Convinced i'm ugly!

[steve1234]

Well, im convinced i'm ugly. I know a lot of teenagers don't like the way they look, but i'm completley convinced and I can't stop.

It may just be paranoia, but every day someone gives me a funny look as if to say "ergh, is that a human?". I know it could be paranoia, but It really seems like loads of people give me strange looks.

I've been trying so hard for the past 5 years to convince myself I am not ugly. I keep trying to change my life, for example saying to myself "right, this week, i'm going to change myself and just be confident" . This works for a few days, but then I just go back to my depressed self again thinking i'm ugly. If there are ever moments where I need to boost my confidence (like presentations, meetings, talking to the girl I like), I just say things to myself like "you can do" or " it doesn't matter what other people think". This does work a bit, but not permanently.

My parents and family do say that i'm good looking, but can I really believe them? They would be pretty shit parents if they said I was bad looking or ugly, so ho can i tell if they are bullshitting?
I could ask someone who doesn't like me how I look, but they could just say i'm ugly just to be horrible.

I just feel so ugly. If ever i see a 'not so good looking' person walking past, I think to myself "thats what you look like". I know that sounds horrible, but i can't help it.

This is really getting me down, and is one of the reasons why I don't have any confidence. Any advice to what I can do? Thanks :)

[Aspiringanonymous]

I know what it feels like to be uncomfortable with one's appearance - the problem is that there's no escape from it, so long as one inhabits this body. Small things can be changed here and there, used to enhance or act as a strong feature of one's look and simultaneously minimize what is seen as a weak point, but it won't much affect the fundamental belief. Neither will any amount of compliments and affirmations.

I grew up asking myself the question, why does appearance matter? Why do aspects which the individual has no control whatsoever over, matter? It seems as if we do get too caught up in surface, external factors, albeit inevitably, but the consciousness of the absurdity of it all was always present to some degree. I reasoned with myself in attempt to justify the low self-esteem, but was never successful.

Since this belief cannot be justified, it should not be taken for granted, and deserves a critical perspective - have you ever tried getting to the bottom of just how this issue came to bother you so much? Sure, everyone is prone to being a bit self-conscious here and there, but what exactly caused it to manifest so strongly in you? Only when the dynamics behind the experience becomes clear, can there be a definitive strategy to challenge it. Not everything can be permanently rid of, especially when it is deeply-rooted; at the very least, it is certainly possible to reach a point where you won't be troubled by it for the vast majority of time.

How I coped for most years was to project my consciousness away from humanity and human society, basically everything that could remind me of the inferiority of my physical being. Nature, in particular, became a great source of comfort - here was something that would never judge anyone, no matter what they were on the outside, and for that matter, even inside. My acquaintance with the world of balance taught me that even if their perceived accusations were true, which they are not, that too is okay - for the positive is dependent upon the negative to exist. "I am worthless so that they may be worth-ful. I am ugly so that they may remain pretty. Therefore, I am not at all lower than them, in fact I am more honorable for I have seen through their fallacy."

Try to divert your attention away from this inner chaos as much as possible - feeding it won't lead you anywhere productive. On the other hand, if there can be a state of being somewhere that can offer you space to breathe and think, perhaps it will hold the key to acquiring the clarity and insight necessary to break through.

All the best to you. :hug3:

[steve1234]

Krezlyn, thanks so much for the reply. You're always really helpful.

[Filipe]

Dude... Beauty is what people call the things that please them...
You got 3 options the way I see it...

1- Feel sorry for yourself...

2- Go out and think to yourself "I'm one big ugly ass mofo" and earn respect that way.

3- Go out and instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to your old self.
eg. Man I look better today, my hair's cool today.

Since 2 and 3 don't make any sense at all.. You only have one left...

Learn to love yourself.. If you don't.. How do you expect others to love you?

Anything, just ask... I'm here if you need me...

Take Care, bro

[steve1234]

Dude... Beauty is what people call the things that please them...
You got 3 options the way I see it...

1- Feel sorry for yourself...

2- Go out and think to yourself "I'm one big ugly ass mofo" and earn respect that way.

3- Go out and instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to your old self.
eg. Man I look better today, my hair's cool today.

Since 2 and 3 don't make any sense at all.. You only have one left...

Learn to love yourself.. If you don't.. How do you expect others to love you?

Anything, just ask... I'm here if you need me...

Take Care, bro

Thanks very much for the reply :)

Options 1 and 2 are easy options, and I often find myself doing this.

I do sometimes try option 3, but its easier said than done. These past few days i'm really trying option 3, so hopefully one day I will stop worrying about my appearence so much.

[Nick O]

Thanks very much for the reply :)

Options 1 and 2 are easy options, and I often find myself doing this.

I do sometimes try option 3, but its easier said than done. These past few days i'm really trying option 3, so hopefully one day I will stop worrying about my appearence so much.

