Is this illegal?

[tGirl]

My bf is my stepbrother. I'm 17 and he's only 14 but honestly he acts more mature than like 90% of the guys in my class .We don't have sex but I do fool around with his penis and stuff quite a bit and sometimes I sneak into his room during the nighta nd sleep with him. I want to say again though we don't have intercourse. I'm a virgin and that wont be changing anytime soon

This has been going on since March and i never told anyone about it until yesterday I told my best friend. she thinks it might be illegal because he's my stepbrother and because of the age difference.

I've been seaching on oGoogle about this (which is how I found this forum)and I think its ok, especially since we don't have intercourse. Does that sound right? I guess I'm also wondering if you all think this relationship is really "wrong" or anything. Me and my stepborther aren't actually related, right?

[danielg]

well if your not related by blood it sounds ok. My sisters last boyfriend was related to us because his sister or something married someone in our family. but about the age i think its 18 when it's illegal could be wrong lol

[CaliKid24]

As long as there's no sex. And depends on the state law

[Harley Quinn]

Well, it can be classed as incest but you're not exactly blood related - and because you're older then him it could seem like "forceful" even though you've not had sex, you've had sexual contact with him, though it may not be wrong to you, the state might think differently. But you'd have to check that out yourself. You may not be blood related but it's against the law to do things with a minor if you're over the age of 16 and the other person isn't, just be careful I guess.

[Continuum]

Since you aren't related to him by blood, and you don't have sex or anything, it's perfectly fine.

[The Dark Lord]

there is nothing legally wrong with it, just depends on your morals

[chrisB463]

Well seeing as your not actually blood related, this should be okay.

[chrissm]

I dont know whether it would be legally classed as incest where you are because clearly you are not blood relatives. Certainly what Siobhan said would be true in the UK, which is that because he is over 16 and you are not it would be classed as a crime on his part for having sexual contact with someone that is below the age of consent. (I think that would apply even if its only a handjob.)

The other question which you need to ask yourself, and which I dont think anyone has mentioned yet, is what it would do to your family if you get found out. If you are slinking into his room at night to sleep with him (not sexually) then the chances of being found out are pretty high. Even if you never have sex you will have trouble making anyone believe that if you are found in his bed. I could see it causing terrible rows and possibly even tearing your parents apart.

[Hockeyplayer1]

Well in the US, its not incest as your not actually related. You may want to look at your states laws as the age of consent changes. I you were to do somethng and get pregnant you would be charged with rape as he isnt old enough to consent to the act. Its different in every state I think.

[SneakBrain]

age difference is not big and u not related to him, so i think no thing wrong with that, beside sometimes i sleep next to my friend (female)

[MisterE]

since hes ur step bro, therfor not related to him by blood, it should be fine, u might want to look up ur state laws though,

[Nickk XD]

I can tell you that if you're in the United States, it's most likely illegal.

All states have age of consent laws, some higher than others. This means if EITHER of you are under the set age, then it is illegal for any sex type acts (including anything remotely related to oral). What you are doing is considered a form of oral.

It really has nothing to do with being related, it has to do with statutory rape laws.

The common age of consent is 18. This means you cannot consent for sex until age 18...at all...including oral.

Some states have laws as low as 14 while others have 16, too.

Some states say it is OK as long as you're within two years of each other while under 18...just depends.

[Jamie]

Ignore the incest posts, entirely irrelevant. His being your step-brother, matters nothing legally. Depending on the age of consent in your area, it may be illegal, but there's usually a 'close-age exemption'. I'd say don't worry about.

[Jamie]

The common age of consent is 18. This means you cannot consent for sex until age 18...at all...including oral.
The most common age of consent is 16. As well, if they're both below the age of consent, it wouldn't be too serious.
Some states have laws as low as 14 while others have 16, too.
No U.S. state has the age of consent as low as 14, or even 15. The lowest age of consent for any U.S. state is 16 years old.
Some states say it is OK as long as you're within two years of each other while under 18...just depends.
3 years*

OP, here's a link you may want to look at. A lot of information for you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

[Nickk XD]

Kentucky has had an age of consent of 14 for a while...however, they just changed it.

A few states have different age of consents depending on your gender.

Indiana is 14 for male and 16 for female

Iowa is also the same.

http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm

I would also like to point out to the OP that it is extremely rare for two minors to get in trouble for sexual acts. I have seen it happen many many times here in California. In other places; however, I haven't seen or heard of it happening.

The most common age of consent is 16. As well, if they're both below the age of consent, it wouldn't be too serious.

No U.S. state has the age of consent as low as 14, or even 15. The lowest age of consent for any U.S. state is 16 years old.

