bermusia
July 7th, 2010, 02:27 AM
for the past 3 years ive been scared to leave my house i was very much involved in the grafitti sean then i got raided by police in the same day alot of other people did the word went around i had snitched which i hadnt but it sent me into extreme agraphobia i never leave my house only for very important reasons coz of the amount of people who wanted my head my next door neighbours hate me and my mum so its really hard to go out when people hate u when u live less then 20 metres away it has also made me very angry i have constant outbursts generally at my mum and sometimes friends a couple of weeks ago i was very angry at my mum coz she couldnt take to a meeting (i hate catching buses u dont know who can be on them) i got really angry at her and she left about 10 min later she called the cops when the cops came i grabbed a knife and told them to go after 3 hours of barricading myself in my room i lunged at one and got tazered i have court 2 moro but they said i wont get jail time just comm service or a fine im constantly playing video games it seems there the only thing that im good at im seriously considering giving up on life (im not going to kill myself but im scared im going to kill others) i dont know what to do i cant stop being angry i look up serial killers spree killers on the internet all the time i know most of the people reading this think im probly some psycho maniac whos gonna end up in jail to be honest i think thats whats going to happen ive tried going to councellers i can never open up to any of them im am completely lost if any1 could give an opinion or try and help would be realy appreciated