Worrying and the Disgusting Habit

[guacamole24]

I am afraid that I may be suffering from anxiety, because about all I've done this summer is worry. I worry when I watch television, I worry when I eat, before I sleep, all the time. It's driving me crazy.

The main source of worry for me is something that I've talked about on here before, and have gotten a few replies about, but I still feel like I haven't gotten the right answer yet. And it's really pretty disgusting.
I have been masturbating in class for the past few years. It's been an ongoing thing, and I never really thought about it until now. The way I did this (it's important to the story) is rub myself through my shorts until the point of ejaculation. I tended to do it a few times a day. It didn't strike me until early this summer how really wrong that was. And then my mind wandered into the risks.

I've gotten answers before on here saying that it wasn't possible for someone to get pregnant because of what I did, considering the facts that I ejaculated into my shorts and sperm or semen probably wouldn't have gotten onto the chair I was sitting in, and even if it somehow did, the sperm cells would die soon after being released into the air. But me being me, the answers only satisfied me for awhile, and I kept asking questions to myself.

Could the semen have somehow gotten onto the chair, even if it soaked into my shorts? And then could it somehow soak through the next girl's skirt that sat there, and end up getting her pregnant? I've read various reports (after doing research) that sperm CAN soak through clothes. And that made me worry even more. And among all this worry, the thought hit me: Could what I did have transmitted STD's as well?!

And that's not even all. Part of my developing constant worrying, I am also becoming a major hypochondriac. I get a sinus infection, and my brain just keeps on going until it can imagine that it's something way worse.

And to make things all the more scary, I feel like I have no one to talk to. I could obviously NEVER mention the masturbation story to my parents, I don't confide in my dad, and my mom, who I do usually talk to, is having an operation soon, has been quite on edge. And medication that she's getting ready to take may put her even more on edge. And I don't feel like i can do a thing.

And believe it or not, me being possibly gay is finally taking a back seat, but it still worries me occasionally.

To sum it all up, I feel horrible and disgusting for doing what I did in class, I may be a chronic masturbator, I'm becoming a huge hypochondriac, I feel alone, and I may be gay. And constant circle of thoughts going around my brain. And who can I talk to? Please help.

Sorry for the length, by the way.

[1_21Guns]

I am afraid that I may be suffering from anxiety, because about all I've done this summer is worry. I worry when I watch television, I worry when I eat, before I sleep, all the time. It's driving me crazy.
possible, but without seeing a doctor you don't know for certain, so i'd reccomend that if possible. Maybe you're just a worrying person, some are. However exesive worrying can be quite serious. Worst thing you can do is diagnose yourself, just makes you have symptoms you don't actually have.

The main source of worry for me is something that I've talked about on here before, and have gotten a few replies about, but I still feel like I haven't gotten the right answer yet. And it's really pretty disgusting.
I have been masturbating in class for the past few years. It's been an ongoing thing, and I never really thought about it until now. The way I did this (it's important to the story) is rub myself through my shorts until the point of ejaculation. I tended to do it a few times a day. It didn't strike me until early this summer how really wrong that was. And then my mind wandered into the risks.
do you still do it, or have you stopped now? as long as you've learnt the error of your ways and stopped, what does it even matter?

I've gotten answers before on here saying that it wasn't possible for someone to get pregnant because of what I did, considering the facts that I ejaculated into my shorts and sperm or semen probably wouldn't have gotten onto the chair I was sitting in, and even if it somehow did, the sperm cells would die soon after being released into the air. But me being me, the answers only satisfied me for awhile, and I kept asking questions to myself.

Could the semen have somehow gotten onto the chair, even if it soaked into my shorts? And then could it somehow soak through the next girl's skirt that sat there, and end up getting her pregnant? I've read various reports (after doing research) that sperm CAN soak through clothes. And that made me worry even more. And among all this worry, the thought hit me: Could what I did have transmitted STD's as well?!
impossible. yes it is true sperm can soak through clothes, however to soak through your shorts, then into the chair, then back into the next girls skirt, and her underwear AND get her preganant is practically impossible. the sperm would be dead by then. you cannot possibly have transmited anything or caused a pregnancy.

