meeting birth parents for the first time... any advice?

[Asylum]

so my parents said when i'm 18 they will give me details about birth parents, and i can go find them. here is basically all i know about them.. mom was 18... and daddy... well his name that she gave the social workers and peopel didn't exsist... so he doens't exsist in society.. so i may not be able to find him.. however i can still find her.. however there is tihs.. she might not want to meet me... all these other conflics, what if she is a drug addict? then she might depen on me to help her finance her drugs.. . she lived in the really bad part of the city.. yup thats basically it.. now i'm turnign 17 in winter... so i have a whole year to wait... but its still appraoching fast.. i remeber when i was little.. i thought i'd never know her.. or she'd die of old age or soemthing, i had strange fantasies.. as an adopted kid my first thought was she didn't love me...she gav me up because she didn't want to deal with me.. now i think and look back and maybe she wanted a better life for me... who knows? but ... i'm going to meet her in a year.. i'm nervous.. and i dont' know if she is up for that... my real question is.. has anyone been through this process before? and can help me through it? because its eating me up insdie...

[Kaius]

I've been through it. I met my birth parents for the first time when i was 14. I found out i was adopted about 2 months before i found them. Its not an easy thing to find out. The first thing i found out was i was a twin, well the unexpected one. The only things to go through my mind were "Why did they keep him? Why not me?" Tbh it made me resent him, being the one they kept. It took me a long while to find out the truth, i was quite sickly as a baby being the smaller one. While my father was and still is a complete dick, i was put up for adoption in my best interest of a family that could support me better. I was a nervous wreck the day i met them. What would they look like, would i look like them? Would they like me? To this day im still in touch with my mum and brother, my father and her divorced last year at some point.

At the end of the day, there's no point assuming these things because you're going to get yourself so worked up you'll go into a panic. Its natural to wonder those things, the reasons and things but you won't know until you find out so try not to take anything to heart. When you meet your mother, you might be able to ask her for your dads real name or even better she might help you to find him herself. You've just got to be patient until the time comes. If you need to talk you know where i am.

[ryker]

I hope it goes well for you. It will be hard at first but remember how important it is for you

[Eskimo]

You need to know that she could be anyone, any type of person, and you need to accept whatever outcome you receive, my best advice is to not set standard hopes too low or too high.