Two Different Lives?

[minko401]

This isn't really a total crisis, but I feel that it is something that I would like to share and this seems like the most fitting forum for it.

A while back I started a Youtube channel where I played through Pokemon games. I have always been a big fan of Pokemon and have played all the games, and my love for the games keeps on growing. Well, my little Youtube channel grew and grew over the past year, and currently I have about 2500 subscribers. I love making Pokemon walkthroughs and videos, and I feel that I have learned many things and met great people through Youtube.

However, none of my "real life" friends know I make these videos or play Pokemon for that matter. When I started up the channel, I felt that this was okay and that I could keep these two very different parts of my life separate. Alas, I feel the two different parts taking a toll on me mentally, and I feel that living with this separation is mentally taxing to me. I would like to be totally honest with my "real life" friends about how I spend much of my free time and share more of my personality with my Youtube viewers without the fear of being identified by one of my "real life" friends.

By this point, you're probably thinking, "Just tell your friends! If they are truly your friends, they'll accept you!" I would love to think that they would accept me, but I'm just not sure. I guess I'm part of a group of people who enjoys partying more than video games and Pokemon, so I feel that it is looked down upon. I also do not want to be shunned by my friends just because of this Youtube thing because I like where I am socially. I do not want to change that, but I do want to "synchronize" my life.

I don't just lie to my "real life" friends, however. I tell my viewers and peers on Youtube all sorts of things that have not happened to me, and I have pretty much invented a character to represent my real life self to my viewers and peers. I feel that this was done partially to boost my ego but more for personal safety and to hide my true identity.

Of course, it is entirely possible that they will not give two cents and that life will not change at all. I most likely am drastically overthinking this. Still, I would like some peace of mind.

[bmurdock60]

I feel like i have two separate lives as well at times so i know where you are coming from. Keep up with the youtube thing as your character make sure it isn't to out there but it is a good idea to keep your real identity hidden and that is perfectly fine. Then i am sure you you could tell a couple of friends i have friends and we don't go around saying we play pokemone games still but we know so you don't have to tell all your real friends just the ones you trust. that is what i would do because i agree to different lifestyles can be very difficult at times. When you tell them also you don't have to tell them exaclty how much time and how much you still play you can start by casually saying i like playing the pokemon games then eventaully go to the youtbue thing

[Heretic]

People act differently to accommodate different situations, people, and settings. Just make sure you have some time to yourself to find out who you really are. I have about four different lives but one is more real than the others, it's when I'm around one certain friend or alone by myself. Just don't get too caught up in Pokemon that you forget who you really are.

[steve1234]

minko401, there are a lot of people who have 'seperate lives', so its nothing strange.

This includes me. This sounds like a strange hobby to have, but I live near London and I am interested in London Buses and the Underground etc. I didn't ask to have this hobby, its just something I have always been interested in. Everyone has a hobby I suppose.
I regularly go up to London to ride around on the trains and buses, and do lots of stuff on the internet related to it. None of my friends (except my close friends) know about this, and I don't want to tell them. It's not exactly a common hobby, which is why my friends wouldn't understand. They bitch about anyone who is slightly different.

If you have any close friends, you should maybe tell them your interests, and see how they react. Most likely they wont really care about it. Telling your close friends might make you more comfortable with sharing it with other people.

[Syvelocin]

What my psychologist said to do (though I have a different version of "two different lives" than you do) is to not split your personality off as much. Take the pieces you like of the different lives and put them together into one personality. The more you split, the more you'll lose yourself.

Hope that helps at all :/