Gone

[Mattyboy2]

I needed somewhere to help myself adjust or accept or i don't know what all i know is i need this.
my mum was in a car crash...
thats the first time i've said it since its happened, it was a month ago 1st may 2010... a day i'll never forget
WHY ME!?

People have tried to help me but they don't understand what its like to lose the only person who cares
I have a bag of her clothes which i keep in my room, they said it would help but it doesn't help anything, but i cant let go of it

my new family, my grandparents, they just get on with their lives like nothing, i can see my nan is different but my papa just reads the paper as always, its like they dont realise whats happened

i want to believe shes ina better place, but how can i beleive that she would be in the care of soemthing that took her from me!? sometimes i need to DO something to stop FEELINGS i don't know what feelings yet and i don't want to... my grandparents house is practically bare because of the things of ruined, broken, smashed, defaced, punched, kicked... or cried into

how can anyone get over it? how do people deal with it? i'm desperately afraid of what might happen if i don't DEAL with it... but that idea makes me sick... how can anyone begin to DEAL with it!?!?!?

help.... i need it.

[chrissm]

Matt, sorry for your loss. A month is no time at all, its only just happened really, its going to take a lot more time than that for you to come to terms with it. Think what your mother would want for you. What hopes she may have had to see you growing up, becoming a man, living your own life. She would still want all of those things for you and you must live for her to make them come true.

[steve1234]

Very sorry to hear about your loss.
You say everyone seems to be getting on with their lives. This may seem so, but this might be their way of coping with this tragedy, just getting on with life. I know when my grandpa died, i just pretended it didn't happen.
Maybe you shouldn't worry about trying to deal with it. It should come naturally, and if you worry about it, it will probably be worse.
This is probably something you will never get over, but you will eventually get used to her not being around, and just live with it.
You are not alone, this sort of thing happens to everyone at one point in their lives.
My friend's dad was involved in a hit and run accident a couple of months ago, and he died. His family set up a charity in his memory, so some good has come out of his tragic death.

I really hope I have been helpful, but I haven't had the experience of a parent dying, so I don't know what its like.

[georgiamay]

first of all, i'm sorry for your loss x
one month is nothing, so i'm not surprised you're not over it really. it will take a lot longer than that. just keep going, keep moving forward. it will take a while, and it will be hard, but you can do it. just never forget her. keep her in your memory, and carry on with life.

i think your grandparents are just trying to put on a brave face for you, or for themselves for that matter, but they've lost someone extremely close to them aswell, so i'm sure they are feeling just as horrible as you are now.

it's normal to feel the way you are, everyone does.

i think the thing you need to remember, is that you cant really ever completely get over it. you will always miss your mum, and thats the same for everyone, but you can turn that feeling into a possitive thing. you can remember all the good times you've had together, and miss them, but you can also be happy that you had them times. think about her life. it will take a while to get there. i know it seems horrible, but you will feel like crap for a long time. but after a while you will get better, and you will start to remember all the good times, and you will be able to carry on with your life. i'm sure your mum would want you to move on.

you can PM me if you ever need to talk, or just vent and rant. again, i'm really sorry for your loss x

[Eskimo]

I'm so sorry to hear that I don't know how I would cope if my mom died, I think they all mourn for her loss but are too afraid to show it.

[Iron Man]

I am sorry for your loss. Your grandfather might be in a subtle state of denial, which explains his behavior. It might hurt now, because it was so sudden, but she couldn`t have lived forever. Reality bites, but it is reality nonetheless. In time, you will be able to accept the loss.

[Mattyboy2]

thanks to everyone who posted.
I've decided to use a blog for this so that i can write down all my feelings and worries in one place so if you are interested (not that i can see why u would be) here is the link:
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/blog.php?b=3663

[georgiamay]

thats a good thing to do matt well done :) better to do that than bottle it all up.

[Mike321]

Writing the blog is a good thing, it help you to let out your feeling instead of keeping them bottled up.
And i'm really sorry for your loss, I couldnt imagine loosing my mo.
I think your grandparents are just putting on a brave face and it might be their way of coping with it
PM me if you need to talk
And once again sorry to hear about your loss

[HellHound]

Man,just thinking about loosing ur mum makes me sad.ur story made me cry,no doubt she was great.cant really find my words,what i can say is you can pm me any time,ill reply as soon as i can