it twice.
probably something to do with having to do things an even number of times, which also has to be a multiple of two, including taking tablets etc.
oh, thats another weird one now i come to think of it, probably doesnt mean anything, but when i'm on my laptop, my programs have to be opened in a certain order (iTunes, MSN, firefox/whatever else).

hm.. that's all i can think of at the moment.

[Violetmonster]

with programmes on your laptop? i do it, its not a massive thing :L
i also think most people like things to be wear they left them in their room, bcos its your space, and you don't want other people messing. that's what i'm like..
but alot of what you do is rather OCD ish natalie :L
like the washing up thing at your house, despite friends being round you started to wash the cups we'd just been drinking out of.
go ask a doctor, theres many diffrent forms of OCD, anyone could have it really.

[1_21Guns]

yeahh you're probably right, mum won't let me go as per fucking usual though... plus i wouldnt want to explain some of the above infront of her... just aint nice tbh. guess it'll have to wait till i'm 18... like every other fucking thing she cant find out about. :L

[Iron Man]

Yeah, that is probably OCD. You may want to have a second opinion from a psychologist just to confirm it. OCD isn`t all that bad though. Having it doesn`t make you weird at all. It just happens.

[BeautifulDisaster]

We can't diagnose you or say if it is/isn't, if this interferes so much with your life, I'd say see someone now rather than later.

[carpediem]

Sounds like OCD. I take prozac for OCD and depression but unless it interferes with your life or someone elses I wouldn't worry. I still have some OCD habits but not nearly as bad as try used to be. Try challenging yourself, don't wash your hands twice, etc.

[1_21Guns]

thanks guys.

[LiTTleBrok3nDolly]

i have an obsession of taking showers at 9:30 pm too