I can't do this and I can't face reality

[kidkizzet]

I can't do this. I need to cut.
There are so many thoughts in my head, and I'm trying to block them out but they won't leave. I hate the thoughts. I just need to cut
thoughts about absolutely everything.
There's too many to think clearly. I need to cut.
And as life seems to be improving, something is going downhill. It's the worst thing ever. The thought makes me want to cut.
The true reality makes me want to cut.
I stayed optimistic, hoping things would change for the better. Things only get worse though. I can't face the reality, I need to cut.
I hate reality. I try to block things out but reality hits and it breaks me, it makes me want to cut. I need to cut. I can't do this.
I try to live in a world of my own in an attempt to block out reality, but reality always finds me. I can't do it, I need to cut. I can't face reality.

[Scarface]

You don't need to cut, this never solves any of your problems. It's what I like to call the temporary numb. That means that as soon as you cut and you get that rush, after that you have another problem along with all of the current problems. It's an addiction. A very hard addiction to break, but there are a lot of things you can do to stop. These thoughts in your head and this urge is very strong. I was there and I regretted every time I did it.

Never think that you're alone and you have to as you said "face reality" alone. There are always people there to help you. Maybe you should talk to a school counselor about some of these feelings. Another thing you could do is to start a journal. That way you can write all of these thoughts down. That way you can not only keep your hands busy, but your mind occupied. You don't have to block reality and fall endlessly back into the addiction that will only make things worse. Remember it never solves anything. You could also start to get more involved with activities or to hang out with family or friends more often. That way your mind isn't racing so fast.

Always think positive even in the worst of situations. I know that really seems hard, but you can do this, I believe in you. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here PM/VM me anytime.

[Babobobo]

People are on this earth to help you, not to neglect you. Everyone is on life's journey. Cutting will keep you far behind, don't give up, you're costing so many things in the future that's in store for you. Life's not going to give you fame, fortune, and good luck on a silver platter, nor is it going to find you, you have to find it youself.

:[]

[Aspiringanonymous]

It seems, from reading your post, that there is a voice in your mind which continuously reinforces the idea that life is unbearable and you need cutting to survive. We've discussed this in private before, and you are aware of the fact that all of this is a self-sustaining vicious cycle, feeding off your mental weaknesses for the sole purpose of perpetuating itself. That is, at any cost. It doesn't care about you and how much it might be hurting you, because it's simply exercising its nature.

While all of these different thoughts may be yours, originating out of your own conscious process, altogether they have been influenced by a more powerful force, and then these independent thought strains are organized together in a manner that is detrimental to your clarity of mind - the greatest enemy of the irrational.

Your post sounded like it was written at a point where the irrational force has just about overwhelmed you completely. And I'm saying this because as an observer and a friend I found it deeply concerning, even disturbing. Just remember, whenever you are feeling unwell, talk to someone, anyone - so long as a link to the outside world remains, the power within will be unable to expand to its full capacity. The voice that says you need to cut, never ever trust it, as you know that it ultimately harbours ill intentions. Hang on tight, it will pass, and you will be okay.

As for accepting reality, that is a different discussion, for when your consciousness is less clouded by the obscure. Right now, just focus on staying grounded and letting the storm pass. I will be more than happy to continue this talk, if you'd like, whenever you're ready.

As always, you know I'm here for you hun. :hug3:

[kidkizzet]

Thanks for all the replies. I did end up cutting though, like 10 minutes after I made the thread. I'm so fucking stupid.

I'm kinda struggling right now. Your replies are helping me right now, they're the only thing keeping me from cutting.

[crims0nbl00d]

Hey ^_^ Not cutting can be very hard I know :/ But there are other options.
I know they may not do much, and you may already know this, but here are some tips to help.

-Draw smiley faces on your arm (this works pretty well sometimes :])
-watch tv
-play video games
-chat with friends and be around people
-throw away what you use to cut (this can be very hard for some people)

There is no easy way to stop, but its good that you want too :] thats the first step.


please message me if you ever want to take.. im always here ^_^

[kidkizzet]

Thanks for the tips. And I have thrown away the blades that I used to use but last night I ended up using a sharp bit on a pen lid to cut. I'm trying to keep myself occupied but it's hard.