Weight Problems

[Kamikaze250391]

I don't know where to start really, and I am not sure if this is really an eating disorder or a mental problem. But for as long as I can remember I have just felt as if I was fat and had a problem with the way I see mysef. Like even though in the back of my head I know all the reasons that I shouldn't feel fat and know I am normal but I can't seem to shake these thoughts that I am overweight and look fat.

To start off I am 5'9" and 15 Stone 8 pounds (218lbs). I am 19, and whilst the statistics kind of point to "fat", I am more on the muscular side, which I have gotten from my dad. I am not toned and ripped, but I am heavier on the shoulders and have muscle there when I tense, but at the same time there's some fat that covers that (mainly on my lower stomach and hips). I wear a 34 inch waist of most trousers (depending on brand) and a large in t shirts and shirts. (UK Sizes). But there are so many factors that make me feel as if I am overweight and it does my head in so much. There ar so many that I just put them in a list as it's easier:

Reasons I feel normal;

- Having looked it up, the average male waist trouser size is 36-38 inches which is larger than me
- I am a large in t shirts and shirts, which is only one size up from a medium.
- I have been able to fit into a medium t shirt, though it depends on the brand
- My friends and family tell my I am not fat, but at the same time I am skeptical of the whole because they are my friends theory
- Sometimes in the mirror I look fine
- I have never really been called "fat" straight up

Reasons I feel fat;

- A lot of people I hang around with, like my best friend wears smaler clothes.
- In general everyone seems smaller than me
- My younger siblings cal me fat, quite a lot. I kind of know it's just a sibling thing because they call eachother fat. But at the same time it plays in the back of my mind
- My BMI is 32.3 which is obese
- I look in the mirror and most of the time feel like I look fat
- I see other people out and on the TV (fat people) and feel like I am as big as them

I just feel on a downward spiral, and I went to the gym a lot whilst I was at University because I got free gym. I put myself on a cutting cycle, which is what body builders do to reduce fat and water retention in the skin. But as I got smaller, and my trousers started fitting less and there were no more holes on my belt. I just wasn't feeling happier, people noticed me getting smaller but I just didn't feel any happier. It just has me lost as to why I feel this way, it's driving me nuts because I just want to feel normal.

I guess the eating disorder comes in as of late because right now I am on summer break from University and I am broke. So I don't have the money to go out (which has luckily changed as I just got a job, but now four weeks till payday), so I am stuck in doors all the time unless my parent give me a bit of money to do something. But I am bored stiff and find myself eating, which may be down to pure boredom but I did go through a stage of eating a lot before. Which makes me wonder if it's down to depression because of my issues with my weight (or my perception of my weight).

I just don't know what to do to feel happy again because I don't even know why I feel this way about my weight. In general I have problems with my looks, but at the same time I would say any issues I have with my looks are just the usual day to day quirks that everyone has now and then, it's nowhere near as bad as what I feel about my weight. I feel it also get's in the way of my relationships, my best friend is starting to get sick of it because I don't listen to him when he tries to help. But I can't help but feel humoured because he is my best friend. Also whilst I do reasonably well with women, I feel it stops me from getting together with girls I really like and makes me really self-concious and feeling insecure. It's also caused me not to sleep with a few girls because I was afraid of what they'd think once my shirt was off.

I just don't know where to turn, I've tried help from everyone and I just don't feel better. I know this is only a forum on the internet, but I felt maybe getting this off my chest would help and maybe hearing from some people who know of, or even people going through/been through the same thing, might help me out

[Obscene Eyedeas]

I don't know where to start really, and I am not sure if this is really an eating disorder or a mental problem. But for as long as I can remember I have just felt as if I was fat and had a problem with the way I see mysef. Like even though in the back of my head I know all the reasons that I shouldn't feel fat and know I am normal but I can't seem to shake these thoughts that I am overweight and look fat.

If you feel fat but you have a healthy weight it indicates a problem whether its at the point of an ED I can't tell as of yet.

To start off I am 5'9" and 15 Stone 8 pounds (218lbs). I am 19, and whilst the statistics kind of point to "fat", I am more on the muscular side, which I have gotten from my dad. I am not toned and ripped, but I am heavier on the shoulders and have muscle there when I tense, but at the same time there's some fat that covers that (mainly on my lower stomach and hips). I wear a 34 inch waist of most trousers (depending on brand) and a large in t shirts and shirts. (UK Sizes).

If you have muscles it tends to affect your weight making you heavier and people with bigger builds and higher bone density tend to also weigh more then someone with the exact same height.

