Can't Eraser Burn or Cut, Don't know how to handle things anymore.

[Ametista]

To put everything simply, I hate myself. I hate my life, there's only one thing in my life that keeps me going. That's my boyfriend of 2 years. I know that shouldn't be everything that I should look forward to, but it is. Before we got together, everytime I would get stressed or want to sit down and cry, I would eraser burn, my hands, my arms, anywhere I could get enough friction. I tried cutting but to me, that seemed to easy, to quick, with eraser burns you could sit there and watch yourself erase part of you. Well after we got together, and he found out that I was doing these things, he got really mad, threatened to leave me if I did it again. I did it one time after that, I just got to stressed, a lot was said, but he forgave me. Its been about a year and half. Everytime something happens, I get upset, I get stressed, life gets screwed up, people piss me off, I don't know what to do! All I can do is cry! I don't know how to handle it since I can't harm myself in a way that will leave a mark! It gets so bad that when I cry and I know I can't do anything I pop blood vessels in my eyes.
Please help me on what I can do to deal with life, no matter what it seems like nothing goes right. Why does life have to be this hard?

[Kaya]

You could try working out, going for a walk, playing an instrument, listening to music...and my favorite: writing in a journal.

[Aspiringanonymous]

Abuse :arrow: Cutting and Self Harm

It is frustrating, I know, but just remember that all of this is for the best - surely you are aware that this is an unhealthy coping method to depend on, and as it often stems from the lack of useful alternatives, the best way to combat this psychological addiction is first introducing different coping methods. Where does one go about finding them? It is largely a process of trial and error - be open to everything, and sooner or later something suitable will appear - and it's important to be patient with yourself.

You don't need self-harm to survive, and you are in no way doomed to relying on this single mechanism forever - if a voice in your head says otherwise, well that's the addiction trying to weaken your resolve. Be weary of it. It is possible to get better, to have healthier ways of dealing with difficult circumstances - inflicting harm on yourself routinely will only make matters worse in the long run. Listen to what your boyfriend has to contribute as well, as he seems adamant about you quitting.

Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to at any time. :hug3: