net dating/pros & cons

[Billy15]

ok, those that know me here know that we live in a very small homophobic town (and my parents are also homophobic and very strict and over protective) so my chances of ever having a irl bf is probably never going to happen, not while i live here anyways. (sigh) Even if I did meet someone who I really liked and he was also gay, I really couldnt take he chance of ever being outed (OMG) because that would be disaster.

so what about net dating? What are the pros and cons of meeting a beautiful boy online and having a net relationship with him? My parents wont let us have a cam so doing some of the things that some guys do (you know sexual stuff) I couldnt really do that either, so am i just doomed or what?

[Kaius]

Not all online relationships end badly, if you both have the time and commitment then go for it. Having to do sexual things is not a must in a relationship, so don't think you're required to do things like that just to keep a relationship going. As long as you enjoy being together despite the distance then its a reasonable choice if you have the patience.

[nick]

I've had 3 online bfs from vt, I dont have a webcam, that's not important if you find someone you love its enough to be able to talk, you can feel close to someone even when they are thousands of miles away.

It takes dedication to maintain an online relationship, its hard at times. You have to trust the other person and to allow them space. You cant expect them to spend every minute on msn with you or whatever, you both need some real life too. Its brought me great happiness and for me real love. Its also brought me heartbreak.

[Fruit_Tart.]

nick explains everything so concise and awesomely are most of the words from my mouth. :) i think that he has a great explaination. :D i've dated once online but the other person wasn't as commited and just sorta wanted the sexual stuff :/ which i know now is not nessecary at all... if you do find someone online then do what nick says and give 'em space and let them do their own thing.
its really awesome when you find someone that you relate to and can talk to whenever you really want. but you have to becareful with some people and know that SOME of 'em, not all, would want to take advatage of you, which has happened to me. :/ that's my little red warning sign. lol. :D hope you find someone that deserves to be with someone as nice and kind as you. ^_^

[Iron Man]

I think that internet relationships aren`t the same as real life ones. The person on the other end could be a 60 year old pedocreeper. It would only work if you met the person before, became great friends with them, they moved a long distance, and you used the internet to keep in touch.

[Kitty Purry]

Well i have a quiet a bit of knowledge on this subject lol:). If your going to date an online guy, its hard to find someone that actually cares about you. Many are just looking for sexual stuff. I've had 4 online BF's. I'd suggest you start the relationship off as friends. because jumping into it too quickly, you dont really know eachother that well. And if you if you ifnd a guy that trully loves you. He wont really care about the webcam issue. One thing i found an issue with dating someone from online is, you may start really loving that person. And it hurts that you cant go and see that person. :D and like everyone else said. Give the other person a little space. and They'll give you soem too:). hope i helped

[misery_business]

I don't like having internet relationships, you can't be right there with the person no matter how bad you want to be with them which leads to a broken heart, plus you can never be sure what their saying is true or they could pretend to be someone else as Skyler said the person on the other end could be a 60 year old pedocreeper.

[Fruit_Tart.]

I think that internet relationships aren`t the same as real life ones. The person on the other end could be a 60 year old pedocreeper.
lol. i also agree with this as well... :D that's why i dont have one anymore. :/ lmao! and not becuz he was 60 years old. i would sense that. :P

and rudeboy i also agree with his words. :) take it slow and have them as your friends first before you even want to do anything. otherwise it'd be weird... :/

[justalovestruckteen]

Never look for love,you won't find any

Just out of my experiance,
I tried looking for someone once,
but I never found the perfect one,
than out of nowhere I fell for my friend

What Im trying to say is,
love is unexpected, don't look for someone, let someone find you....

[Katrina]

Pros
1. It's convenient. You don't have to be looking your best to enjoy somebody's company. You can just hop online and swap texts live.

2. It's non-compelling. Just because you chat with some one in an net based dating site does not mean you're obliged to him or her already. Net based dating is a trial-and-error method of choosing the right partner you can share your life with.

3. You can select the best among the rest. Not similar to dating in the real world where the person you're seeing would most likely expect limitations, net based dating needs no such thing. You can speak with as many people as you want until you identify Mr. or Ms. Right.

4. Individuals can communicate themselves better, at least in the beginning, because of the secrecy provided by the internet.

5. Individuals do find true love via net based dating

Cons
1. Most of net based dating facilities charge association costs. There are free net based dating services, of course, but they are troubled with more hazards than their paid rivals.

2. There is no certain defense against abuse and dishonesty, the occurrence of which is made stronger given the mask of mystery rampant on the web.

3. You will be restricted to a person's written words in determining his or her characteristic. You won't be able to take a glimpse at the person, at any rate, not immediately. You won't be able to examine his or her facial articulation, his or her way of talking, and his or her gestures.

4. You will never be sure about the appearance of the person. Let's admit it, the majority of individuals still put a weight on physical looks. How can we be sure that the person at the other end of the internet cable is attractive enough for us? Photos? Photos can lie in this present day of lighting, angles, and Adobe Photoshop. We will never be sure unless we see them face to face.

