The ultimate step

[cooldude123]

Hi :)

straight to the point really... i have been with my girlfriend for about 2 months and everything is fine and going strong. we have passed all the kissing, making out and all of that, so im guessing the next step is something like sex? i know its rather a big step and a big thing at my age, but im not stupid i know all about protection and everything. my girlfriend definately likes me enough as she texts me all the time and always likes drawing pictures of us together and things like tht. anyway, do you think it is right to be thinking this at my age and if thats fine, how would i find out if she's ready? we're both virgins and i wouldn't do anything she's uncomfortable with so dont worry about that ;)

thanks :)

[Kaius]

If you feel you're ready to take that step it may be a good idea to talk to your girlfriend first. It may be a good idea to work up to that sort of thing before doing so, but as long as you're both ready then just work on it. You don't have to take the next step just because you're feeling like you need to. Just take it slow and enjoy things.

[CuriousZach]

yeah, make sure you're both ready. and to be honest, i think 2 months is still too soon. me and my girlfriend did it the night before our 2 months and it was totally unexpected. we didnt regret or anythin but it does change a few things. some things good, some things bad.

so just make sure she's ready, mentally, physically and most importantly EMOTIONALLY.
make you're ready too ofcourse.

[cooldude123]

How would i find out if she is ready? Asking her outright would work but if it doesn't go well it would be really awkward... How could i find out?

Thanks for all the replies :)

[devilsheep]

My advice is don't force anything, and I know this may sound really adultish but you really aren't ready.

I had sex with my ex-girlfriend out of typical relationship expectations basically, and I can tell you that it isn't what its all cracked up to be. It was very uncomfortable and my heart was racing and I just couldn't calm myself, and I thought i was ready. It did get easier after that but all in all it was just sex, it was no love making. I am yet to experience making love which I think is true sex, but I know how it feels to want to have sex and stuff and it may get the best of you.

But I'll also advise you to work on stuff like fingering and oral sex before you jump right into sex, because unless you're somehow really confident going into it, you're probably gonna have an uncomfortable time and regret it.

Note I was 16 when i first had sex and your 14 so that also says alot.

[AutumnDae]

Why do feel the need to have sex? You're 14, if you think you "love" her, and she "loves" you, then why not wait?

No point in rushing things. You're 14, you have the rest of your life. 2 months is hardly enough time to be together in my opinion.

[Jess]

Why do feel the need to have sex? You're 14, if you think you "love" her, and she "loves" you, then why not wait?

No point in rushing things. You're 14, you have the rest of your life. 2 months is hardly enough time to be together in my opinion.

I agree. you don't need to do it now.

[Dog Desab]

just wait... sex doesnt have to be rushed, dont make the relationship based off of little steps that you are supposed to get to... it doesnt work like that, you have to learn about the person, understand when theyre uncomfortable, when theyre comfortable... how to love without being physical, start love mentally, then emotionally, then physically is how i go thru a relationship, sex doesnt fix relationships it can make it bad, also maybe you should at least be in the relationship for more than two months...