My step mom, the bitch.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

FUCK.
I am so fucking frustrated.
My step mom may have been only married to my dad for a year,
but she's been in our lives since i was 4.
I've never really liked her.

Anyway.
I am just going to rant about the outragous unfair things lately.

LIKE.

My dads picking me up from a friends, and I ask him if he could buy me mcdonalds,
He says yes, but that Maria has asked him specifically before he left to not buy me any food.
So he buys it for me, and makes me wait beside my house outside in the rain for them to leave to go to dinner.
Hear that? To go to dinner.
So she gets to have food bought for her but she asks my dad not to do the same for me?

Then, i'm sitting in my room, my really cold room, with this really nice fluffy blanket
and from outside my door, maria asks me if i know where it is.
I say i'm using it, its cold in here.
She tells me that blanket is for the guest bedroom
and I say "i'm using a blanket to warm myself, isn't that what they are for? not to sit on a bed that no one is using."
its not like we were having anyone over, or ever do.
So i hear her nag at my dad then he comes to my room and asks for it,
I tell him how ilogical this is, he says "yes your using logic but maria is mad so give me it"

wtf!

yesterday when my dad was picking me up from somewhere she called JUST to bitch at him for picking me up.

And today, i had plans with my dad to have lunch with him before school, it was going to be very nice, and he comes up to my room 30 min before we are suppose to leave and says lets do it tomorrow, maria will get mad and i'm not ready.
Well I bet you'd be ready if it was lunch with Maria you had.
I just looked at him and said what is the point of making plans with me if she is going to get mad at you.

I am so sick and tired of this.
He even admits when I'm being logical and shes not that he is going to listen to her.

Now a subtopic of this is,
I talked to my dad about university, and I want to live in co-op housing just for the first year and move back, and he seemed fine with the idea.
I told the idea to Maria, as a set plan and she just said "i don't know" as if she is going to make sure my dad doesn't let me.

if she reallly prevents me from moving out of here away from her bullshit I don't know what I'll do.

[nick]

It does sound as if she is being unfair and deliberately manipulating and controlling your dad just to get at you. I'm sorry, I cant think of anything very helpful to say but just wanted to let you know that I think you are not being unreasonable to feel mad about it all. Maybe you should make a list and put it in a letter to your dad, but to be honest it sounds as if he knows its unfair but is going along with it all anyway.

[green day]

She is a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iamniokekun]

Your step-mom seems like a very possessive person that likes to feel in control of things. Worst part is, is that ur dad is going along with it.

Talk to ur dad, then have a serious talk with maria. Best way to deal with people like her is to take them aside and talk about all the things that you feel aren't correct - ask her why she treats you this way, then you should get some answers.

It also sounds like she's bullying you a bit. -_-

[Clawhammer]

Talk to your dad about this, not only will you help yourself but you can save him from all this before it ruins his life, too. Just sit down in private and talk with him, she's trying to become the dominant of the family. From the beginning of time the man has always been the head of the house, the wife submits to his will unless it is unjust, and the system works. Any other way, it all gets blown to hell. The man leads the family, not the woman. She needs to figure that out. Good luck.

[Kaya]

She is being very unfair. Stepparents sometimes dont have respect for their stepchildren. Keep your head up because she would like to see you fall. PM me anytime.

[Powerline]

Your Step Mom does sound like a Bitch. I can feel feel your pain. I too have a Bitch for a step mom. Fortunately I dont live with her I live with my uncle. But my step mom would always treat me like shit and act like she was my mother when she isnt

[LeopardSox]

my step-mom used to be a ass too. she's alot better now and i barely see them anyway so it's not like she's around all the time.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I'm not sure what its like in Canada but surely if your 18, she can't stop you from moving out?

Maybe it would be worthwhile to sit down and talk with your Dad and Maria, either seperatly or both of them together and just explain to them how you feel and maybe, hopefully, you could come to some sort of an arrangement/deal that makes all your lives easier...Hope this helps you somewhat :)
PM me if you want :)

[Ryhanna]

It sounds like she's kind of jealous if you ask me...
Like she's doing these things just because it's you and she feels she has to fight for attention and love from your dad. It also sort of seems as though your dad knows, hence he goes with her just to shut her up - which is really all he could do.

