Guys i need your input here

[tomboysk8r1314]

Ok so im a tomboy..(girl who likes guys stuff) ive been one for like forever now. So ive been wondering why dont guys like me, like why dont they wanna date me and stuff. I love videogames, contact sports (tackle football and hockey are my fave), i have burping contests with my guy friends, and i love to get down and dirty and play in the mud. I dont like pink, skirts, dresses or anything like that tho...so guys, why do u think the dudes i know wont date me?

[Voodoo]

Well, it's just that you could be different and other things could come into account, but my guess is that some may think you're lesbian (Don't come to conclusions) others may be attracted to you and do not want to admit it, due to their friends may make fun of them. But, hey you never know the right person may come tomorrow

Remember tomorrow never comes

- Skybar

(Sean)

[Babobobo]

You don't HAVE to be liked by a guy all the time. And don't change yourself just because you want other people to like you, because that's living a fake life. Maybe you could just think deeply about why you don't like those girl-ish things, and why you do like those guy-ish things.

[Cloud]

Chances are they consider you more of a guy, than a girl. And even if you have all that stuff in common with them its still gross and alot of guys would agree, so alot of that stuff would be a big nono in a guys books for a potential date.
IF you want a guy youll have to act like a girl and less like a guy is what im gonna say

[nick]

Er, um, what Calum is saying (I feel -rep coming on here) is that they think you are a dyke. Now I know that's stupid and, let me make this clear (as a gay guy myself) I have nothing against lesbians (especially not my penis, lol). There is no reason why you should have to start wearing frilly knickers and putting bows in your hair just to attract a guy, but maybe burping contests are a step too far?

[Cloud]

Er, um, what Calum is saying (I feel -rep coming on here) is that they think you are a dyke. Now I know that's stupid and, let me make this clear (as a gay guy myself) I have nothing against lesbians (especially not my penis, lol). There is no reason why you should have to start wearing frilly knickers and putting bows in your hair just to attract a guy, but maybe burping contests are a step too far?

No im not
im saying that they see her more as one of the crew rather than a dateable girl
and im not saying she needs to don the frillies, just girl it up a bit so they doont associate her as only one of the 'Guys' so to speak

[Black or White]

I think it mainly will be because they see you as "one of the lads" more or less, its fine for guys to have burping contests in their eyes and if youre joining in it will seem to them that youre more like them and thats not what the majority of guys want. Guys can be disgusting around their guy friends, but if a girl does the same as them it isnt seen as very "lady like", I know that if my girlfriend was always playing football, burping with guys in contests that I probably wouldnt have gone out with her, its quite off putting. I think in some sense that I would feel that my girlfriend would be able to dominate me and being a guy I wouldnt like that. I think its the same with women who body build, not many guys like someone with larger muscles than themselves. I am with Cloud and Nick on this one. Best of luck :)

[Voodoo]

Guys, shes a person you don't have to say she has to dress more like a girl. She dresses the way she wants too, personally I'm kinda attracted to tom boys due to what they like, to me they are more compatible to us, but most boys like the "girly girl".

- Skybar
Sean

Rep would be nice

[nick]

No im not
OK, my bad

[Kaius]

:arrow2: Relationships and Dating

[nickw_2013]

It may be because they see you more as one of the guys, as other before have said. You don't have to dress super girly or anything but try to lose a couple of the masculine features (i.e. burping contests) and when you're with them be a little more feminine than normal. They should catch on and if any of them like you as more than a friend they should react.

[tomboysk8r1314]

Thanks guys! :) That does help, and about the burping contests...its them who invited me to participate lol so yeah. I dont want to dress more frilly i hate that stuff, i love my athletic shorts and t-shirts thank ya very much. and all the guys know im not lesbian, so i guess you're right about the they think im like one of them and stuff but how can i get them to know that i like being with them and stuff but im still a girl who doesnt mind one of them dating me? (You guys are all such a big help! (:

[Cloud]

doesnt need to be frilly
just something more ladylike

and you could try asking one out?

[tomboysk8r1314]

By lady-like u mean?