And that's not even all. Part of my developing constant worrying, I am also becoming a major hypochondriac. I get a sinus infection, and my brain just keeps on going until it can imagine that it's something way worse.
do you often try and diagnose yourself, and then when you do find out whats wrong, imagine the worst case scenario? yeah doing that won't help you, it's a hard habit to break, but it's one it's best not to have.

And to make things all the more scary, I feel like I have no one to talk to. I could obviously NEVER mention the masturbation story to my parents, I don't confide in my dad, and my mom, who I do usually talk to, is having an operation soon, has been quite on edge. And medication that she's getting ready to take may put her even more on edge. And I don't feel like i can do a thing.

And believe it or not, me being possibly gay is finally taking a back seat, but it still worries me occasionally.

To sum it all up, I feel horrible and disgusting for doing what I did in class, I may be a chronic masturbator, I'm becoming a huge hypochondriac, I feel alone, and I may be gay. And constant circle of thoughts going around my brain. And who can I talk to? Please help.

Sorry for the length, by the way.

you could talk to someone on here, maybe a trusted friend, someone at school? you can PM me if you want to talk, but you might not because i'm a girl and all :P but yeah i'm here if you need me, along with probably everyone else here.

[guacamole24]

Thank you so much for your light and encouragement :).

possible, but without seeing a doctor you don't know for certain, so i'd reccomend that if possible. Maybe you're just a worrying person, some are. However exesive worrying can be quite serious. Worst thing you can do is diagnose yourself, just makes you have symptoms you don't actually have.

I have not talked to a doctor about it, mostly because my mom or dad (whoever goes with me there, but usually my mom) are always in the room with me, and if my mom knew I was worrying as much I am, she would get worried, and so on.

do you still do it, or have you stopped now? as long as you've learnt the error of your ways and stopped, what does it even matter?

Yes, I have vowed to stop. The new school starts pretty soon, and I am vowing to wait until I get home.

impossible. yes it is true sperm can soak through clothes, however to soak through your shorts, then into the chair, then back into the next girls skirt, and her underwear AND get her preganant is practically impossible. the sperm would be dead by then. you cannot possibly have transmited anything or caused a pregnancy.

THANK YOU so much.

do you often try and diagnose yourself, and then when you do find out whats wrong, imagine the worst case scenario? yeah doing that won't help you, it's a hard habit to break, but it's one it's best not to have.

Yes, I do.

you could talk to someone on here, maybe a trusted friend, someone at school? you can PM me if you want to talk, but you might not because i'm a girl and all :P but yeah i'm here if you need me, along with probably everyone else here.

Thank you. And thank you again for the reply. :)

[guacamole24]

I've started worrying again.

Would it make a difference that the chairs at my school are solid material, like plastic, and the sperm would have just sat ON the chair instead of soaking in? Would that help the sperm live longer?

[Sith Lord 13]

I've started worrying again.

Would it make a difference that the chairs at my school are solid material, like plastic, and the sperm would have just sat ON the chair instead of soaking in? Would that help the sperm live longer?

No. Not at all. Your sperm can not have reached anyone, anywhere. Just stop worrying. Maybe you should look into learning some basic sex ed, as that might help assuage your fears.

[guacamole24]

No. Not at all. Your sperm can not have reached anyone, anywhere. Just stop worrying. Maybe you should look into learning some basic sex ed, as that might help assuage your fears.

Thank you. I guess I'm sort of uneducated... abstinence only sexual education at my school.

[Sith Lord 13]

Thank you. I guess I'm sort of uneducated... abstinence only sexual education at my school.

Well, that's what the internet is for (If you're careful, make sure you find valid sites). Just look into it. Learn what you can. It should help you relax, and realize you got nothing to worry about.

[guacamole24]

Well, that's what the internet is for (If you're careful, make sure you find valid sites). Just look into it. Learn what you can. It should help you relax, and realize you got nothing to worry about.

Thank you very much. :)

[Sith Lord 13]

Thank you very much. :)

No problem. :)