It Doesn't Make Sense...

[ForgetMeNot]

I was raped twice by my boyfriend and abused... but I shrugged it off like it doesn't matter.

I go on like it never happened and it doesn't bug me, does it really not bug me....

I'm so confused, it SHOULD bug me that it happened... but I just moved on like it never happened or that it was normal.

[Sith Lord 13]

Hi Gabrielle.

It's possible it really doesn't bother you. That you were able to deal and work through it while it was happening. The other possibility is that your mind has pushed it away.That you're not ready to deal with it, so you're mind has decided to not let you feel it. I actually have some first-hand experience with this. For years I thought I was over the fact my dad left before I was old enough to know him. It's only recently that I started to realize that I wasn't. The human mind is good at holding things back from us.

My suggestion is to not worry about it. If you still have baggage from it, you'll deal with it in time, when you're ready to.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to VM me.

[ForgetMeNot]

Thank you Alex, it was well said and I can believe what you saying. It sounds like something normal we (people) do a lot.

[Sith Lord 13]

It is, and I'm always happy to help. :)

It's rough out there in the world. You have to make it through however you can. I hope you can find as much strength and support here on VT as I have.

[nick]

Hi Gabrielle,

I'm sorry that you have had those experiences, being your boyfriend does not give a guy the right to rape and abuse you and I certainly hope is not normal. I hope too that he is not still your boyfriend because, although its good if you feel you have been able to move on from it mentally, I dont like to think of you being caught up in an abusive relationship. You may also want to consider whether his behaviour makes him a risk to other people and whether ultimately that means that he has to be stopped.

[ForgetMeNot]

We're still together but all we do is fight, but I know if he could just get help things would get better. I'm trying to stop him with my own power, because he'll listen to me. I don't know, this is a just a screwed up little world I have.

[Sith Lord 13]

What is your relationship dynamic like now?

Is he still being abusive?

[ForgetMeNot]

Not not really, he's only abusive when he gets really really mad like I frustrate him beyond belief, right now we're fighting on and off. It's confusing, and I tried to tell my psychiatrist that he's not a bad guy, but idk if she believes me or not.

[Sith Lord 13]

Well the thing is that most people who are abusive are just good at convincing those they abuse that they deserve it. You never deserve to be hit. Physical violence in any kind of relationship is not acceptable. He needs to learn to control himself and that hitting you is not acceptable, under any circumstances.

[TheSnowCat]

I'm really sorry that you have had to experience being in that sort of situation! No one deserves to be treated badly or abused & judging by past experiences.... people like that "usually" don't change. Like was stated above, many times people like that try to make you think that you're not being abused or that you deserved it. That is NOT true!

Honestly.... it sounds to me like you should really sit down & take some time to think things through. Ask yourself, is this really the type of relationship you want to be in? Is your boyfriend the type of guy you really want to be with? Do you see yourself having a long term relationship with this man, the way he is now? If the answer to any of those questions is no.... I really think you should consider finding a new boyfriend. Being in a relationship doesn't have to hurt, it shouldn't. Is there someone close that you can talk to about this? Like a really good friend or family member? Sometimes the people we're closest to can offer some really good advice & be very helpful.

I wish you the very best of luck!