Boyfriend just doesn't understand.

[TheLovelyScars.x]

I had a conversation with my boyfriend a few hours ago about how i think i look, and how i feel.
The usual was said "i think im fat and horrible" etc.
Now he's started thinking that i want to have an ED, and just doesn't understand that i cant help the way i view myself, no matter what he says to me. I dont think he understands that people with Ed's dont really have a choice into how they are either..

He knows that i self harm and that im really fussy about what i eat, when i eat..but he doesnt know that i have bulimia.

I know none of this actually makes much sense, but it did in my head.
And i'm scared of him finding out incase he thinks im a mental freak... Since i already cut myself.

I dont know what to do and half the time it feels like im lying to him, but im just not ready to tell.
|':

[dbrkk]

Unfortunately, I don't think there's any way to get your boyfriend to completely understand. ED's are really twisted and complicated..such that one can't understand unless they've been through it. The best you can do is explain to him you have a problem, and if he really loves you, he'll be all for your recovery and return to health. If he thinks you're a "mental freak", then maybe he isn't the right guy for you, sorry to say. But definitely try and tell him the truth. No good will come out of lying..plus it'll only make it harder on you to keep hiding it from him.

[TheLovelyScars.x]

Thank youu & I've been thinking of ways to tell him actually.. but im not too sure if i even want to yet.
I guess you're right though, and i hope that he does help me through it cause im just sick of hiding everything now and i want it to stop.

[dbrkk]

Thank youu & I've been thinking of ways to tell him actually.. but im not too sure if i even want to yet.
I guess you're right though, and i hope that he does help me through it cause im just sick of hiding everything now and i want it to stop.
Like I said, if he really likes you, he'll without a doubt support you. Don't let it wait too long..this is something that should be brought up.

[The Dark Lord]

If he doesn't understand you, then dump him

[Heretic]

If he doesn't understand you, then dump him

No, that's pretty fucking stupid.


Trying to explain to him how you feel and see yourself would be like trying to explain what water is like to an alien who has never seen, tasted, or felt it. It's almost impossible and takes time from both parties. Just keep at it as long as he seems willing to understand.

[Fiction]

I understand how you feel. I don't have an ed but i self harm. My boyfriend found out. I didn't tell him. And him finding out was the worst thing you can imagine, i wish i'd explained to him before :/ Maybe try telling him over msn or something? It's less awkward that way. If he's staying with you throught your self harm then i'm sure he'll stick with you through your ed.

He may react badly too it but it doesn't mean it's the end. My bf told me he'd break up with me if i carried on cutting. 6 months after he found out of course i'm still cutting, and i still have my bf :)

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I don't get it, you say he doesn't understand but it seems to me he does, you said "he thinks I want to have an ED"
but then later say you actually do have an ED, so seems like he's right on the ball here.

[ErykaInspire.]

The most you can do is to sit him down and try to explain it to him, like you just did to us. If he truly loves and cares about you, He'll either stand by you or actually help you get better. "Everybody is unique, nobody is perfect". " You're stuck with you no matter what so you should make the best of it". I heard those two sentences all the time. I used to be anorexic, so I know for a fact that it's easier said than done.
But it is beatable.
Try to get your boyfriend to understand you, show him your post if you have no other way. Ask him to help you, try to make a diet/schedule to at least stay healthy. Eat crackers/bread and drink a lot of water. Try your best not to throw them up. Crackers/Bread and Water make you feel fuller, but also give your body a few nutrients.

Keep your head up, message me if needed.
x

[BeautifulDisaster]

Having an ED and wanting an ED are COMPLETELY different, freedom.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

my bad, I mis read that, i thought he was just supisous that you might have one, not that he already knew you had one and thinks you can just stop.

But still, not everyone understands, if they haven't gone through it themselves, how could they?
You need to explain it to him. and be paicent with him, hes not going to understand right away