Do you uys ever feel...different?

[Aceso]

Removed

[Marcie]

yeah, I feel pretty much exactly the same way...
I almost like having cuts all over my arm or side or where ever I did it.
When I looked down at them I would smile, but then feel sick, I had conflicting emotions about them... Now when I look at my scars I kinda like them.. pretty much for the reasons you gave above..

[Fiction]

I know exactly what you mean. I love the cuts being there and they make me feel safe, like you said. I think its jsut knowing that whatever happens, whatever people say or do, i'll always have cutting. it won't leave me. But i know it's not right. I know i shouldn't do it and i don't really want to do it. And the scars mean that i can't ever take back what i've done. Even if i stop it'll still be there. And what you said about it being an essential part of your body... I can't remember not having scars to hide and things :P

[starbrite5]

Exactly! Your description seemed stolen from my brain. I like being able to see them, to have something that is solely my own. I'll even find them fascinating some days. But then other times they make me feel disgusted with myself, like something that should be gone with a single blink.

[xgeekyrocksx]

i didnt know other people felt like that aswell. but although i know i like the cuts and scars i... sort of...dont? i guess you pretty much described it though...

[MadManWithaBox]

Well i have scars. But I see them as a point of pride, of strength. If people don't like them, they can fuck off.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Yep that is me all over. For me, my scars were my way of telling myself no matter what shit happened I would have something to fall back on. Made me feel safe and I'd go so far as to say comforted.

[xXdamienXx]

[QUOTE=Wild Untamed;895913]Hey guys, recently I have been getting some wierd emotions about my cutting. Do you guys ever get some of these? e.g:

Before I started cutting again I was glad they were gone, but somehow I still felt they were there
Sometimes I almost like having them there...It makes me feel unique, my own private world wich only I can get to.
I can relate to that....

[Asylum]

When i used to cut, I felt happy. It made me glad to see what I did to myself, for I beleive I deserved it. The deeper, was the better in my eyes, an accomplishmnt. I felt like they needed to be their, they were apart of me. The more the better also. When I'd carve words and symbols it was art. It was pretty and red and I loved having so many. However I'd look down at them sometimes and feel sck and nausiated because I was so disgusted by the way they looked. Everything about them made me sick. Trying to hide it from people made me sick also in fea someoen would see or find out.

[Mike321]

I know what you mean, I loved to see the scars and cuts that I left on my arm, I knew it was something I did myself and could always be able to do it.
But other times I felt ashamed of them, if I was out with people incase they saw them.
Like you said, its sort of hard to explain

[Aceso]

wow, i diddnt realise so many people thought the same way as me...

Another emotion i kind of feel is I feel different in a bad way, like having a disability. I know cutting isnt a disability, but it almost makes me feel special...anyone agree?