In considering the pros and cons of online dating, I recommend you give it a go but go carefully.

[DanielBoy]

Well I have never had an online relationship, or a gay relationship for that matter, but I am sure most people online are at least initially in it just for the sexual stuff, which is not bad if that is what both are you are into, but I am sure it would hurt to find that you were wanting a real relationship while the other person just wanted to see you naked. I suggest taking it somewhat slow, get to know the person for a few weeks, and if they are stay interested, and seem to not only answer questions, but ask them, then they maybe looking for something more; you should also ask them too.

Addressing something someone else brought up, if you really start to make an emotional connection with the person, it will suck not being able to see, hug or kiss that person you have grown such an emotional bond with, but if the bond is strong enough, you two will be able to wait the few years until you can make the physical connection in addition to the emotional connection. Also, the longer you both wait, the stronger the love becomes, there is no instant gratification in a relationship, there is allot of work, but keep it going.

Here is another thought, don't get your hopes too high, some people will use you as a side liner, which is a load of shit. I personally am a very attached person, when I make a connection with a person, I tend to be very close with them; when it comes to relationships, I am the same way, and I cannot justify cheating on somebody like that; this is not to say someone else would conduct them selfs the same way.

When you feel like you know the person well enough to take the next leap, go for it, but use YOUR best judgment, it is usually right! Good luck.

[Sage]

Con: Usually fails.

[Antares]

Pro- Easy to find someone. Easy to keep in touch. Easy to allege an actual relationship is occuring.

Con- You don't REALLY know the person. You don't have a relationship that is traditional. You lack a physical connection which can be an important point to any relationship.

And in my personal opinion:
Its just an excuse for people to fill a void...whatever that void is.
I think it should be avoided unless the people intend on meeting right away. (So the difference between online relationships, and finding eachother online)

[Babobobo]

Online dating could lead to horrible things, possibly hacking into your computer at some point. Be wise, and maybe wait. Talk to a counselor about your problem is what I would do. Your parents should like you for who you are, and if they don't then they aren't very good people.

[Alfred Pennyworth]

I tend to shy away from online relationships, because I've had some, and yes, you may find someone who is the absolute cutest person in the world, and you'll feel that connection. and the thing that i hate about it is how much it can hurt. Yes, you will have lots of very fun times with that person, but when something goes wrong in their life or yours, the pain of not being able to hold that person tightly so that they can forget about what's going on and just feel loved hurts more than anything. and personally, the breakups are worse than in real life, because in real life, you've met that person, and got to know them a fair amount, yet in an online relationship, you're looking forward to meeting them more and more as the time goes on. and when you break up, all that hope, all those dreams of meeting up with the person you've fallen so madly in love with, are crushed into oblivion. I've felt that twice, and i'm never going to risk it again. So my advice is to try it if you think it will work, but be careful, because you may truly find your sole mate, but beware, there are many people out there who will break your heart.

[cooldude123]

If i were you, wait until you find love in the real world.

I waited a long time but kept my hopes up and then i met my girlfriend and it's like a dream come true. No internet relationship can ever compare to that.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck :)

[The Joker]

I've had 3 online bfs from vt, I dont have a webcam, that's not important if you find someone you love its enough to be able to talk, you can feel close to someone even when they are thousands of miles away.

It takes dedication to maintain an online relationship, its hard at times. You have to trust the other person and to allow them space. You cant expect them to spend every minute on msn with you or whatever, you both need some real life too. Its brought me great happiness and for me real love. Its also brought me heartbreak.

I agree with Nick.

The toughest part is the distance, not being able to see the other person.

[lindsay_summer]

i never dated somebody online and i thought i never would. but i meet this guy on a video chat site for students, [content removed] 2-3 weeks ago and we've been talking every couple of days since then. he even asked me out and i said yes. i don't think you can have an online relationship with somebody... it's awkward. like with this guy. i wasn't searching for anything, but i met him, we instantly clicked and now i'm really curious to meet him.

[Thylacine]

I've gotta say Billy that yeah go ahead get to know people but I would hesitate at getting so attached to someone you will never meet. Also there are a lot of people out there who will just try to take advantage of you. And I would be very careful doing sexual things over the internet because its technically illegal. Sorry if this sounds like a rant but I just think making friends is ok (I've made a few e.g Max in Germany, Greg in Canada and Cruz en Espana) but I think its a step too far to have an internet relationship that can never eventuate into anything permenant (in most cases). Cheers.

[PJay]

Liam said some of what i was going to but i'll just add my bit : if you hook up in real life and it works (distance, looks, chemistry and everyting) then great. But i've a girl friend who sez they have bf and they live in a different country ffs. They never met, there is som stuff that makes me suspicious about this guy too and it makes me sad and angry for her that she kind of is in this fantasy world about this guy who might not even be real, and i kind of think she's wasting her life tbh.
So yes find someone who is near enough you can keep a real life thing going with but dont waste your life on something fake.