starbrite5
June 1st, 2010, 10:39 PM
So, yeah. Just a rant...
I don't even think my parents get it. It's like, they're always comparing my sister and I, and it pisses me off. It's one of those things I just think parents really shouldn't do. Anyway, they think it's all right around me because I'm normally on the better side of the comparison. But that doesn't make it okay! It makes me worried that my sister will hate me, and even more so that they won't love me or something if I don't keep it up. And even if that pressure is all in my head, it sucks.
Like today, while waiting for her graduation to start, my dad's all like, "You're just always so cool and mellow. You're like a saint, you know that right?" and later, "I expect these next 3 years to be a whole lot less stressful. Never make us worry you won't graduate like your sister did." And I love my dad, he's a really cool guy, but comments like that make me feel like they would love me less or talk about me behind my back if they knew that I actually feel numb and depressed most of the time, and that I get angry easily, and that I cut myself. And my mom's always so stressed and passive-aggressive that I'm always worried about stressing her out more...
I don't know... I just needed to vent. Sorry for the huge wall of text...
I don't even think my parents get it. It's like, they're always comparing my sister and I, and it pisses me off. It's one of those things I just think parents really shouldn't do. Anyway, they think it's all right around me because I'm normally on the better side of the comparison. But that doesn't make it okay! It makes me worried that my sister will hate me, and even more so that they won't love me or something if I don't keep it up. And even if that pressure is all in my head, it sucks.
Like today, while waiting for her graduation to start, my dad's all like, "You're just always so cool and mellow. You're like a saint, you know that right?" and later, "I expect these next 3 years to be a whole lot less stressful. Never make us worry you won't graduate like your sister did." And I love my dad, he's a really cool guy, but comments like that make me feel like they would love me less or talk about me behind my back if they knew that I actually feel numb and depressed most of the time, and that I get angry easily, and that I cut myself. And my mom's always so stressed and passive-aggressive that I'm always worried about stressing her out more...
I don't know... I just needed to vent. Sorry for the huge wall of text...