I hate this.

[screamtobeheard]

I'm so confused right now. And I hate this so much. I used to be in control. It was all fine. But now I don't have control anymore. Some voice inside me does. The voice that's telling me it's not okay to drink regular soda. It'll make me fat. I can't eat that cookie. I might gain half an ounce. Why don't I have control of myself anymore? When did I become so obsessed?

I eat as little as I can get away with, with everyone watching me. And I'm losing weight. Over ten pounds so far, but I still don't see anything but fat on myself. I feel like I'm going crazy.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think it might be time to accept the fact that I have some kind of eating disorder. Tomorrow I'm eating yogurt and watermelon, skipping a meal, and eating as little as I can get away with for the last. It won't come up to 700 calories. And I'll still be freaking out and working out to get it off my body.

And I want to get through with it, and get back to normal. But then that damn voice in my head tell me I'm just being weak. It's not okay to eat normal amounts of food. I just don't know anymore.

[starrburst]

You seem to have convinced yourself that you are overweight, and you are self concious. Have you previously been mocked for your weight? Has someone you care about had problems ike this? I suggest you try more food, and eat whatever you want, as long as your eating somethings then it's okay.You must also keep a balenced diet, otherwise you may start getting very ill. Hope it goes well, pm me if you need me! xxx

[screamtobeheard]

Yeah, I'm extremely self conscious. No, I've never been mocked for it, surprisingly, and although my mom's side of the family does tend to struggle with weight, it doesn't really seem to cause them problems like mine. Thanks for your support! (:

[starrburst]

Maybe you could consult a doctor? They'll give you great advice ;)