Log in

View Full Version : Vicious Cycle of Self Hate


Art_dude
June 8th, 2010, 05:51 PM
Prepare yourselves for an undoubtedly long wall of text. If you read through all of this I commend you in advance....

I just had the worst possible day in a long time. But I think what makes the harshness of this drop in sanity even worse than it is, is the fact that it's happening after a long period (probably about a year or more) of numb recovery from some dysthymic depression. Basically what happened was that my laptop's hard-drive completely and utterly died. I took it to the apple store for a diagnosis only to meet the most unsympathetic ass who told me I'd have ship my computer to a data recovery service in California if I wanted any chance of retreiving my work. I was on the verge of tears, and he just wasn't explaining anything. Here I am in this store close to hysterics saying, "Look, I'm homeschooled, all of my schoolwork is done on my computer and emailed to my teachers... I haven't backed up my work on an external hard drive in over a month... my end of the year deadline is less than four weeks away and I was SOOO close to finishing early..." And he just gives me a shrug. Basically, I'm just thankful I backed it up a month ago and not several months ago - so technically I didn't lose EVERYTHING, but I have about half a year's worth of work of U.S. Government papers GONE. The service in California costs anywhere from $700 to $1,300 IF they can recover it. The man on the phone was extremely nice and said there is a good chance they can recover it (If they can recover stuff from computers surviving fires, they better be able to recover a couple dozen word documents.) But nonetheless, it would take a couple business days to get there... 2 or 3 days to assess the damage, and a whole week to recover and ship back to me. My school deadline is July 8th. I'm fucked. I can ask for an extension but it costs my parents a small fine which they're not too thrilled about... My mother pretty much gloated with "I told you so's" the minute I walked in the door sobbing. I can't remember the last time I cried... as stressful a situation this is, I'm kind of grateful for it... I didn't know I could feel so low. I felt like I really numbed myself this year.

Anyway then the downward spiral began... All of my inadequacies of my entire young adult life piled on top of one another and the old Alex I so very hated came back to haunt me and use this computer incident as an example of how worthless a human being I am... how my own laziness (or whatever it was that made me forget to back up my work) cost me so much. I knew the year was ending too good to be true. Something had to fuck it up. And it was me. Maybe it's a subconscious masochistic motivation to trip myself up but I doubt it at this point... the consequences are too severe to secretly wish upon myself. Anyway, Sorry for this being so scattered... I don't know what to think or feel right now. Thankfully I've been crying nonstop for the past two hours so I'm done with that. And as cliche as it sounds I don't have any tears left. Anyway, respond if you want. Sorry for taking up space. I seem to do that a lot in my life.. (oh great. here comes the self pity again... GOD what the fuck is wrong with me?)

1_21Guns
June 8th, 2010, 06:18 PM
:hug:
everyone makes mistakes. even things like that.
its not like you broke the laptop, just being a human being you forgot to back it up.
don't appologise for taking up space, infact stop appologising full stop because none of it is really your fault.
it'll start getting better hun.
PM/VM me if you need to talk to someone, anytime.

Scarface
June 8th, 2010, 06:47 PM
Your computer situation sure sounds like a rough situation. Remember this is not your fault. It's not like you personally broke the computer. Things happen and mistakes are made. You're not taking up space, I'm glad you're talking about it because letting all these worry's and feeling fester and grow will only make the matters worse.

I know this situation may look hopeless right now, but get into a more positive mentality and hope for the best.Computer problems are unexpected and come at almost always the worst possible time so don't ever blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault.

Customer service representatives are the worst probably next to DMV people. They're mean unhelpful and couldn't give two shits whether you were helped or not. I hope your computer gets fixed and you are able to recover all of your information. Hope everything works out and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here. VM/Pm me anytime

Art_dude
June 8th, 2010, 07:07 PM
Thank you both so much. What you both said is exactly what I needed right now. Tomorrow I can work out the logistics and make myself a schedule/plan, but as of right now I just need to stop blaming myself, and try calm the fuck down. Guess I won't be having a summer this year. Oh well :/ Thanks again. I'll PM one of you guys soon. As of right now I'm using my sister's desktop, but I'm probably gonna be off VT for the next few days as I sort stuff out. Thanks for the support :) makes me feel like at least I have a support network. Props to my VT FAM :D lol

Sith Lord 13
June 8th, 2010, 07:18 PM
:hug:

Hey Alex,

I'll be honest, you sound a hell of a lot like me. You feel like shit, and then you feel even worse for feeling like shit. It's a vicious cycle.

Here's my idealistic advice: Tell your parents to fuck off, you didn't crash the hard drive, it's not your fault. If they have a problem with this, they can figure out a way to fix the hard drive themselves.

Unfortunately that usually does more harm.

My realistic advice: Realize it's not your fault. Hard drives crap out. It happens. It's not your fault. You can't back up your data everyday. It's not practical. It's not your fault. It wasn't you. It wasn't your laziness. It was a stupid piece of hardware. It was bad luck.

I know it can be hard to believe that, that it was all just random, that it wasn't your fault. But it wasn't.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

daisym
June 30th, 2010, 06:10 AM
Self-hate is a mental slavery that results in poverty, ignorance and crime. Self-hate is a vicious cycle that leads to self-destruction. It fills the world with hate and people with despair. The only way to get out of the cycle of self-hate is to allow yourself to believe the world is waiting for who you are becoming. What the world must do is let every being know they are appreciated and welcomed simply for being who they are.