being happy

[Billy15]

i dont know if this is the right place for this (sorry) but i would think that maybe this has a lot to do with puberty and being accepted idk.

where we live our parents are very strict and my little bro and i dont get a lot of privacy on the net. they dont know that i am gay (I sure hope they dont) and most people around here are homophobic so i can never be myself and that makes me real unhappy and makes me feel like i'll never be happy irl.

here at vt i have lots of friends and i am soooooooo grateful for that because here is the only place that i can be myself. my question is lol, a few of them are very very cute and are soooooo nice to me and since that really all i have, im becomming real attached to some of them emotionally and i was wondering if that is normal or healthy since i'll probably never meet them and since they live so far away? we also arent allowed to have a cam so the chances of me every really seeing them (even that way) is very very slim so is it healthy for a kid to have fantasies about boys that they'll never really meet or touch or kiss or anything?

[beedubs]

yea its fine. you never know one day you might really meet some people. i know someone from here who had afew bfs from vt, and never met them. if you feel attracted to them why dont you tell them?

[Billy15]

truth lol because i am shy and because i am scared they wont feel the same and i know that is crazy but thats the way ive always been and doubt ill change anytime soon but i wish i could. thanks for the cool reply bri

[nick]

I'm not so different to you, I dont feel that I couldnt come out but just that I dont want to or that there is no real benefit to it. But I have become very close to several people during my time on vt, all except one very many miles away and in different time zones. I cant speak for other people, but I know that I can feel real love in those circumstances and that I do. Is it healthy, idk, it helps me, but then for me its not just a game, its real. If he reads this he will know who he is and I love him, just as much as if he lived next door.

Billy, do what feels right for you and dont worry about it.

[beedubs]

np billy, here for you anytime. i personaly know that i have became very close to some people. it feels good to know that people in other places care for you.

[MisterE]

i feel the same way alot man :/ aside the fact that idk if im bi or not, iv met a few rlly awsome people on here, and one of them i rlly like, it kinda hurts sometimes that uv met someone so awsome but u never get to meet them, i think its healthy for anyone to like someone emotionaly anytime, in person or over the web, the unhealthey part might be mental, in the fact that you might never get to meet these people you like so much :/

[CaliKid24]

its normal. but yea ur situation sucks.

[Richi07]

Well, I'm a straight guy but I think I understand what you say. I mean, i know this girl from England (I live in Costa Rica) and we both like each other but, you know, we live so far away... We have a whole ocean in the middle... It makes me feel sad... :'(

[Thylacine]

I know what you mean I wish people in real life were as nice and as accepting as people on here.

[Billy15]

the cool thing about the net and places like vt is that we can be ourselves, can open up, can reach out to others without the fear of our friends, class mates or our parents finding out and irl (even if I were to like someone that lives here) i would be so scared to ever let him know how i feel for obvious reasons and that sucks big time.

for me, im beginning to wonder if the net (liking someone, getting close to someone, maybe even bf's) isnt better then nothing because irl it might never happen because we have to put on these fronts.

[Mythical]

I love VT, its my home away from reality. If I ever need a place to let loose, this is where I go to be myself

[curiousteen]

Its seems that everyone knows how u feel even me. The people I've talked to when i joined were real nice and understanding and some them would be physically and emotionally atracttive to me and i would be to them. Some lived on the opposite coast so it was hard to talk to them. But it helps when i do find time to talk we would talk about anything. But i meet new ppl all the time and when i do attracted to them somehow its hard to tell them and i sumtimes feel stupid to lol telling them and wondering if they fill the same way. i honestly wouldnt mind meeting someone else really.

[MrMan]

I feel just like you and was wondering about the same things many times

[Billy15]

good lol because it awesome to know that im not alone and others feel the same way. thanks guys

[lil emo boy]

I feel da exact same way.

[Break]

It really sucks huh? I mean life... lol. Think of all the emotionless kids out there with webcams that never use them (like me, just kidding) ... well I am not emotionless, but I almost NEVER use my webcam... Eh I don't really know where I am going with this...

Don't worry. Soon you will grow up and have all the independence you have ever wanted. Enjoy some time with your parents, you will wish you had more time with them later on in life.

[TheFame]

One day you will be honest, and you family will love you for it.

Lets get honest tho. People will look at you differently and feel uncomfortable around you which is about the stupidest thing ever.

Im actually a freak. My mind, my thoughts, theyre not normal. Their somewhat crazy but if put my thoughts out in public its art. I disguise it to fit in but i know when i start my Performance Musician Artist career i know thats where i can express myself and call it art. My world is expressed in art, everything for me is art, i love art more than my mother, and i rather kill myself if i couldnt make art. Its so beautiful i can almost just cry expressing my love for outrageous art.

You need to find a space where you can be yourself. Somewhere you can love and feel loved. Whether it be a town or a group.

Goodluck (:

[AwesomeAussie]

Yeah its totally fine lots of people go through the same thing

[curious guy]

Wow that sucks. I'm sorry

[Chris95]

In this "era", if you will, it's more and more common to have friends and boy/girlfriends over the internet. I have social anxiety disorder, so I can't really make friends in day to day life, so all of my social interaction takes place over the internet, where it's easier for me. So it's perfectly normal, especially since you feel you're rejected in society, to have friends and to be attracted to people you meet through the internet. Though, you need to practice internet safety, because for all you know, you're talking to a 40 year old perv in his mother's basement.

[zander]

billy , though i have a friend and we fool around i feel the same way. my parents are way strict. in fact my dad is a pastor and if he knew i was gay i know he would still love me but i would gett a lot of guilt and stuff. i cant have a camera either and have been told to never post a pic though i have sent one to one friend that is in ireland that i trust. i think the net is cool cus it allow us to talk and be ourselves without judgment. i wish the rel world was that way