grrr!

[tearsxdontxfall2014]

I thought I was doing pretty good. I had gone almost a month without cutting. That's the longest I've ever gone. Then I got home yesterday after being gone a week and a half at my brothers house. I was feeling like I really needed to cut because my older bro had called me to tell him he was in the hospital and had been diagnosed with cancer. I was very upset and needed something to calm me down. So I went to my jewelry box where I have about30 or 40 razorblades and opened the drawer. there.was.nothing.there. Then I went to my ballet bag where I keep my 3 pocket knives, lighter, and pills. Again nothing. While I had been gone, my mom had searched my room and taken everything I had. This had made me even more upset and anxious and I had a panic attack and ended up doing much worse damage than I would have. Now I'm pretty much not talking to my mom and am cutting/burning/popping pills 3-4 times a day pretty severely. Now I'm being threatened to be sent to a treatment center after summer is over because of a previous suicide attempts and her and my psych think I'm going to try again. Ugh! I can't handle this right now. I don't even know why I'm posting this but....whatever.

[xgeekyrocksx]

im really sorry about your brother and i hope he gets better. xx i can see how this would make you want to cut.. honestly.. i mean its.. terrible.
Maybe your Mum thought she was doing the rght thing, hiding the razors and that. Try talking to her or someone in your family about how your feeling and why. You could fix your relatonshp wth your Mum aswell, it would make it a lot easier for both of you..
im sorry if i didnt help at all, but hope i did :) xx

[Fiction]

I hope your brother gets better :( You should try to talk too your mum about cutting and how it's something that isn't easy too stop, and can be frustrating and make you feel worse if you don't have the things you need to do it. I'm sure your mum didn't do it to make your life difficult but because she thought she was doing the right thing. I suggest talking calmly too her about it, and maybe also about your brother. Letting out your emotions by talking is much more healthy than by cutting and popping pills. I hope this helped :) xx