What do I want??

[steve1234]

I just really annoy myself sometimes, well, all the time.

I have a small group of friends, who I have somehow managed to hold on to. They invite me to parties/gatherings etc quite a few times, but I only go a few times, not all the time.

When I do go out, its alright I suppose. Do a little socialising. Have a bit of a laugh (well, not so much recently). But it always makes me depressed, and I just don't particularly like my generation. All they seem to be interested in is talking about smoking, drinking, having sex, rap music, and how ugly/annoying some people are :mad: . They talk about all the stuff I hate. I prefer to have a civilised conversation. Its times like these I realise how I prefer to be alone.

BUT, when I am alone at home, I get depressed as well and what to go out and socialise, have fun etc. I hate being alone with my horrible, vulgar, selfish thoughts.

So, what the hell do I want??? Although I may have described them negatively, they are decent friends (sometimes), and its probably my own fault that I feel alienated from them. My parents say that socialising will get easier the more you do it. Thats hard to believe.

[Aspiringanonymous]

You want a meaningful companionship, one with substance and not just appearance. People to relate to and share common ideas - that's the whole point of socializing. Those friends you have are able experience this with one another, as they are perhaps genuinely interested in activities which you find distasteful.

It's not your fault at all, you just possess a different awareness than the majority. Many of us here do, and that is why we come to places like this to seek companionship.

Great minds must learn to appreciate solitude - which does not always equal loneliness. No matter what you do, never compromise yourself in order to 'fit in' - a part of you deep down will always feel peculiar about the forced, unnatural change.

If you need someone to talk to, I am here. :hug3:

[Delusion15]

Man How am i supposed to follow that :D

But yeah I agree with her your looking for a companion
You wan't for lack of a better word a best friend.

I was very unsociable before I met micheal who is my best friend. Someone who is smart enough to debate with me and thinks alot like me.

So like Krezyln said most of are here for that for the very reason you said so we can all be unsociable together woo :yeah:

Sorry....point being We are all here to talk if you need somebody ok :)