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View Full Version : been caught out, now they all know.


georgiamay
June 19th, 2010, 05:42 AM
well, my best mate saw my cuts the other day, and promised she wouldn't tell anyone and asked me not to do it again, but in biology the other day, this girl i sit next to saw my cuts as well, and said, "omg do you self harm?" i started panicking and made up some crap excuse, and she said, "oh i bet" really sarcastically, and i had to really really try not to start crying, cause i was panicking so much. my teacher sent me outside to calm down, and my best mate came out with me, and she said, "you did it again didn't you?" and i said yes. then she said that i was clearly getting worse, and that she felt that she had to tell someone, cause she didn't want to watch me do this, and it was obvious i wasnt getting better, cause i kept telling her i'd stop if i didn't.

she said either i told my biology teacher after lesson, or she would. i didn't want to tell him, but i didn't want her to sit there talking to him about me, so i stayed behind as well, and she told him everything. he passed it on the one of the deputy heads, and told my parents. i'm now getting councelling at school, and she's referring me to this young people's councelling service in the town centre.

my dad was really upset about it, and he called my mum who came round, and i told them everything. i told them the truth, about how it's addictive. i said that the first time a relapsed i thought just one, just one to make me feel better and thats it, then it was just one more. one more. one more. my dad couldn't understand it, and i didn't expect him to, but my mum did. she said that when she was drinking, it was always 1 more then i'll stop, and then it was just one more. she understood. but now my dad is giving me regular "inspections" as he likes to call them. every now and then he'll make me show him my arms and legs so he can see if there are any new ones. not sure what to make of that, but atleast it'll stop me from doing it right?

i'm not sure what the point in this thread is. i guess i just wanted to tell you all so i could get it out of my system, and tell you that telling someone might seem like a bad idea, but it means you get helped a lot faster than if you go through it on your own.

CaliKid24
June 19th, 2010, 05:46 AM
All I can say is good job on having such a positive outlook on the whole situation.

Bougainvillea
June 19th, 2010, 05:47 AM
I'm glad you're getting help, though. :)

It's not that easy for most.

crimsonangel
June 19th, 2010, 06:12 AM
I'm glad that you have a positive outlook on all of this and glad to hear that you are getting help. Many people don't understand that cutting is truly an addiction and the saying from AA/NA comes to mind "One is too many and a thousand is never enough" meaning that in reality one cut/drink/hit is too many but in our minds a thousand will never be enough for us. I wish you the best in your recovery :)

misery_business
June 19th, 2010, 07:19 AM
omg that must have been so hard ! My school nurse nearly told my parents buti told her not to and promised i would stop.
I really hope with your parents knowing will help you stop :)
well done X

starrburst
June 19th, 2010, 09:59 AM
Well done for being able to talk about it, I fail to do that...
My friends know because in class I often just cut myself a little bit...then there like...stop that! But I can't and...now it's worse and...they really don't give a shit what I do to myself anymore ='(

Mike321
June 19th, 2010, 11:24 AM
Well done for telling them the truth, its a very hard things to do I know, so I'm proud of you
And your right take the help thats offered, it will be really erm.. helpful :)
I hope things start getting better for you
x

Marcie
June 19th, 2010, 11:31 AM
I'm proud of you for telling them the truth :-)
Great job, and I'm so glad you're getting help now.
As pretty much everyone else has said, you really do have a great outlook on this.
Instead of being like "This is TERRIBLE! My parents know about my Self harm."
You have the outlook of "This is a good thing, I need this." At least that's what I'm seeing in this :-)
You dad's random "inspections" are probably a good thing as well, it provides a greater incentive to stop. Being held accountable like that is a big step toward stopping. I can only wish that I had Someone who would hold me accountable like that. It would have made things soo much easier. lol

georgiamay
June 19th, 2010, 12:26 PM
thanks everyone :) yeah at the time i was really hoping my friend would change her mind and leave, but now i think about it, i'm glad she did it, so now i can get help.

there was always that tiny little bit of me that just really wanted someone to notice, but the second they did, the same bit of me wanted them to forget what they'd seen. Now i'm glad they saw, but i just wish i never did it in the first place place, if i never made that first cut i wouldn't have gotten addicted, and i wouldn't have had to worry about stopping either.
its gunnu be really hard to stop, but now people actually know, i'll be able to talk about how i feel without them finding out, cause they already know, so yeah it really is a good thing.

thanks again everyone :)

starrburst
June 19th, 2010, 01:04 PM
I hope everthing goes well, it can only get better now. Congrats :)

georgiamay
June 19th, 2010, 03:39 PM
yeah i know and i'm glad i can now get help, but the only problem is that now my parents keep making little remarks to me and then laughing about it :l my step mum, yesterday when i was going upstairs shouted up, "don't bring any sharp objects up with you!" and then sat there laughing to herself as if it was all some big joke to her. my dad was REALLY hurt by it, and i feel so bloody guilty for that, and i feel so fucking angry towards my step mum for the little digs she's been giving me. talk about fuckin' support.

sorry, that was a rant, i just got angry and didn't want to ruin my 2 days of not cutting :/

starrburst
June 19th, 2010, 04:16 PM
I caused my dad and his gf split up...i felt so guilty...i couldn't stop crying...i hated her so much...i feared my life when i was around her...phsyco bitch...

smile
June 19th, 2010, 04:31 PM
Well done for telling someone, you are very brave and hopefully now you can finally be free and get the support you need and deserve.
Have a rant whever you want, its good to rant, its better than cutting yourslef, im gald you did. Try to ignore your stepmother, im sorry but she doesnt seem all that supportive right now, or undertsand what you are going through. Maybe you could try talking to her and explain how this hurts you? If not just try to ignore her :)

I hope everything works out, good luck, take care xx

HeroesAndCons
June 19th, 2010, 09:51 PM
I hate to admit it but your dads inspections are a good idea. It can be motivation to not harm yourself.

munchausen
June 20th, 2010, 10:26 AM
I know what it feels like when your parents find out about you self harming, my experience was far different. The doctors at hospital sat down and explained how it can become addictive. However my parents never bother to check for new cuts but I am trying to stop. Goodluck with your whole situation and I hope you do stop after this :)