falling back

[Asylum]

so I think i realized a few other reasons why I'm barely eating anything. Its not just the want to be thin, it mostly is, but there are other reasons too.. I have control over it.. I can control how much I eat, when I eat, if I eat, how much I weigh, ad how skinny I am. I like having this control. I don't really have control over anything in my life. This is how I felt with cutting. I oculd control how much blood, how deep I went, how many... I'm not a control freak... but.. like it' hard to explain... Now that I'm trying to get over self harm, the need to be thin rises. Especially because summer is almost here... I feel so fat.. when I eat it hurts.. when I eat I feel guilt and huge!! People say I'm not fat.. I'm 5"6 and 112 lbs now. Well last time i weighed myself. My friend gave me some advice.. He told me not to look in mirror nad not to weigh myself. I haven't weighed myself, but I can't avoid mirrors. This is what is keeping me from eating the whole Im going o have to wear a bathing suit soon... the whole looking in the mirror and seeing myself with huge thihgs, double chin, and a gouging stomach.. So in all and all it's the wanting to be thin iwht the need to control.. I guess.. i really don't know.. It's not like i'm not tryingi to eat or change my mentality of thinking I am... But I'll be walkign or in school and compare myself to other people.. and tha makes it worse...

[Scarface]

Try changing your routine. Instead of weighing yourself everyday do it every other day. Even though mirrors are unavoidable just look at your face don't concentrate on anything else. I know the feeling of guilt eating it's a hard thing to conquer, but your at a really good weight I wouldn't be concerned about that.

Don't compare yourself to other people, because that just makes it another thing to worry about and to be self-conscious about and you really don't need that. Don't be so concerned about what others are going to say or those delusions of looking fat because your obviously not.

Get some better eating habits. eat a really nutritious breakfast in the morning to give you energy and snack on smaller healthy things throughout the day regiment your diet. Take a teen girls multi-vitamin to ensure that your getting the daily minerals that you need because fasting is not a good way to lose weight in the end you only gain it back and sometimes more once you consume a larger daily consumption of calories a day.

Summer is right around the corner just breathe and regiment yourself with a healthy daily amount of calories and you will still look fabulous in your swim suit. I hope things work out. If you ever need someone to talk to shoot me a VM anytime I'm always here.

[Asylum]

Thank you Ronnie, I'll try that :)