But there are so many factors that make me feel as if I am overweight and it does my head in so much. There ar so many that I just put them in a list as it's easier:

Reasons I feel normal;

- Having looked it up, the average male waist trouser size is 36-38 inches which is larger than me
- I am a large in t shirts and shirts, which is only one size up from a medium.
- I have been able to fit into a medium t shirt, though it depends on the brand
- My friends and family tell my I am not fat, but at the same time I am skeptical of the whole because they are my friends theory
- Sometimes in the mirror I look fine
- I have never really been called "fat" straight up

Ok well its good you can see reasons why you are not fat. A large tshirt is actually common with guys. My friends a twig and at just under six foot medium tshirts don't fit him.

Reasons I feel fat;

- A lot of people I hang around with, like my best friend wears smaler clothes.
- In general everyone seems smaller than me
- My younger siblings cal me fat, quite a lot. I kind of know it's just a sibling thing because they call eachother fat. But at the same time it plays in the back of my mind
- My BMI is 32.3 which is obese
- I look in the mirror and most of the time feel like I look fat
- I see other people out and on the TV (fat people) and feel like I am as big as them

BMI oh how i hate that, BMI is so inaccurate it makes me laugh, it needs to be used in conjunction with other scales to take into account bone density and your frame and such to give an accurate reading. Siblings also call each other fat, they take your insecurities and pushes you to hurt you, its what siblings do. Peoples perception of themselves will be negative if they have low self confidence as you said when you look in the mirror sometimes you think your fine is all about your mindset at the time. Just because people tend to wear smaller clothes means nothing i mean you could have a Larger frame then them but that does not mean you're fat.

I just feel on a downward spiral, and I went to the gym a lot whilst I was at University because I got free gym. I put myself on a cutting cycle, which is what body builders do to reduce fat and water retention in the skin. But as I got smaller, and my trousers started fitting less and there were no more holes on my belt. I just wasn't feeling happier, people noticed me getting smaller but I just didn't feel any happier. It just has me lost as to why I feel this way, it's driving me nuts because I just want to feel normal.

This is telling me that deep down you're happy with your weight and you like how you are, the problem being that you're reading too much into todays society, you worry on other peoples perception of you but at the end of the day the only person you need to make happy is yourself. To be 'normal' you would need to be heavier with todays society people are tending to be heavier since we have more food then we need. I always disliked that word anyone everyone is different no two people the same. You are fine the way you are if you're happy with that

I guess the eating disorder comes in as of late because right now I am on summer break from University and I am broke. So I don't have the money to go out (which has luckily changed as I just got a job, but now four weeks till payday), so I am stuck in doors all the time unless my parent give me a bit of money to do something. But I am bored stiff and find myself eating, which may be down to pure boredom but I did go through a stage of eating a lot before. Which makes me wonder if it's down to depression because of my issues with my weight (or my perception of my weight).

Tbh from the situation it sounds like boredom as you have said yourself you have a job now and things are looking good and you continue to do it. What i think you need to do is start walking or when you feel like you want to eat because you're bored munch on something like carrot sticks. You'll be able to start your social life and going out again soon and this should cease to be a problem.

I just don't know what to do to feel happy again because I don't even know why I feel this way about my weight. In general I have problems with my looks, but at the same time I would say any issues I have with my looks are just the usual day to day quirks that everyone has now and then, it's nowhere near as bad as what I feel about my weight. I feel it also get's in the way of my relationships, my best friend is starting to get sick of it because I don't listen to him when he tries to help. But I can't help but feel humoured because he is my best friend. Also whilst I do reasonably well with women, I feel it stops me from getting together with girls I really like and makes me really self-concious and feeling insecure. It's also caused me not to sleep with a few girls because I was afraid of what they'd think once my shirt was off.

Hun at the end of the day we all have to face our insecurities but it all takes time. Everyone can get insecure about their own looks. If you feel insecure maybe you should do something to create a positive body image for yourself and listen to your friend 9 times out of 10 people mean what theyre telling you.

I just don't know where to turn, I've tried help from everyone and I just don't feel better. I know this is only a forum on the internet, but I felt maybe getting this off my chest would help and maybe hearing from some people who know of, or even people going through/been through the same thing, might help me out

Hun at the end of the day help is help, whether its in person or online. VT was created for the psychiatric ward. This part of the forum included. VT is a place to come for help when you feel alone or have nowhere left to escape from your problems. We are all here to support one another and find solutions to our problems. We are not professionals though sometimes we need a professional but when we just need support some advice and a few people who care, VT is here for that. Getting things off your chest is always good hun and I hope this helps.

[ForgetMeNot]

Stop worrying about what other people think of you, you're fine the way you are and I agree with the above statement of this is your body trying to tell you your happy at the weight you are. If you are really concerned go see your doctor and talk to them about everything thats been going on.

[rogerjack]

If you have a loose your weight then you must have to do the exercise regularly and also you have to take only some diet food and also do the yoga. Then your weight will loose with in some months. Do the exercise is the best way to decrease the weight.