3 years*

OP, here's a link you may want to look at. A lot of information for you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

[mach5]

as long as he gives his consent to all this. otherwise it is sever sexual harassment and possibly rape

[cole]

not illegal but kind of weird

[Jamie]

Kentucky has had an age of consent of 14 for a while...however, they just changed it.

A few states have different age of consents depending on your gender.

Indiana is 14 for male and 16 for female

Iowa is also the same.

http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm

I would also like to point out to the OP that it is extremely rare for two minors to get in trouble for sexual acts. I have seen it happen many many times here in California. In other places; however, I haven't seen or heard of it happening.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#Indiana

Really now?

And for Iowa...

708.9 or 709.8
http://www.pcaiowa.org/sexual_offenses_Iowa_law.html

[sara1220]

I think its totally fine as long as you are both ok with it.

[tGirl]

Thanks for all the replies. I sort of freaked out when my friend said she thought this realtionship was illegal.

I totally understand why some people think it's weird but I've been really thinking about this and personaly I feel it's ok.

Unfortunately, I'm more confused than ever about the legal junk. It seems like my main prob here isn't that he's my stepbro but it's the age difference, right? I had already found t that wikipedia page but I couldn't understand most of it.

Obviously I could just stop what I'm doing but I don't think I could. I'm so in love with him and he lives right here in this house, in the room right next to mine. Believe me, it's really hard for us to keep from going allt he way. hope you all can understand about this

As for causing probs with my family.... well, its' already a mess. My stepbro's dad hasnt lived here for over a yr becuase my mom cheated on him and she's been through 3 more guys since. So I don't care much what she might think, you know?

Anyways... you guys are awesome for talkingg to me about this. I really appreciate it!

ps. In looking back over the replies here, it seems like some are saying that any couples who have sex who are under 16 or even maybe 18 are technicly breaking the law. am I understanding that right?

[joshuathebrainiac]

My bf is my stepbrother. I'm 17 and he's only 14 but honestly he acts more mature than like 90% of the guys in my class .We don't have sex but I do fool around with his penis and stuff quite a bit and sometimes I sneak into his room during the nighta nd sleep with him. I want to say again though we don't have intercourse. I'm a virgin and that wont be changing anytime soon

This has been going on since March and i never told anyone about it until yesterday I told my best friend. she thinks it might be illegal because he's my stepbrother and because of the age difference.

I've been seaching on oGoogle about this (which is how I found this forum)and I think its ok, especially since we don't have intercourse. Does that sound right? I guess I'm also wondering if you all think this relationship is really "wrong" or anything. Me and my stepborther aren't actually related, right?

well you do live in arizona and he would be charged with rape if you did anything because arizona has crazy laws it doesn't matter that he is you STEP-brother because there is no blood relationship. but you are a minor and that makes it rape no matter what

[Jamie]

Thanks for all the replies. I sort of freaked out when my friend said she thought this realtionship was illegal.

I totally understand why some people think it's weird but I've been really thinking about this and personaly I feel it's ok.

Unfortunately, I'm more confused than ever about the legal junk. It seems like my main prob here isn't that he's my stepbro but it's the age difference, right? I had already found t that wikipedia page but I couldn't understand most of it.

Obviously I could just stop what I'm doing but I don't think I could. I'm so in love with him and he lives right here in this house, in the room right next to mine. Believe me, it's really hard for us to keep from going allt he way. hope you all can understand about this

As for causing probs with my family.... well, its' already a mess. My stepbro's dad hasnt lived here for over a yr becuase my mom cheated on him and she's been through 3 more guys since. So I don't care much what she might think, you know?

Anyways... you guys are awesome for talkingg to me about this. I really appreciate it!

ps. In looking back over the replies here, it seems like some are saying that any couples who have sex who are under 16 or even maybe 18 are technicly breaking the law. am I understanding that right?Go for it. I don't think you can put an age of consent on love to be entirely honest, but that's just me. Unless you or him are planning to tell the police, why worry about the legality?

[iamniokekun]

There is an age of consent, yes, but it's not illegal for any age, just frowned upon.

[Jamie]

No, violating the age of consent is illegal.

[Nickk XD]

Also keep in mind that you will become 18.

This makes the case even more serious and you can indefinitely go to prison for illegal sex with a minor when you turn 18.

[dhjgfdgrrr]

I think it depends on where you live...but I think it's wrong...even though he's not blood related it's still pretty close!

[Inconvenience]

it's imply wrong, cant u find somebody else not to attach to ur bro? oops excuse me, ur step- bro

[scuba steve]

My bf is my stepbrother. I'm 17 and he's only 14 but honestly he acts more mature than like 90% of the guys in my class .We don't have sex but I do fool around with his penis and stuff quite a bit and sometimes I sneak into his room during the nighta nd sleep with him. I want to say again though we don't have intercourse. I'm a virgin and that wont be changing anytime soon

This has been going on since March and i never told anyone about it until yesterday I told my best friend. she thinks it might be illegal because he's my stepbrother and because of the age difference.