[Voodoo]

Like mix up your clothing so you look more girlish I think he means.

[Cloud]

something along these lines
http://img.skinnyvscurvy.com/2009/05/audrina-patridge-1-girl-2-pairs-of-jeans-new-blonde-hair.jpg
like jeans and a nice tshirt, top thing
just so its not all tracksuits and sportsgear

[tomboysk8r1314]

Maybe you could just think deeply about why you don't like those girl-ish things, and why you do like those guy-ish things.

I'm always thinking about this and my conclusion is that the reason i like guy things is because when i was little they seemed a whole lot more fun than sitting inside painting my nails and playing with dolls. Girl-ish stuff makes me feel like im vaunerable and helpless while the guy-ish stuff makes me feel like i can take care of myself and dont need constant protection.. I think that makes sense

so pretty much like more flesh showing? Yeah last time i did that (it was a dare) i heard a lot of comments about my boobs....well at least the guys were happy :P Oh and yeah i do wear jeans and stuff im not ALWAYS in athletic shorts and t-shirts..thats just what i wear a good 2/5 days a week (during school) but i dont own a lot of those kinda shirts, i have like one or two and i only wear those when i have to go to church


[Please dont double post, use the edit feature-Cloud]

[Cloud]

No ididnt mean it as showing more flesh,
something like this
http://www.irenelim.com/fashion/images2/twisted-front-casual-blouse-b.jpg
not overly frilly, not too formal or casual And ladylike
or this
http://www.irenelim.com/fashion/images/v-style-casual-blouse-b.jpg

[Voodoo]

Cloud, it seems like you know a lot about female attire aye?

[Cloud]

doesnt take much to be observant of what looks good and what doesnt on women

So longnamepersonwhomadethethread, try looking around at the girls in your school or wherever who are deemed as fashionable and try to adapt a style from theirs

[tomboysk8r1314]

But thats not me, i dont follow all that hollister, abercrombe, and aeropostale crap, and thats what the fashionable people wear and i dont wanna play 30 bucks for a shirt

But thats not me, i dont follow all that hollister, abercrombe, and aeropostale crap, and thats what the fashionable people wear and i dont wanna play 30 bucks for a shirt

[Cloud]

well try to adapt your own style by observing other girls outfit ideas to something that would suit you that youd be comfortable wearing that would make you stand out to the guys as a girl
and i never said go for the name brand stuff
alot of supermarkets do great clothes which are well made and are low price
find a style, adapt it, then find a place which supports that style in your budget
not sure which country your in
but Asda and Tesco for us brits do good clothing at a low price and are both supermarkets
and if you have any cheap clothing specialist stores like Primark then it may be worth checking those out

[tomboysk8r1314]

sorry about the double posts by the way im trying to figure out how to delete it if i accidently do post double. And well still its just not really my style to wear that type of stuff.....for now im just gonna stick with my personality and the style i currently love and ill hope to find a guy that will like me for who i am and what i like...thanks you guys ur help is much appreciated :D

[Aspiringanonymous]

sorry about the double posts by the way im trying to figure out how to delete it if i accidently do post double. And well still its just not really my style to wear that type of stuff.....for now im just gonna stick with my personality and the style i currently love and ill hope to find a guy that will like me for who i am and what i like...thanks you guys ur help is much appreciated :D
That's the attitude you should have. Never change yourself just to please the masses. A worthwhile relationship is a companionship and not a gesture, and the only way to have a real companionship is when both people are comfortable with fully being themselves around one another. If you have to force yourself into a way that you find distasteful, you know that deep down it won't be pleasant even if it attracts the male attention you've wanted.

Be patient. Have confidence in yourself. The best things are worth waiting for.

[Sage]

I'm not going to name any names, but anyone who tells you that the only way to get into a relationship is to not be the person you're comfortable being should kindly go shove a fire hydrant up their as as that is shitty advice.

