the "are you happy" questions you get :/

[georgiamay]

i hate this question :l does anyone else hate it?
the other day my dad tried to talk to me about why, and i didn't have an answer for him, so he asked me, "are you happy?" and i didn't have an answer. i said no.
then he went off on one saying "what's so bad about your life then?"
and again, i didn't have an answer.
i said "nothing", and he couldn't understand why i did it.
he looked so confused and i felt so guilty that he was having this much trouble with it.
him and my step mum keep asking me questions like this. "are you happy? whats wrong with your life? what makes you feel like that? how do you feel?"

i cant answer them!! because there is no answer! well, the last 2 have an answer, but its a long, complicated answer that no one seems to understand. the others actually have no answer. i think they don't anyway, because i dont know the answer!!

does anyone else get that? or is it just me??

[igeek]

I see what you are saying. If you are worried about them feeling bad about how you feel, let them know that it is not something they are doing wrong. Unless, of course, it is. That should help them not feel bad. I'm not sure what to tell you about actually answering the questions, sorry. :(

[Wish]

I don't get 'are you happy?' more, 'are you okay?'. I usually revert to nodding or saying 'i'm fine' which, unfortunately, people see through. But I lie normally. It sounds as if you want your Dad to know about your unhappiness so opening up to him and telling him the truth about not being happy is a start- even though it doesn't seem like it.

You say that you know the answer but it is just too complicated, and also, you don't think anyone will understand it. Do you have any evidence for that? It sounds like your Dad wants to know. Perhaps, when the time is calm and quiet, you could sit him down and explain to him the answers to the last two questions. Then you can move forward and help yourself.

Take care xx

[xgeekyrocksx]

i know what you mean hun, its annoying when they ask and you (not you in particular but..yeah) dont know what to say. Its like there has to be one reason for it? Or any random peson expects you to answer perfectly, preferably in a list...
i just wanna say your not alone and.. i hope you that one day you figure out whats wrong.. xxx

[natt]

i totally get annoyed at that question, because everyone seems to be saying it at all the wrong and right times and i just don't feel comfortable saying, ''no im not okay, i'm obviously not okay, get it''. i don't know how to explain what's wrong with me either, it's all too complicated to explain and sometimes people justy don't want to hear. i have a best friend and every time something upsets me i talk to her, and when we talk i realise some of the things that make me sad, i also write in a diary of most of my days and it helps clear my head out and see things clearier.
just tell your parents some things that bother you that go on in the day or even a close friend and get used to expressing your emotions thorugh talking it all out.
they will all be willing to understand they love you and will be there for you, just remind them that there's no use trying to pump it out of you when your not totally ready for a big confession or spmething, and don't forget to relax :)
good luck
xxx

[Aspiringanonymous]

I loathe being asked this question, especially by people whom although may have good intentions, are not - and they know this - prepared to hear a negative and the long drawn out answer which must inevitably follow. Because they will not only be unable to understand a word of it, but immediate dismiss the entire argument altogether in scorn. I have fell for it too many times to still be so naive as to trust anyone that easily.

I believe that everyone deserves at least one genuine chance to establish trust. If they sabotage it significantly, however, then one has every right to be reserved in their presence.

It may seem as if no one understands, that no 'sane' person could possibly share your experiences and convictions - I know what that feels like. But don't ever lose hope - the world is a big place, and somewhere out there will be another consciousness with whom there is common ground to be found. Trust me, I speak from experience. :hug3:

[xShaaannonx]

Same.
Whenever someone asks me this question I just say i'm fine, and apparently i'm a good liar because no one ever continues the convo.
A couple of months ago, my friend (who SI's but doesn't know I do) asked me 'what was the point of life, what was there to be happy about...?' And I honestly couldn't think of an answer. Like, I couldn't even make something up to make her feel better...
It's terrible. But apparently not just you. I think we all feel like that.
xxx

[REGRET]

I have kinda the same thing.
Always when I come home from school my mom asks me "how was school?" and I'm forced to answer "fine". I really hate to lie to her, but if I tell her that it was horrible she'll start questioning me.
So yeah, I know how you feel hun :hug3:

[starrburst]

Yeah, this annoys the hell outta me...i always just lie and say i'm happy, i'm okay, i don't need your help. But i do, i know i do...but i can't, they wouldn't understand if i did.

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

Its frustrating, they ask u these questions without even the slightest idea of what its like to be in ur situation. A) U lie, and they either buy it or know ur lying. Or B) U give them a honest answer that upsets them, thus upsetting u further. Why is it that people only ask u thinks such as "Are u ok"? When its obvious ur not? People that dont know what to do,often just make the problem worse. Good intentions with bad outcomes.

[cvb2]

I understand exactly.
My friends always ask why I do it since there is nothing majorly wrong with my life. I try to explain that just because I'm not abused or anything does not mean that I can't be depressed or unhappy with my life.
I guess in a way they see it as me being ungrateful that I have a decent life but it's not "perfect" - which is not the case. Sometimes they even say things like "that kids mom died and is he slitting himself? no" Like, WTF.. that just makes me want to cut because of the guilt you put on me.
I honestly can't even decipher what makes me so depressed and want to cut, but I swear depression is a disorder that does not necessarily need a major event to trigger it.
I just try to avoid talking about it all together because they don't understand, and they don't really ask the right questions or approach it the right way which usually makes me want to cut more than want to stop.

[MadManWithaBox]

My mum knows the score, so she usually doesn't ask me things.