will the urges EVER go?

[georgiamay]

this might seem really silly, but seriously, if i keep going with not SHing, will i ever have a bad day and not think to myself that the only way to make it feel better is physical pain? even if i do resist, and at 40 i still haven't done it, will they ever go? i mean, the knowledge that cutting/burning was a release of all the crap that goes on inside me will always be there. i'll always know it's bad aswell, but the feeling of releif will always be there. will i ever be completely over this?

is it one of them things like alchoholism, where you're always an alchoholic, you just dont drink. is it like that? will we always be self harmers, we just dont self harm?

does anyone get what i mean? we might not hurt ourselves for years, but will we still have that feeling in 20 years time? will we still remember the relief we felt, and have urges, and the only difference is that we learn to resist them?

this is a bit of a rant, it was just a thought i thought i'd post, sorry :P

[MadManWithaBox]

Once you get past that thing, or things, that make you want to SH, the urges will go. It won't be a case of resisting, It'll be a case of not wanting to.

[Mike321]

As matt said, once you get over the issues that make you SH, the urges will fade, but for them to go forever it'll need you to not want to do it aymore, if that makes sense

[georgiamay]

mmm... i know what both of you mean, but i mean, sometimes when i went few my really bad stage a few years ago, i would do it even if i just had a bad day at school or something. it started as one particular problem, and grew into a coping mechanism for everyday life. i get that once my problems go, my urges will go, but everyone has a bad day every now and then dont they? so do you think i'll think to myself, "self harm would make me feel better right now" when i have a bad day? or will they just COMPLETELY go? so i dont even think about it anymore.

sorry i'm just really curious :P

[Mike321]

I used to do that, if I had a bad day at college I'd come home and just cut, (thats how it all started again for me), and your right evryone does have a bad day once in a while.
But to be honest I dont really know the answer to this one, they might completley go in in time.
Sorry this isnt much help
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[georgiamay]

its ok :) i was only really asking because the thought just jumped into my head while i was doing physics, and i thought i'd ask :)

i dont know, maybe they will, maybe they wont, i guess i'll just have to wait and see :P

[MadManWithaBox]

Well thats what cutting is, despite how people might misconceive it. Its a coping mechanism, and a hard one to break out of. The thing to remember is, does it help in the long term? Or does it give you relief in the short term, and an ugly scar for the rest of your life?

[georgiamay]

yeah i know, that's why i'm stopping, i dont like the scars, and i dont want to hurt my family. i was just wondering if i'll ever be completely over it.

like i said, i guess i'll have to wait and see :P

[MadManWithaBox]

Well I suppose only you'll know. Like I said, once you're past what makes you SH, the urge will go. So people say mind, cos I'm not past it myself. Its good you wanna quit though. But to truly get past it, you need to deal with causes you to SH. Resisting is hard.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I'm gonna jump in now ask something :P

You say after you get past what makes you SH, the urges will go... but, what if you don't know what the problem is that causes you to do it? How can you get past it? Cause I want to stop but I cant... :(

[MadManWithaBox]

Then thats what you need to explore, and find out, with a counsellor, or talking with friends. You find the root of the problem, you get rid of the problem, there you go. Bobs your uncle, fanny's your aunt ;)

[natt]

i was wondering this myself,
i fount out my auntie SH when she was younger and went through depression and she went through which helped me to hear her side of things and the way she acted
one thing she said to me was its all day by day. she said she never really got over it and its still there because this can be life effecting and it changes you, i think the urges lessen alot but there will alway be a voice in your head telling you to take the easy route, and when you don't and ignore them, you feel stronger in yourself and carrying on living
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