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Syvelocin
June 19th, 2010, 01:19 AM
I'm debating with myself whether to just tell people at different times, say my family and a few close friends I see over the summer, or wait till I go back to school and tell everyone on the same day (I was planning on National Coming Out Day). What do you think would be preferable? I'm anxious to come out, really, that's why I'm pondering the subject, because I'm excited that I could be loud and proud if I wanted, instead of it just existing within myself.

One of my friends does know... she found out on the Day of Silence (well, I tried to tell her, but I couldn't just say "I'm bisexual," because, well, it was the Day of Silence =P) but other than her, no one knows. My only concerns are that I can't do some of the things I used to, like sleepovers or... interesting games of truth or dare because they'll be awkward around me. Because during such sleepovers, my friends, unlike me, have pretty good self-esteem and change in front of everyone, so I've seen their breasts and such, but I just don't want to feel estranged (with them). I know they'll support me, because I've waited in the water a bit and have talked about homo and bisexuality, they seem to be very supportive. Though as to be expected, I'm still nervous.

I know this has probably been asked a hundred times, but also how exactly should I come out? I've thought about it, and haven't really thought of a certain way of going about it. I'm not sure about my family though. Telling my 10 year-old sister, is a must even, because I really don't want to be exclusive with this. Like I said, I want to be loud and proud. My parents aren't those "crazy Christians," my mother's the sort of "democrat Catholic" and my father's a laid-back, west coast, democratic, non-religious guy, though this sort of thing would come out of no where, as I act relatively straight (I don't think there's anything I do that could, in any way, be a sign that I might be a lesbian or bisexual...)

Also, I have a question for you non-heterosexuals out there... how do you let people know about your orientation without introducing yourself like "Hi! I'm so and so, the bisexual!"

I don't know, a lot is running through my head...

Captor K
June 19th, 2010, 07:15 PM
I had a strange way of coming out--though not entirely. I told both my best friends through text, though one of them helped me accept the fact that I am what I am, and to stop jumping down my own throat. I told a third friend some days ago over IM, well, more like, I pushed her in that direction and let her draw her on conclusion. But that was it. I understand your predicament.

I advise caution. Why the rush to tell everyone? It's not their business. Coming out and shouting it to the rooftops can be disastrous. Consider the pros and cons of who you (might) tell, before you make any hurried decisions.

Syvelocin
June 19th, 2010, 07:23 PM
I just feel like I'm deceiving myself. I have few friends but we're all super close, that it's insane. I feel like they deserve to know, and I'd like them to know, so I don't have to lie to myself, and so I don't have to keep everything in when I have something to ask or talk about with them. Also, being in the closet does not help the whole dating thing. I feel like, maybe, if people knew, than I could make friends with other people of alternate sexualities, or even gain trust in my friends, if they're just heterosexual, then with other things that are going on with them. I like to get my stories out there (my religion, my self-harm, sexuality) so people know that they have someone they can relate to (if any of that makes sense).

Captor K
June 19th, 2010, 07:40 PM
Coming out to someone can be a bit like taking a drug--you just wanna do it over and over again.

And yes, you make perfect sense. I can definitely relate to all of that. Perhaps you could slide a hypothetical situation to them, or steer a conversation in "gay/bi" direction to see how they'd respond. I did that to one of my friends before coming out. A mutual friend put up a status on FB defending gays and bi's, and asked his thoughts on it. When I was certain he was okay with it, I told him.

But please be careful about putting your business out there. People are so quick to skewer everything. I am sure others will reply to this topic and give much better advice, but if you're going to do it, I just want to remind you not to tell everyone. And to whomever you do tell, tell them in a calm, clear voice. Excitement, for whatever reason, seems to bugger the hell out of some people. I wish you the sincerest best of luck in whichever decision you make.

Wiwwm0
July 16th, 2010, 10:25 PM
I'm planning to come out to my closest friends on national comming out day. When's that day exactley

beedubs
July 16th, 2010, 10:35 PM
October 11th i belive.

and you need to tell people when your ready. you may say you want to tell family first, but it might not be that easy. just go slow.

Mynameisconner
July 17th, 2010, 12:50 PM
Dont rush to tell everyone. In time, when your comfortable, a right time will arise. I'd wait till then. I personally have only told one person I was bi. She was not to supportive, not to dissuade you or anything. The people who support you are going to be the ones who will remain in your life, and deserve your life, and vice versa. There is no right, or wrong way to do it. If i were gonna tell everyone, I'd do it individually so I culd answer all of there questions seperately. That way you are less likely to be overwhelmed. I hope that helped!