I don't believe it

[Malcolm Tucker]

Ok so apparently I get really really low, and cut myself and so forth. But lately, I don't think I actually am. Confused? I mean there is two possibilities. One is I actually am depressed and doing this and my mind is fucking with me. Or. I could be slightly depressed, and then I feel the need for help so I take it miles out of proportion, hurting myself and so on. I don't know why, but I just feel like I'm doing it for attention, and it's already in motion before I can stop myself. Almost like I'm too used to doing it. I get depressed really randomly, with no trigger at all, and then feel like this, but could I just be manufacturing it in my head? I don't know.

Any thoughts, sorry if that's unclear. It just sorta fell out of my head.

[Kaya]

Im sorry, Micheal. All this time I asked you for advice when it should be the other way around. I dont mean to be selfish.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Im sorry, Micheal. All this time I asked you for advice when it should be the other way around. I dont mean to be selfish.

Whoa, no no, I offered advice hun, I am more than happy to, I meant that <3

[Sith Lord 13]

Ok so apparently I get really really low, and cut myself and so forth. But lately, I don't think I actually am. Confused? I mean there is two possibilities. One is I actually am depressed and doing this and my mind is fucking with me. Or. I could be slightly depressed, and then I feel the need for help so I take it miles out of proportion, hurting myself and so on. I don't know why, but I just feel like I'm doing it for attention, and it's already in motion before I can stop myself. Almost like I'm too used to doing it. I get depressed really randomly, with no trigger at all, and then feel like this, but could I just be manufacturing it in my head? I don't know.

Any thoughts, sorry if that's unclear. It just sorta fell out of my head.

Michael, that fear that you're doing it for attention is one of the most likely signs that you're not.

As for are you manufacturing this in your head, the answer depends on your point of view. All our emotions come from our head. In that sense, yes, you are, but so is anyone suffering from depression. It's possible you have a chemical imbalance, and as such your brain is manufacturing it. Meanwhile, you and your mind are left to deal with the issues. If you view manufacturing as the artificial creation of the situation however, I don't think you are. The only one who can truly answer this question is you, but unless you sit around when your happy and try to think of things that make you sad, I'd say the answer is no.

:hug: Don't forget we're all here for you. You've helped me a lot, and I appreciate that. If you ever need to talk, PM, VM, Skype, MSN, they're all open to you.

[Malcolm Tucker]

I'm considering seeing a psychologist in college, Alex, so I'll know for sure. Thanks for the offer too =]. It's really REALLY confusing =/

[Aspiringanonymous]

...and it's already in motion before I can stop myself. Almost like I'm too used to doing it.
If you ask for my interpretation, this seems the most likely - it has become a routine in your subconscious, to the point where there need not be any specific reason leading up to the behavior's occurrence. Self-harm is for the most part, directly related to existing emotional turmoil of some sort, but it can develop to a point where it becomes independent, forming a whole new issue out of itself. Perhaps that is the case, but of course, only you are capable of the most accurate understanding of your own situation.

Acknowledge the confusion, but if you find yourself going in circles trying to think, then just step back and observe. All dynamics are changing and developing over time; it will become clear at some point.

All the best to you. :hug3:

[Kaya]

I dont care....I wish I could help you like you help me <3

[Malcolm Tucker]

Thanks Maya, I have taken time to really think about it, me and one of my closest friends sat down and talked and tried to unravel this. I think that it's just me not being able to associate myself with the emotion or the act of self-harm, and have done research on the topic.

And Kayla, I stick by what I said!

[Aceso]

Its the same with me...depressed really randomly...
With the attention, Its not attention seeking...maybe just hoping someone will see and understand? PM me anytime, were all here for you! :hug:

[Kaya]

Ur awesome Michael!!!