Why I joined

[Chris_Likes_Drums]

Hey all,
Well I'm new to VT and wouldnt have found it if it wasnt for my best friend in Real Life, who is also on VT (Kitty)

Well I started cutting 2 years ago, but I never cut oftern, just as a kind of "last Resort" and the very first time I started I did it thinking it would kill me cause I cut my wrists... But I was extreamly stupid back then.

Year on (last September) my longest term relationship (7 months) ended and I found myself depressed and lonly because I left most of my friends to be with her all the time. Then one day (4 days before my birthday - great timeing...) She decided she no longer loved me and broke up with me. This got me Depressed, and on my actual Birthday I cut myself for the 2nd time in my life. then Over the next few months of trying to get over her, I cut several times, never anything major, unlike 1st two times where I would be covered in blood..

Then recantly (few weeks ago) I cut again due to strong urges, the feeling of worthlessness, stress and pressure to do what is out of my reach.. and then my best friend hating me over telling my girlfriend at the time that she cut when I was asked why I talked so much to her. Then I ended up cutting for the 1st time in months.. Then about a week later my, now ex, broke up with me. This took a few days to sink in, and I lost the will to do things I normaly enjoy doing, such as drumming and going out.

And now recantly I have wanted to cut more regualarly, and I am getting scared that I soon wont be able to stop and also that my parents might find out becuase they have never seen any opf my cuts and havent a clue

Just talking about this has helped, but every time I see my ex I want to cry because I still love her and want her back.
Any tips or suggestions? or just general thoughts on the topic.

Thanks Chris (Drummer-CJ)

Just to add as a little footnote...

With not cutting in a week, it makes it that Every time I see my ex, Jess, I want to cry and then cut as a kind of reliece... and the urge is getting so frequent.. and I'm getting closer and closer to cutting every time..

[Fiction]

Yeah sorry about that... :( Hug xx

[Chris_Likes_Drums]

It's Okay, when I first heard it was cause of my cuts that she broke up.. I kinda resented you .. but I know now It would have happened eventually anyway...

[Malcolm Tucker]

Chris,

first let me preface this by saying that no one deserves anything that has happened to you. But listen, what has happened has happened. It's in the past. Cutting won't change that, and I know you know that. Cutting will not serve you well and you know that. You need to find another way of getting the depression out without harming yourself. Do as I suggested, and play drums and mime it when you can't. It will do you a world of good.

You have an amazing friend in Kathy, and you talk to her when you feel the urges coming. It will help more than you know. You can talk to me too, I promise. My contact details are all on my profile.

Stay strong, put everything behind you and work to stop cutting. I promise you, you are strong enough to quit. Everyone is.

:hug:

[Chris_Likes_Drums]

Thanks,
I think I'll get rid of my blades tomorro... I need to, so I have less chance of relapsing.

[Fiction]

:D Well done :) xxxxxxxxxx

[enjoying_my_insanity]

i know ive nvr met you but i read what you posted and good job on getting rid of the blades! i wish you the best of luck in recovering! *hugggg*

[Chris_Likes_Drums]

Thanks :)