Does age matter?

[Mariiniitahh]

ok well i've always dated guys who are 1-3 years older than me but recently i met this guy thats 19 (im 14) we've been talkng for a few months now and he says he loves me. my cousin says that its wrong if i date him cause he's "too old" for me but anyways do you guys think age matters in a relationship?

[Sith Lord 13]

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: Age plays a role in any relationship. An age disparity that is more than a third of your life span is a bit much. That's not to say the relationship couldn't work between you two, but rather that it would be exceedingly difficult. Considering the fact that you're located in the US, your relationship would technically be illegal. You most likely would find there are just too many obstacles to make it work.

[1_21Guns]

at your age in particular, yes it does.
because you'd need a great deal of maturity for the relationship to last with someone who's 19 while you're just 14 years old.
you've only been talking a few months, and he loves you?
seems strange,
but as Sith Lord 13 said,
age pays a pretty vital part in relationships, and without a similar amount of maturity within the relationship, petty arguments break out and you just end up being hurt.

[Aspiringanonymous]

Compatibility matters. Age is seen by most as an issue because age tends to dictate circumstances, and dating someone who is in a different life stage than you is a perfect example of incompatibility.

It's important to have similar values, goals, and interests. That's what makes a companionship meaningful, much more so than any of the romantic gestures and intoxicating attraction. In most cases, a 19 year old would be looking to become independent while a 14 year old would be just entering high school, hence very different circumstances and mental focuses. Most, but by no means all.

I dated a 21 year old when I was 14; we were in the exact same phase of life and mind. Still in high school and living off our parents, had no idea where our lives were heading, tended to be depressed and absurdly clingy. What separated us in the end had nothing to do with age or 'maturity'.

[honeybear]

as in any dating relationship how you treat each other is important too.. my bf is going to be 19 soon and I just turned 14...we've been together for a year now and it's been the best time of my life..he treats me very well and we get along very well...we tell each other we love each other and mean it. Just be careful tho and take it slow if it is meant to be you will know

[nickw_2013]

Age does matter, with age comes maturity (in most cases). And as 1_21Guns said, you'd have to be really mature for a relationship with a 19 year old to last.
Not to mention anything other than a verbal relationship between a 19 year old and a 14 year old is sorta illegal..

[-Silence]

I say no, it's just a number.
Ben and I are 11 years apart.

[nickw_2013]

I say no, it's just a number.
Ben and I are 11 years apart.
You're dating an 11 year old?!? Thats not even right O.o

EDIT: I Assumed the wrong age... D:

[-Silence]

You're dating an 11 year old?!? Thats not even right O.o

Umm, not trying to be mean but reread what I wrote.

Ben and I are 11 years apart, which means I am 22 and Ben is 33.

[nickw_2013]

Umm, not trying to be mean but reread what I wrote.

Ben and I are 11 years apart, which means I am 22 and Ben is 33.

ohhhh ok thats different.. sorry:)

[honeybear]

legal and illegal vary from state to state...and generally the only people who can really get someone busted is a parent. believe me I've checked. My mom is very fond of my bf mainly because of how happy he makes me and how well he treats me...as far as anyone else knows we're just dating and nothing physical....cuz it isnt really any of their business

[IanMilo]

In adult life it isn't to big a deal, and my personal rule is no more than 3 or 4. Years. But I'm totally cool with other people age difference. Love knows no bounds so it shouldn't be a big deal

however, he is at the college age, meaning he is getting ready to leave assuming he wants education. Then there's the maturity issue

I won't say anything but to be careful

[pageplant77]

Well, legally, yes. A 19 year old dating a minor, with 5 years in between, would be illegal(unless you had parental consent) . I'm sure that there is someone else out there you :)

[Kuervo]

well lets seehmmmmmmmmmm ur 14 hes 19 hmmmmmmm,

[stitch]

No I don't think age matters. The only thing that matters is how your relationship is formed. I have dated younger guys/girls and it has been fine. But like mentioned above it also depends on the parents.

[Jess]

age doesn't matter but I think this is not allowed. I think you should go look for someone closer to your age

[love_linds]

Umm, not trying to be mean but reread what I wrote.

Ben and I are 11 years apart, which means I am 22 and Ben is 33.

that is a big age difference but two are both adults.

i guess age doesnt really matter but think about this... you will probably end up getting hurt in the end because he will hopefully realize that you are to young for him.
and it seems lik you dont kno this man very much so just be careful.
also, love after talking for a couple months?? do you trust this guy and are you sure he just doesnt want to take advantage of you??

just things to think about..

[The Dark Lord]

age doesn't matter but I think this is not allowed. I think you should go look for someone closer to your age

So does age matter?

[Jess]

I said in THIS situation it might be illegal for a 14 year old to be with someone 5 years older, but otherwise age doesn't matter. if you have your parents' consent then it's all right

[annabie]

at your age in particular, yes it does.
because you'd need a great deal of maturity for the relationship to last with someone who's 19 while you're just 14 years old.
you've only been talking a few months, and he loves you?
seems strange,
but as Sith Lord 13 said,
age pays a pretty vital part in relationships, and without a similar amount of maturity within the relationship, petty arguments break out and you just end up being hurt.
I agree with you. It really does matter in your situation. He is way mature than you, and it's really risky to love a guy like that. Who knows if he is serious about the relationship and respect you. You need to be careful, and there must be some adult who close to you knowing about your decision.