I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you this: Most teenage guys are ridiculously insecure about their own masculinity and the 'league' of women they think they can go out with. Most guys would think it'd be totally awesome to have a girlfriend who's into videogames and getting physical (in the violent sense) and all that good stuff. However, those are typically considered male activities and seeing someone like yourself so into them makes them feel like less of a man, again, due to their insecurities. The problem isn't you, it is them.

I could go on rambling about this for ages, but I'll save time and share a few time-tested cliches. First, the only person who needs to love you is yourself, relationships are a lot of work and you shouldn't feel bad about not having one. Consider yourself more free than others.

Second, don't change a thing about yourself. Your relationship will suck if it's built atop a shitty foundation, that being, you having to wear clothes and do things you otherwise wouldn't normally do. You won't enjoy yourself as much.

Last, building on the first point, enjoy yourself whether you're with somebody or not. Maybe you'll have to wait longer to find someone compatible with you, but when you do, it'll be a relationship actually worth your time.

Now, the rest of you- Telling someone to not be themselves to get into a relationship? You all disappoint me.

[skinny_white_boy]

Some guys just perfer different. like someone they can show off and be like i have a hottie. but its really about personality for me, many guys and girls like the looks and dont pay much attention to personality


P.S-I wish i knew a girl like you cuz id totally date em :D

[nick]

I'm not going to name any names, but anyone who tells you that the only way to get into a relationship is to not be the person you're comfortable being should kindly go shove a fire hydrant up their as as that is shitty advice.

I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you this: Most teenage guys are ridiculously insecure about their own masculinity and the 'league' of women they think they can go out with. Most guys would think it'd be totally awesome to have a girlfriend who's into videogames and getting physical (in the violent sense) and all that good stuff. However, those are typically considered male activities and seeing someone like yourself so into them makes them feel like less of a man, again, due to their insecurities. The problem isn't you, it is them.

I could go on rambling about this for ages, but I'll save time and share a few time-tested cliches. First, the only person who needs to love you is yourself, relationships are a lot of work and you shouldn't feel bad about not having one. Consider yourself more free than others.

Second, don't change a thing about yourself. Your relationship will suck if it's built atop a shitty foundation, that being, you having to wear clothes and do things you otherwise wouldn't normally do. You won't enjoy yourself as much.

Last, building on the first point, enjoy yourself whether you're with somebody or not. Maybe you'll have to wait longer to find someone compatible with you, but when you do, it'll be a relationship actually worth your time.

Now, the rest of you- Telling someone to not be themselves to get into a relationship? You all disappoint me.
I agree. You should wear whatever you feel comfortable with, anyone that's going to love you will see past that and love you just as you are. Like Calum said earlier though, you dont have to wait to be asked out, you can always do the asking.

[tomboysk8r1314]

You guys are all awesome! Thank you soo much u made my day :)

[nickw_2013]

You guys are all awesome! Thank you soo much u made my day :)
Hope you can figure something out between you and your guy friends.

[Quick_Sylver]

Tim and Maya are right.

Wearing what you want is a big part of yourself.

However, if you want to start seeming more feminine(you might eventually, you never know) start simple, not big like Calum was suggesting. It might make you lose your guyfriends, because they'll be startled. Guys dont like being startled. Start with a little hairclip, or pulling your hair into a bun when you're hanging out. Suble changes. :) *hugs* Good luck hun.

[tomboysk8r1314]

Hope you can figure something out between you and your guy friends.

Well i know they're not gonna want to stop being friends cuz we've been together since i moved here 6 years ago. But hopefully the one i do have my eye on will notice that mayb i do want a relationship ;) haha thanks anyways

Tim and Maya are right.

Wearing what you want is a big part of yourself.

However, if you want to start seeming more feminine(you might eventually, you never know) start simple, not big like Calum was suggesting. It might make you lose your guyfriends, because they'll be startled. Guys dont like being startled. Start with a little hairclip, or pulling your hair into a bun when you're hanging out. Suble changes. :) *hugs* Good luck hun.

thanks for the good luck :) lol but since i keep my hair short ponytails and buns make me look pretty frikin hilarious...believe me i HAD to keep it up for volleyball one year and it was horrible :P