I've been seaching on oGoogle about this (which is how I found this forum)and I think its ok, especially since we don't have intercourse. Does that sound right? I guess I'm also wondering if you all think this relationship is really "wrong" or anything. Me and my stepborther aren't actually related, right?

i would say that it would be more socially unecceptable than illegal basically a modern day taboo as it could be seen as incest to some folk. to me it sounds like it would be ok but others may be sceptical taking in the that your both legally related and there's quite a large age gap, whith the relationship becoming technically illegal once you turn 18 if there is any intercourse involved, as your boyfriend will only be 15, below the legal requirment age to take part in sexual intercourse

[tGirl]

Thnaks again for the replies. especially to Josh who lives in AZ like I do.

Jeez I hadnt even thought about what happens whenI turn 18 next yr. All these laws suck and they seem arbitrary and unfair to me. I mean at least half the kids in my class have sex. or at least they say they do . So it really bugs me that it seems to be illegal for me to do much of anythimg with my stepbro just because he's a couple yrs younger (our actual age difference is 2 yrs, 6 months.

But you know what? I've been worrying nd worrying about this for 3 days and suddenly this afternoon I relaized.... I'm just not willing to give up this relationship. No matter what the law says or what people might think. I personally think its ok and most people here seem to agree. So i I'm just going to continue with our relationship, but still no intercourse. I can see where that might be a problem for us both legally and emotionaly.

I'm so glad I found this forum. I would have driven myself crazy about this if I hadnt been able to talk to you all. THANKS GUYS!!

[Zackk]

I dont think its illigal. but your parents might think it weird as fuck

[Powerline]

I dont really see a problem with it but you should still be cautious especially about the state laws because even though you are not blood related they still might consider him to be family

[qawsedrftg]

well your not blood relatives, so its not incest or anything, and as long as you do not have sex while ur parents are married, it is legal.

[Jamie]

False, the matter of that being her step-brother doesn't have anything to do with legality.

[ror.]

i think it's weird but shouldnt be illegal

[vice]

My bf is my stepbrother. I'm 17 and he's only 14

In case you didn't find the answer, for most states and countries the law allows intercourse for minors if they are within 4 years. For example, the law may allow intercourse between a 17 yo and a 14 yo. But when the person turns 18, s/he becomes an adult. In that case it becomes illegal for an adult to have sex with a minor.

[neigh]

this is a really good question. yep a good one 4 sure.
really u are not blood realations -- u r step bro. and sis.
just because your mom and dad r jerks does not mean u have to be -
i have no problem with the age range. do u go to same school ? u know how some people r if they find out -- i guess u live in the same house. --
--- i thought about this : i think u and your step brother should remain just that. sound like to me that u have enough on your plate with family problems. i would find another
guy. and for him another girl. just think if u 2 would to make a mistake and have a
kid. man your old man would go off the wall and your mom 2. zip his pants up and be good brothers and sisters love --- good luck -

[solosarah]

Mehhhh. Look at it as, what if you had been dating befor your parents hooked up. I see nothing wrong with it, but in the long run you'll have to move to another town and make new friends.

[Joey15]

Yea you really need to know the age of consent in your state.

[Alex_.-]

depends on the law in ur location, i don't think so in most places, but it is def out of the norm and "taboo"

[Judas]

It's kind of odd but since you're not blood-related it should be fine.

[applenerd15]

As long as there's no sex. And depends on the state law

yah no sex no arrest

[irishboi102]

i think since ur step bros u could even have sex with him untill you hit 18, one ur 18 u would be overage and he would be uner age but as of now i think u should be fine

[neigh]

normal if u r form west virginia

[zoeygirl]

no i dont think it is. sure would make having sex and fooling arould a lot easier cuz your in the same house lol

[Jhon]

It's all about your morals.

[UnknownError]

Im not going to answaer the actual question since its already been answered, but what do your parents think about this?

[ryanmichael]

as long as ur with a 4 year age and not blood ur fine

[smitty35]

it depends on what state. We all know that each state has its own laws and restrictions. I think that if you aren't blood related then you two should be fine...BUT your parents wont be to happy...

[Spook]

If you haven't had intercourse, then I do not think it could be classified as illegal. If you were touching him against his will it could be, however.To have intercourse your age would have to be within two years of each other, according to the law. I would not suggest doing those "things" with him because it could affect your relationship with him. Be careful and take care, Caitlin

[Fact]

Please don't bump old threads.

:locked: