Something Inexplicable

[Aspiringanonymous]

It's suffocating me. But I'm too tired to resist it. I'm too tired to do anything. I just want to disappear because I'm too ashamed to show my presence. None of this makes sense, either, and I hate confusion more than anything. So I don't know what to say, but I never do anyway. I'm just an empty, withered soul hiding beneath a facade of eloquence.

Peel away the deceiving cover to reveal the essence of my words. It is one void of hope and the ability to appreciate beauty, much less the ability to inspire others. It contains the lament of one whose heart has already died; killed itself first to protest the inevitability of dying at the hands of the cruel world.

I must stop now. Everything past this point is a blur in my mind.

[nick]

But you do inspire others and as a result are loved and admired for it.
*hugs*

[1_21Guns]

:hug:

hun i'm here if you ever need to talk, remember that.

[Scarface]

Never be ashamed to show you presence. You've got quite the bright personality and you always seem to light peoples day when I see you interacting with people. Confusion is a very irritating and frustrating thing to deal with. Especially if it's regarding feelings or purpose of any sort. I know you have it in you to show your true colors you're very inspiring. Just the way you represent yourself as a staff member and as a friend. Never be ashamed of who you are. You always have friends in your corner to boost you up. Don't over analyze it, we may be pixels on a screen, but we're here to help whenever you need that helping hand. :hug2:

[Kaius]

Maya, you've been there for pretty much all of us when we needed someone, we want to do the same for you. If you need to talk you know where to find me :)

[Aspiringanonymous]

Why doesn't anyone understand? Why am I so different? Why do I even bother holding on to myself anyway? I don't care if I betray myself, I don't care if I turn everything into shambles, if I return to what I used to be. Clarity of mind never led me anywhere, self-awareness didn't either, nothing can solve the fundamental problem that I'm stuck inside a human body that I don't identify with, inside a human society whose basic values I don't understand. Nothing can save me, because I can't be saved you see, unless I stop existing, which I can't unfortunately. I can't do it unless something powerful enough provokes me, and I wish that could happen. I wish something or someone would just give me the opportunity to fuck up once and for all. I'm so close to cutting right now, after a year and a half of percieved progress; of confusion, cynicism, and finally complete apathy.. I've seen all I needed to see, I don't mind going back.

I'm sorry, this is very inarticulate and unlike the me that usually posts around here. I'm too unwell to fuss over words right now.

[Harley Quinn]

and what if you continue that cycle, and you get like you were previously, that wont help. you don't need cutting, and you don't need to prove anything to anyone. you're your own person, you don't need to fit in, so what you're different, so what? not everyone is the same, and when it comes down to it, you're Maya no one else, Maya. you don't have to understand everything, sometimes it's best to just to just go with the flow and see where that takes you. You always know where I am if you need me /shit advice :P

[georgiamay]

Clarity of mind never led me anywhere, self-awareness didn't either, nothing can solve the fundamental problem that I'm stuck inside a human body that I don't identify with, inside a human society whose basic values I don't understand.

And neither will cutting. The only thing cutting will do is make things worse. You've been there, so I know you know that, I know you know what it's like to hide.
A year and a half of "perceived progress" you say? well to me that's pretty good progress, it's not perceived progress, it's progress. If you throw that all away now, you'll be back to square one again, and nothing will have changed, so it's kind of pointless.

Why doesn't anyone understand? Why am I so different?

Because you're you! you're maya, no one else. The only person that can ever truly understand you is you. It doesn't matter if no one else understands, they don't need to understand, and you don't need to understand them. The only person you need to understand is you.

You've done so much for me and everyone else, so i really want to give something back. This might not be a great help, but i'm always here if you want to talk :) it's the least i could do, you're advice has helped me and probably so many others that we want to give something back, so you know where i am. :hug:

[HellHound]

Well,i once posted on the same subject and you helped me with your wise words.Life is not what you always want,people are not the way they should be.Think how many centuries of evolution were needed to create a being like you,a human among few that reflect over the past and future,that act further than their primal instincts and dont have their mind poisoned by the stupidity of society.Embrace life and that body that was meant to be yours and just go away for a while from the city,reconnect with nature. i do hope you find yourself again and that i helped .