HUGE urges.

[georgiamay]

i feel like i need it. but i know i dont.
i feel like it'll make everything better. but i know it wont.
it's like a compulsion, i need it, i want it.
the physical pain numbs the emotional, which is a thousand times worse than the physical. sometimes the emotional numbs the physical aswell. sometimes i feel nothing, and i like it. if that makes sense.
all i want, is to make myself endure so much pain i scream.
i want to look at the scars.
but i dont want to do it.
i know its wrong.
i know it'll hurt people around me.
i'm at breaking point right now.
i want it so bad.
it's only a matter of time before i snap.
but i dont want to, i dont want to let myself go back to that place, i hated it, but i feel like i have to, but i wont let myself.
I HATE THIS!!
i want to so bad!

sorry, rant. i just needed to get it out somehow. does anyone know how i can stop the urges?

[Mike321]

Its good to rant, you dont need to be sorry.
You said yourself that you know you dont need it and I know that it can be really hard to resist it, but you need to keep fighting them if your going to beat the addiction.
I always used to cut to cause as much pain to myself as possbile, and I liked seeing the scars (some of which I still have).
You also said in your post that you dont want to let yourself go back to that place so you know your a strong person, you CAN beat this.
As for distractions, listen to music, go for a walk, watch a film, anything that keeps your mind off it
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk

[starrburst]

Come on! You can do it! 5 days today, right? Well...It was before....'cause you started on the same day as me x'D

Try to talk to your friends about it, it'll help.

PM me if you need to talk more ;)

[Aspiringanonymous]

i feel like i need it. but i know i dont.
i feel like it'll make everything better. but i know it wont.
it's like a compulsion, i need it, i want it.
the physical pain numbs the emotional, which is a thousand times worse than the physical. sometimes the emotional numbs the physical aswell. sometimes i feel nothing, and i like it. if that makes sense.
all i want, is to make myself endure so much pain i scream.
i want to look at the scars.
but i dont want to do it.
i know its wrong.
i know it'll hurt people around me.
i'm at breaking point right now.
i want it so bad.
it's only a matter of time before i snap.
but i dont want to, i dont want to let myself go back to that place, i hated it, but i feel like i have to, but i wont let myself.
I HATE THIS!!
i want to so bad!
Listen to yourself. Repeat these words - the words of the resistance - again and again until they begin to take effect. Don't apologize for the rant, it's important to write empowering thoughts down as they possess greater power in concrete form - and this is a power you will need to resist the urges.

Distractions are helpful, but the best distraction is to place yourself in an environment where it would not be possible to simply reach for a blade and cut. Try to avoid being alone in your room whenever possible, that kind of thing. Don't focus on the urges. Don't focus on trying to resist or eliminate these urges. Whatever activity is undertaken as a distraction, the purpose is to disregard the entire concept altogether - keep that in mind at all times - for so long as it retains in your consciousness in any form, its power over you will continue to be exerted.

You are better than all this, and you deserve better. Give your self and your body the dignity it deserves. You don't want to cause harm to yourself, that's the addiction and the depression talking, and it must be regarded with caution for it does not mean well. You know this.

May you find strength and courage. :hug3: