Again, the usuals.

[Aspiringanonymous]

Exams are over. School is done, and so is work. I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with no idea how to get anywhere. I'm also plagued by an intense inner struggle between my inner cynic and idealist.

I'm so tired. I don't want to care anymore. But I can't help it. I can't help having hope when I know that it is entirely absurd and futile.

It would be so much easier to just not care about anything, right? Well, no, it wouldn't be.. left to itself, my mind wouldn't even have enough energy to get up every morning, much less be capable of withstanding each day's usual meaningless demands.

A glimmer of hope amidst hopeless; so faint that it in turn preoccupies me with its lack of reliability. But I still need it, what little of it exists, to go on.

My existence is a comedic tragedy.

[Obscene Eyedeas]

Hope is not a bad thing maya. remember our discussion last night. for one to find the answers they must clear they're mind of the clutter and realize that the angle we usually perceive is nearly always flawed. you perceive hope as that which is keeping you in the between. truly though maya you need to do what you Did last night, cut through the obscurity maya and remember once you get to the understanding you'll be amused at how long it took you.

[Wish]

Hope is no bad thing- however pointless and futile it might seem when it reaches out to us. The time after exams can just seem empty, if that makes sense, with nothing to focus upon other than endless days of nothing-ness. Perhaps you could make a plan of things that you could do; a walk in the park, cycling, writing... the list is endless. That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning that can challenge this tireless debate of struggling to care about anything and hating the fact that you cannot escape it.

I don't know much about you at all and I don't want to question anything in case it appears nosy or something, but they'll be a reason (or a few reasons) why you're feeling like this. I think it is about questioning these beliefs and thoughts you hold inside of you and asking what they're still doing there. Don't try and do everything at once because that will just run you down, just focus upon sorting one thing and eliminating the haze in your mind hour by hour and day by day.

No idea if this helps at all. Hope it does. Take care xx

[overcome.]

There's some good advice in this thread. I'm here if you'd like to speak Maya. I think deep down we share a similiar dream that's fixated on hope, peace and therefore freedom. I think the journey is tiring and it's lonesome, it's also depressing. Like I said, I'm here to talk to if you'd like to.