It's ruining my life...

[Vurtine]

I have a wonderful life and always have. Christmas days with the family, lovely presents every birthday and the best friends I could wish for. Through different stages in my life i've been attracted to some guys, like little crushes? and before that I dated a few girls then it moved to imagining sexual activity with guys, even though I couldn't do it in real life. I have kissed one guy when I was about 9, and when I look back I feel sick, even though it's not that big of a deal. Last night, I had a dream that I was getting married to a beautiful girl, but I had to let her down when the moment came because I didnt feel comfortable with the thought of being with a girl for the rest of my life. But, It's exactly the same with guys - I couldn't be with one. I feel like I'll be alone forever with nobody but friends and family to look after me If i'm ill or lonely. I don't want to be alone. If I didn't feel this way towards guys, I wouldn't have this problem and I want to die. I don't want a guy, I want a girl that we can care and love eachother. This whole mental feeling is ruining my life.

I dont know whether it's a phase or a permanent feeling... idk.

Also, I have nothing against gay people :)

[georgiamay]

mmm... maybe you should just go with it? i mean, just see how it goes until you can say to yourself with absolute certainty, 'i'm gay,' or 'i'm straight' or 'i'm bi'. it sounds like you're just experimenting a little, and you're not sure what your sexuality is just yet. one day you'll know what you are, and then it will be you. Then you'll be yourself. you're just curious at the moment by the sounds of it, so i wouldn't worry about it, it won't ruin your life, its just you trying to find yourself. VM me if you wanna talk :)

[myskias]

dude this is normal. you are at that stage right inbetween both gay and straight. it sucks i have been there. but you just need to stay strong and push through it. you are strong i can tell. Dont let your sexuality of all things haunt you for your life. you need to accept it for what it is and not let it bother you.. and also...

why are you already looking so far into the future and thinking youre going to be alone? youre only a teenager.. live in the now. the good of the future will come only if you live in the now. trust me on that one

[Fiction]

I've been in this situation too, when i was about 12. It made my life a misery too, for well over a year. It sorted it's self out though. I now know i'm straight. I know it's scary and worrying but how you feel about boys and girl will sort themself out. It's not time to worry about it now. Be with who you want to be with now and later make the decision of weather your gay, straight or bi. It will sort it's self out, you just have to give it time.

You can vm me if you want to talk :)

[The Flightless Hawk]

just go with your feelings and try things out and decide when you are sure and know for certain.

[TheFame]

Dude seriously? You want to die because you have feelings for guys.

First of all almost all boys go through this, through puberty.

Right now you could be straight.
You could be BI
You could be Gay.

[Bawnji]

Being unmarried and single seem to be my preference.
Not all people are geared towards bonds with other people.

[chazzrox2]

You're right it could just be a phase, it could be that you just don't feel ready for any sort of relationship wether it be with a guy or girl, this doesn't make you any particular sexuality.
But also you could be bi, you could be confused, the only way to find out is to experiment i'm afraid to say. You might be nervous about it but hey you might enjoy it you might not, ther's only one way to find out