If some girls ever give you a hard time about your looks, tell them to screw off, they aren't for you. I don't mind my appearance, people might judge you, but the true friends/love won't care and/or think you are beautiful.;)

[TheFame]

Dont feel bad. My sister well...wasnt the most appealing thing ever in highschool. Ill be honest she was probably the least prittiest girl in her whole grade. She was the quiet girl that got bullied for her looks and it tramuatized her so she was so quiet

Now she grown up, her looks changed, she changed her hair and style and makup. Shes even preitter than most of her friends all my guy friends think shes hot, and all my girl friends think shes so pretty,

So what im saying is, just give it time and think of ways to make yourself better instead of thinking you look ugly.

Im sorry im not very good with this type of advice :S

[Fruit_Tart.]

i dont believe in ugliness, but only on myself. :/ or ugliness in how people do things and feel against things but never on looks. i know you've prolly heard this tons of times but it truely doesn't count what's on the outside, that's just a shell that shows nothing but appearance that people judge too fast upon. it counts what is on the inside and what people think of you as a person and how you act as a human being. so never think your ugly unless you are truely ugly in the inside as well with hatred and ugly thoughts. sorry if this is no help. :( but smile everyday and think positive about yourself and never lose confidence in yourself. :)

[biboy96]

Well, im convinced i'm ugly. I know a lot of teenagers don't like the way they look, but i'm completley convinced and I can't stop.

It may just be paranoia, but every day someone gives me a funny look as if to say "ergh, is that a human?". I know it could be paranoia, but It really seems like loads of people give me strange looks.

I've been trying so hard for the past 5 years to convince myself I am not ugly. I keep trying to change my life, for example saying to myself "right, this week, i'm going to change myself and just be confident" . This works for a few days, but then I just go back to my depressed self again thinking i'm ugly. If there are ever moments where I need to boost my confidence (like presentations, meetings, talking to the girl I like), I just say things to myself like "you can do" or " it doesn't matter what other people think". This does work a bit, but not permanently.

My parents and family do say that i'm good looking, but can I really believe them? They would be pretty shit parents if they said I was bad looking or ugly, so ho can i tell if they are bullshitting?
I could ask someone who doesn't like me how I look, but they could just say i'm ugly just to be horrible.

I just feel so ugly. If ever i see a 'not so good looking' person walking past, I think to myself "thats what you look like". I know that sounds horrible, but i can't help it.

This is really getting me down, and is one of the reasons why I don't have any confidence. Any advice to what I can do? Thanks :)

Look at my avatar... Will make you feel better... You're definetly not as ugly as I am...

[Fruit_Tart.]

^^you are not ugly.

[biboy96]

*confused*
me or the thread-starter?

[TheFame]

you! and hes right

[biboy96]

no... I get it from the girls all the time... "You look like a pig" and many similar remarks.

[Paladino]

Nobody is ugly, everyone is good looking in there own way.

[Fruit_Tart.]

no... I get it from the girls all the time... "You look like a pig" and many similar remarks.
nope. your not ugly. trust me. :) but you do need a hair style. ^_^ i wish i could fix it. lol. im obsessed with hair! :D

[biboy96]

I have a new hairstyle :P
That was in my "black hair" period :P

[Fruit_Tart.]

lmao! thats good. anyways, we should really leave this thread. were ruining it. :/ sorry!

[Katrina]

First off, no one is ever really ugly. It is all in how one perceives another. I believe that if you have low self esteem and you do want to do something to make yourself feel better. Find your weaknesses and start working on them, take a walk, meditate, make a work out schedule....anything can help you feel better about yourself. It just starts with you. Wake up every morning and look in the mirror and repeat 10 times "I AM NOT UGLY"....it may sound funny but trust me after a while you start believing and knowing it!
If you feel ugly, it might be an incorrect viewpoint of yourself. What you really are is what kind of person you are on the inside. If you are petty, cruel and mean-spirited, then you have the right to feel ugly.

[Fruit_Tart.]

hehe... i was gonna say that too but i thought i'd word it wrong. :/ great advice! ^_^

[Triceratops]

Dont feel bad. My sister well...wasnt the most appealing thing ever in highschool. Ill be honest she was probably the least prittiest girl in her whole grade. She was the quiet girl that got bullied for her looks and it tramuatized her so she was so quiet

Now she grown up, her looks changed, she changed her hair and style and makup. Shes even preitter than most of her friends all my guy friends think shes hot, and all my girl friends think shes so pretty.

This is so true. Well, I don't know your sister, but I believe things like that can happen a lot. For instance, my mom was chubby and looked awful when she was my age, and she always got bullied for her unfortunate appearance. Her face was covered in puppy fat, she had terrible skin, she was stumpy, she had a goofy smile, and she had the most ridiculous bowl haircut. However, when she got to about 18 or 19, her looks drastically changed. I'm not talking some minor adjustments here, I'm talking about a MASSIVE difference. She went clubbing a lot; there, all the guys would fancy her, and all the girls would envy her. She had extremely long dark hair, a slim figure, tanned skin and blue eyes. She still does now, actually, and she's nearly 40. It's hereditary in our family to age stupidly slow.

Hang in there, and work with what you've got. I can definitely understand how you feel, because I experience what you're feeling more than I'd want to.

[Brandon16]

im in the same boat people say im good looking but my cousins and brother and stuff like that i feel look way better than me they have vetter bodies better teeth just better i feel like a misplaced troll='(