Close to suicide?

[steve1234]

Recently, I have been thinking about suicide as you may have seen in some of my older posts, but today I went a step further, and I am getting close to suicide.

I felt low yesterday, so I decided to go down to the train station to jump in front of a train. I wasn't going anywhere, and that was the only reason I wanted to go to the train station. I stood on the platform, but I just couldn't do it. I dont think I was actually going to do it, but ive never been this close to suicide ever!
Today, I have been thinking about suicide ALL DAY long. Recently, I have been thinking about it every day, but not ALL day! I seem to be desperate to just end my life, but I just can't do it to my family. Thinking about how they'd react once they found out I killed myself I just can't bear to think about.

I just feel incredibly selfish that I would actually consider suicide. I have never really thought about other people, just myself. Does such a selfish person deserve to live? Im just so selfish.

Im incredibly worried about what I going to do. My head is all over the place.

Is there anything I can do??

Sorry if this has been depressing to read, but I just needed to write it down and get some advice.

Thanks :)

[ForgetMeNot]

As over used as this saying is, Suicide is never the answer. It sounds like you really need a good pull back. The real question is what's missing in your life to make you feel this down?

If your depression is hurting you that badly, you should really think about going to a Doctor, there is so much more potentional in us then, just try and go see some help and slowly but surly you will become happier and not as reliant on these suicidal thoughts.

There are always people here to talk<3

[steve1234]

ForgetMeNot, thanks very much for replying. Im very grateful!

Loads of people say you should just be positive, but its not as simple as that. Im trying so hard, and I just don't think I can get better on my own. I really need to tell someone, like you have said.

Before I go and see someone, I think I need to tell my parents. But, I feel as selfish as killing myself by bringing them into it. I can just imagine me telling them, and them just getting really upset, or even angry.
What can I do to tell them?

[devilsheep]

ForgetMeNot, thanks very much for replying. Im very grateful!

Loads of people say you should just be positive, but its not as simple as that. Im trying so hard, and I just don't think I can get better on my own. I really need to tell someone, like you have said.

Before I go and see someone, I think I need to tell my parents. But, I feel as selfish as killing myself by bringing them into it. I can just imagine me telling them, and them just getting really upset, or even angry.
What can I do to tell them?

Id say just be yourself and look sad around them and if they ask whats wrong, just be really genuine and say you gotta talk to them about stuff. Explain how you don't know whats going on but you just feel like ending your life and say you want to go see a therapist, theres no way they can get angry at you for that.

[enjoying_my_insanity]

or you could tell a close friend who is an adult or even a close teenage friend and have them help you talk to your parents
and remember suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem even if the problem doesnt seem temporary it is and things will get better you just need some help...i hope this helps you! :)

[starrburst]

Ok, You may take your life if you wish...But don't do it by jumping infront of a train..seriously,think how you'd feel if you were the driver...or a passenger...it ruins there lives too...Not to mention your family...Just think

I'm kind of planning to commit suicide soon...I cannot take it...Good luck :]

[Kaius]

ForgetMeNot, thanks very much for replying. Im very grateful!

Loads of people say you should just be positive, but its not as simple as that. Im trying so hard, and I just don't think I can get better on my own. I really need to tell someone, like you have said.

Before I go and see someone, I think I need to tell my parents. But, I feel as selfish as killing myself by bringing them into it. I can just imagine me telling them, and them just getting really upset, or even angry.
What can I do to tell them?

Steve, a lot of us on this site have been where you are and we're prepared to help you whenever you feel you need it, all you need to do is ask. As for telling your parents I think its a step in the right direction. The best thing to do is sit them down together and just go through things with them and how its making you feel. I don't know your parents so I don't know how they'll react but i think the priority here is that you let someone know how much you're going through at the moment. You could also write everything down on a piece of paper and give it to them to read through, so you know although you don't have to say it, they know you need some sort of help and support from them and/or possibly from another such as a counsellor. It's not a selfish action at all, parents are there to support you, and this is a time where you need that support more than ever. Good luck and don't hesitate to contact me if you need to talk about anything.

[nick]

Steve, I agree completely with what Kaius has said above, you are welcome to contact me if you'd like another person to talk to. You know we're all selfish in some way or other, that's just human nature.

[Nick O]

Life gives you total crap all the time, and you fell like there is no escape, suicide may feel like the only option. If you suicide, and there is a heaven, you look back for ever, and realize what you've done. You only age, live, love, enjoy, and die once. You have lived at most 1/5 of your life so far, and it can only get better. Just think, maybe 3 to 7 years, you can have a family, and you can have your own kids. And what if they get in this situation, and think of suicide, you can be there to tell them it only gets better. They will listen, and you will be proud you didn't end it early.