singeramber
July 20th, 2010, 02:09 AM
Today is my first day in a LONG while I have been cut free...
My backstory is when I was 7 I was nearlly raped by one of my dad EX friends! :( They sent me to a councellor and I just do what I normally do put on my I'm face and people tend to believe it (actress), got discharged saying there was no shock or metal damage and I just went on my way...
Just after my 8th birthday I found my mums razor, brand new not even out of the packaging, I had heard about self harming at school but never thought I'd do it...
I then got bullied A LOT, my cat, rabbit and guine pig died, I just couldn't handle life anymore... So I did it, my first cut, the relief I felt was unreal it was like the bathroom had turned into my own personal eurphoria...
But then I looked at my wrist with blood pouring into the sink I knew I had to deal with this myself so I went down stairs, used what little first aid knowledge I knew and bandaged my arm and managed to stop the bleeding, then I heard my mum coming up the stairs so I quickly started running a bath whilst I had time to clean all of my blood off the floor and sink...
To this day she still doesn't know, then I found away to cut in places no-one would see, my hairline, my wrists if I wore my sweatbands...
soon there were cuts all over and this was by the age of 10...
Secondary school came and the bulling got much worse... :mad:
I left my self go and way to many sugary stuff than I should of, 3 years later (13) I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, so the cutting stopped since I was checked all the time to make sure I did it right...
After my parents trusted me to do it on my own and I moved from injection to tablets, life became slightly easier but then my Mum left me, my sister and my dad...
My sister basically became my mum and she won't let it drop, she was missing so much school because she worked so hard she became ill alot of the time... then we learned how to look after each other :) now were one big happy family!
I see my mum occasionally but I do miss here not being here when I went through puberty... :whoops:
Then boys came along, all of my friends had boyfriends so I got lonely and felt left out so I started doing it again, I did straight everyday mulitple times sometimes for 1 and half years...
Now were up to the present day...
My friend has been encouraging me to get rid of my blades and knifes so I did... He also put me on this website and this post is gonna be my calender, clean of cutting day 2 starts now! ;)
My backstory is when I was 7 I was nearlly raped by one of my dad EX friends! :( They sent me to a councellor and I just do what I normally do put on my I'm face and people tend to believe it (actress), got discharged saying there was no shock or metal damage and I just went on my way...
Just after my 8th birthday I found my mums razor, brand new not even out of the packaging, I had heard about self harming at school but never thought I'd do it...
I then got bullied A LOT, my cat, rabbit and guine pig died, I just couldn't handle life anymore... So I did it, my first cut, the relief I felt was unreal it was like the bathroom had turned into my own personal eurphoria...
But then I looked at my wrist with blood pouring into the sink I knew I had to deal with this myself so I went down stairs, used what little first aid knowledge I knew and bandaged my arm and managed to stop the bleeding, then I heard my mum coming up the stairs so I quickly started running a bath whilst I had time to clean all of my blood off the floor and sink...
To this day she still doesn't know, then I found away to cut in places no-one would see, my hairline, my wrists if I wore my sweatbands...
soon there were cuts all over and this was by the age of 10...
Secondary school came and the bulling got much worse... :mad:
I left my self go and way to many sugary stuff than I should of, 3 years later (13) I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, so the cutting stopped since I was checked all the time to make sure I did it right...
After my parents trusted me to do it on my own and I moved from injection to tablets, life became slightly easier but then my Mum left me, my sister and my dad...
My sister basically became my mum and she won't let it drop, she was missing so much school because she worked so hard she became ill alot of the time... then we learned how to look after each other :) now were one big happy family!
I see my mum occasionally but I do miss here not being here when I went through puberty... :whoops:
Then boys came along, all of my friends had boyfriends so I got lonely and felt left out so I started doing it again, I did straight everyday mulitple times sometimes for 1 and half years...
Now were up to the present day...
My friend has been encouraging me to get rid of my blades and knifes so I did... He also put me on this website and this post is gonna be my calender, clean of cutting day 2 starts now! ;)