Do you have any siblings? Does she treat them like this too?
Try talking to Maria about it and telling her you'd rather be treated nicer.

[Kahn]

The only reason your father sides with Maria is because she is his wife. I know you are his child but ,as ridiculous as it sounds, most times the husband sides with the wife more than the father sides with the child. What he is trying to do is preserve his relationship with her, at to my knowledge it doesn't sound like it will last. This is what I've learned since my step father has bitched and moaned to my mom about me and she always sided with him. Well now my Mom is telling me the chances of divorce are extremely high because of this.

If she rejects your plan with college I'd say that is the last straw. You're going to be 18, you'll have freedom. She cannot keep you there even if she has adopted you. It is not in her legal right. She shouldn't be doing this anyway. It is not right and your father should see that. If not then your father is as dumb as she is hateful.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

she's trying to become the dominant of the family. From the beginning of time the man has always been the head of the house, the wife submits to his will unless it is unjust, and the system works. Any other way, it all gets blown to hell. The man leads the family, not the woman. She needs to figure that out. Good luck.

Wow this is so offence and ignorant I don't even know where to start

[Sith Lord 13]

If she continues to get worse, I can tell you what I would do, though how practical it is for you I don't know.

I would line up another place to stay, then confront your father. Either he grows a spine and tells that woman that she's being a bitch, you're his daughter and if she doesn't like that she can leave OR you walk out that door, and he will never see you or any possible grandkids. You can't try and bluff this though, you have to be ready to walk out.

[myskias]

she seems stupid. try using reverse psychology on her. tell her you want something to do something that you really dont want. and shel work for you to not get it, thus you getting what you initially wanted

[Bougainvillea]

Wow this is so offence and ignorant I don't even know where to start

Though, the male is the naturally dominant sex. The system does not always work. Females (now that they are given equal opportunities) are just as capable as men, and lots of times exeed men. That person needs to realise it's not the 30's anymore.

I think you just need to be patient until you move out.

[DragonflyBec]

Wow your step mother doesn't have boundaries does she? Well I suggest talking to your dad; If he listens to her hell he may just listen to you. and of course your his daughter you should have first priority. I know this sounds immature, but talk to your dad and say look I have a feeling I need to move out because I cannot handle this situation... this actually may have an effect on your dad and he may come to terms. let him know gently that of course the conversation should be said safely and that nothing you have said should leave his confidence

xx.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Thanks for all the advice guys,
But honestly I can't move out yet, I haven't even finished highschool yet and don't have a job.

I just dont want my chances of moving into university housing will be ruined because of her, but I talked to my dad and asked him if he's sure I am allowed to do that and he said yes.

Really I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being self centered, I can wait it out for another year.

[Shortkid]

I agree she does sound like a bitch. It is totally unfair when a parent like your dad is forced to make a choice between his spouse and his kids. I'd put more of the blame on her than him, however. She's the one forcing him to act this way. Why would he take her side all the time. What is she doing for him that is so valuable??

[Cryofthewolf]

I know completely where you are coming from. I lived with my father for a year when I was 14-15 and it was one of the worst years of my life, mainly because of my stepmother. She was abusive, manipulative, and would bad-mouth my mother all of the time. She has also basically turned my father against me and the rest of the family.

It's hard to go through, I know, but realize that it won't be the rest of your life. In the meantime, try sitting your father down (away from Maria) and tell him how you feel. Tell him that if it can't keep going on like this. If this kind of behavior continues, see if there is somebody you can stay with, or move in with, if it is an option. Is mom still in the picture? I eventually moved back in with my mother. Best decision of my life.

Most important of all, however, is that you shouldn't start to hate Maria. I hated Betty and my father for the longest time, and all it did was poison me on the inside. You definitely don't have to like her, (I don't like Betty at all) but try not to hate her. It only hurts yourself. Also, the experiences you have how, if you use them correctly, can be used to make you a stronger person in the long run. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my year with my father and Betty. Let it build you up and make you a stronger young woman.

I'll pray that things get better for you. If you need to talk at all you can e-mail me/facebook me (don't have pm privileges yet.) BE STRONG!

[Kahn]

This is a few months old now. :locked: