It's not enough...

[whodunit]

Some days I feel that it is not enough... I may enjoy the sight of my blood and the scabbing but it just feels empty. It needs more substance, something bigger. I almost don't care if people start to see. I want to do it in the good places, it is very little that is holding me back now. Just a glimmer of hope. I need some advice.

[SneakBrain]

interesting! its look like you kind of lost, just control at your self and try to think twice if you think you doing something stupid or count to ten before saying or doing the wrong thing. If you need me you can just pm me and i'll be there to help you

[whodunit]

It will not allow me to pm.

[myskias]

hey are you basically saying that cutting isnt providing you with the.... help it used to?

[whodunit]

It does more than anything else. I still really, really like it. It's a bit of an obsession. I just feel it is not giving me the satisfaction, I feel i should cut deeper but if you are not going to go all the way I don't really see the point in creating a big scare. It just can't supply the sufficient pain. I want more today....

[myskias]

why do you cut? what makes you feel the need to cut?

[whodunit]

I feel like I am in the wrong as a human being. I feel different, I personally believe different is good, but it is not that kind of different. I'm just wrong. I shouldn't be. I'm a mistake and failure as a person.

[myskias]

im going to PM you. i understand you cant reply but i want you to do what i tell you to ok :) il help you out

[dosyedafzal]

im going to PM you. i understand you cant reply but i want you to do what i tell you to ok :) il help you out

I agree with you

[Aceso]

Hi, welcome to VT :)

I agree with you, sometimes I get that feeling too. Mostly recently. I have started to burn and purge and wrist bang, but trust me, its a horrible route to go down. I find it harder to cope with everything than just cutting, and Im starting to see sense.
I would suggest thinking it through, maybe doing something that wont do any damage to yourself, like just holding the blade, and really thinking deeply. Is this what you really want? Tearing and ripping your skin, scarring it and burning it, and smash it? I HATE the mistake of starting other things now, and when I look back, I realise I was foolish to go down that route. Im not telling you to start or stop, simply think about it all... Good luck, and feel free to contact me via my page with visitor comments untill you can PM me, I will always be around if you need help! :)