It's the only way.

[Secret_Keiko]

I didn't know who I could really talk to, so I've decided to post my "story" on a website to complete strangers.
I started cutting when I was about 12, because I was having a really bad time with my family, and I remembered watching a film, that had a girl self harming, and thought that it would help.
Since then, I had a LOT of really awful stuff happen to me, and when I was 14 I tried to overdose. I tried again when I was 15.
I've been on so many anti-depressants, it's stupid. Being on them made me cut more, because I felt even worse, I didn't feel like myself. I felt fake, because the pills were trying to create someone else.
All the while I've been cutting, on and off, but I've never stopped.
I haven't been able to tell people because I feel so ashamed and I always put on a "happy" act around my friends, and they really are the greatest people, so I'm scared that they'll be sad, and that they'll think I don't value them because I'm hurting inside.
I feel so selfish because I do have people who care for me, but sometimes I just think that nothing is real, and that it'd be better just to end everything.

Cutting is what helps me survive, and I'm not entirely sure that I want help. Six years of self harm, anything else seems wrong. For me, self harm is the only way to get my emotions out, because I really do hate expressing my true feelings to the people I love the most. And that makes me feel even worse. :(

[MadManWithaBox]

Well you may not want help just yet. But anytime you need to talk, night or day, PM me. I won't try to convince you that quitting self harm is simple, and as someone who has also attempted suicide, and more than once, I do understand. like I said, anytime.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I know how you feel about hating to express your true feelings, because not wanting to hurt the people you love.

If you ever want to talk or anything just VM/PM me :)

[Mike321]

Its hard to express your feelings I know, I did it for four years before I told anyone
We're here to support you
PM me if you want to talk

[xgeekyrocksx]

I know what you mean by thinking that they will feel you dont value them but, maybe if you told a very close friend..someone who you dont think will mind, it'll make life so much easier.
And like the others have said, its ok if you dont want to stop just yet..just find someone to talk to, even on here...
xx

[Secret_Keiko]

Thank you for the support guys <3
it means alot
:)

[Aspiringanonymous]

I'm glad that you have joined, welcome to VT. :) If you need someone to talk to, we are always here, that's what this community is all about.

Please try not to feel bad for feeling bad, you did not will yourself into this current position. As for not valuing the people around you, it is quite the opposite; people will be grateful that you trust and respect them enough to open up about your innermost concerns.

Take your time, it is okay to not feel ready, but keep in mind that recovery is your end goal. Self-harm as a coping method poses many risks, and is never a long-term solution.

I'm sorry that I'm not able to offer more words at this time, but as the others, I am always available to lend a shoulder.

Take care for now. :hug3: