Bad news....

[LiTTleBrok3nDolly]

I haven't cut myself yet at all, even though ive found my blades two days ago. But, since my bed is practically perfectly made, i will do it tonight cause i feel sick with feelings. i went to my therapist and i had a flashback, so, its creeping me out. To the point where if i think to hard, i shiver, not cold shiver but nervous paranoid shivering.

I know i shouldn't do it =( cutting that is. But, i dont know any other way of letting my emotional pain go-even my therapist is trying to find new ways for me, trust me i tired all the other ways in the book, punching pillow, ice cubs, rubber bands, and so on.
I am going to regret it in the morning, but i just need to let my terrible emotions out =( It sucks, but, im used to it. =(

[LiTTleBrok3nDolly]

I cut and i feel free. I look at my scars and start to regret. Then i wait for the scars to disappear, and do it again. Why can't i just stop? Its not easy, obviously, its not fun, no duh, i can't go by a week without an emotional overload. Which ends with cutting. Why not just cut my throat? Watch the blood dribble down my shirt and get dizzy then pass out and die, letting my liquid create a depressing pool of stupid blood. Why? Its not right to live off cutting. I might just swallow my razor. What difference would it make? Hell would still be hell. Heaven would still be heaven. You would just be reading these words. Just another thread. Of trying to live another day through crap. Well, hopefully i can......idk, live?

p.s. didnt mean to offend anyone by any means of VT

[starrburst]

...Right now, that seems like a good plan to you, right? Well...it's not. Think of your family, your friends, us! I have been through the loss of family and friends through suicide...Don't add to my list...I think to make it a week is such a great thing...i can't usally make that, keep holding on. Life will only get better, stopping doing this is a good place to start...
if you want a chat pm me xxx

[Aspiringanonymous]

Thread 'Bad news' and 'Let there be more to it' merged under the consideration that they were posted 10 minutes away from one another, deal with a similar issue, and have yet any extended replies.