i'm a very sick girl. i just dont know whats wrong with me.

[1_21Guns]

i know i have some form of mental illness or something.
i just dont know what it is.
the voices.
the paranoia.
everything i do adds up to something.
i just cant figure what it is.
when i talked to a friend about it, he thinks i have skitz.
but i don't.. i dont think so anyway.
all i know is i've been poorly for as long as i can remember.
i dont really know what this post's even about.
i'm just ill and i can do nothing about it.
i just want to know whats so wrong with me.
theres something. i just don't know what it is.

[Thrash Bassist]

I think you should talk to your parents and get some therapy.
Your parents will be able to help you a lot.

It does sound a lot like Skitz to me too.

[1_21Guns]

I think you should talk to your parents and get some therapy.
Your parents will be able to help you a lot.

It does sound a lot like Skitz to me too.

I wish it was that simple. everythings that complicated in my family i cant do anything about any of it at the moment. i know i ought to say something and do something about whats going on. but i just cant.

[Thrash Bassist]

I wish it was that simple. everythings that complicated in my family i cant do anything about any of it at the moment. i know i ought to say something and do something about whats going on. but i just cant.

I'm sorry to hear this...

Why can't you talk to your parents?

[1_21Guns]

I'm sorry to hear this...

Why can't you talk to your parents?

well for a start my mums stressed out because of something going on with my auntie which is stressing the whole family out.
i don't have a good relationship with either of my parents, if i even dared to tell my mum she'd tell me to shut up and that i was over dramatizing as usual.
and i dont even see or speak to my dad.
i could tell my grandma, in a way, but she's like the only member of my family i really dont want to upset... so i couldnt bring myself to do that.

[Thrash Bassist]

well for a start my mums stressed out because of something going on with my auntie which is stressing the whole family out.
i don't have a good relationship with either of my parents, if i even dared to tell my mum she'd tell me to shut up and that i was over dramatizing as usual.
and i dont even see or speak to my dad.
i could tell my grandma, in a way, but she's like the only member of my family i really dont want to upset... so i couldnt bring myself to do that.

Well, I really don't know what to tell you except, maybe you can talk to your school cousler?

[misery_business]

Well, I really don't know what to tell you except, maybe you can talk to your school cousler?

I think this would be the best idea. Last time I talked to my school yaer leader she said she could help me but she had to have a signature from my parents to have propper help, you don't have to involve you parents that much in it anyway ubt just have to get their permission.
Hope you can get help soon ! XXX

[1_21Guns]

Well, I really don't know what to tell you except, maybe you can talk to your school cousler?

I think this would be the best idea. Last time I talked to my school yaer leader she said she could help me but she had to have a signature from my parents to have propper help, you don't have to involve you parents that much in it anyway ubt just have to get their permission.
Hope you can get help soon ! XXX

we dont have a school counceller, the best thing we have is a mentor system. funny thing is, i'm one of them...

[misery_business]

we dont have a school counceller, the best thing we have is a mentor system. funny thing is, i'm one of them...

how about asking one of your teachers?

[1_21Guns]

how about asking one of your teachers?

im not really close to any of them to do that, or none i'd really feel comfortable talking to.

[misery_business]

im not really close to any of them to do that, or none i'd really feel comfortable talking to.

So there is no one at all in your school you could talk to ?
I used to be really uncomfortable when I talked to my head of year but I knew i had to because I was getting help.
How about your doctor or any family members ?

[1_21Guns]

So there is no one at all in your school you could talk to ?
I used to be really uncomfortable when I talked to my head of year but I knew i had to because I was getting help.
How about your doctor or any family members ?

nope. i wont let myself into uncomfortable situations.
i see that many doctors whenever i have to go for whatever reason, i havent really built a realtionship with one.
and im kinda detached from my family as such. i dont really talk to any of them.

[misery_business]

If you don't open out more to people you won't be able to get any help. Is it just that you don't trust anybody ?

[1_21Guns]

to a point i guess. i've never really said anything to anybody around me about it all. like the guy who thinks i have skitz (even though i really think i dont) was just an online friend.

[CaliKid24]

maybe depersonalization disorder??

[1_21Guns]

maybe depersonalization disorder??

i really have no idea...

[misery_business]

What I think is that you could just go to your doctor's and maybe find out, and they could at east give you some advice or they could help you know more about it if you do have skitz. Its just what I think would be best.

[1_21Guns]

What I think is that you could just go to your doctor's and maybe find out, and they could at east give you some advice or they could help you know more about it if you do have skitz. Its just what I think would be best.

probably would be, its just not that simple to do that. it never is.

[misery_business]

probably would be, its just not that simple to do that. it never is.

I know its not simple. I had to go through alot aswel just to find out that I did have a mental disorder. but it may be worth it, if you really want to get help, nothing is going to be that easy. :) plus you can always have people who support you :) from your friends, family or even here in VT :)

[CaliKid24]

do things seem like u are in a dream?

[1_21Guns]

do things seem like u are in a dream?

sometimes. i dont really know. i try not to think about it or what it could be too much incase i make it worse.

[Hanyo]

Natalie, the brain is quite complicated, so it might be skitz, or it might not, or it could be a "type" of skitz, or a combination of things, or something else. Like I said, the brain is quite complicated and even "experts" don't understand it that well. So labels like skitz, bi-polar, multiple-personalities, OCD etc... are just names for trends of behaviors. So what you have seems to show characteristics of skitz, but it could be something else, or something that is just similar to it in some ways.

For example, people with phobias may have multiple phobias at the same time, or people with depression may also have some traits of OCD, and eating disorders.

So yeah, you may have something completely new/unique, or you may have something that doctors have seen before.

Its good that you are aware that something is wrong. Please take the next step and try to get professional help, I've been there, its worth it, and the sooner the better. These things generally tend to get worse over time if you take the "wait and see" approach.

I think your grandma is your best choice for support in your family, and she can try to help get you in touch with a good doctor etc. Don't worry about upsetting her. She's your grandmother, and loves you right? So she would be happy to help you however she can, and she would probably be happy that out of everyone in your family, you chose her to go to for help.

Please be brave and go get yourself taken care of, and let me know how it goes :)

[Syvelocin]

Yeah, like Hanyo said, you can have multiple things going on. Me personally, yeah, well, my psychiatrist thinks I might have early signs of schizo, but at the same time you can be diagnosed like me where I'm bipolar, which is probably the roots of the voices I hear because bipolar disorder can harbor hallucinations, and I'm also an extremely paranoid OCD. There's a lot more to schizo than voices and paranoia :)

[1_21Guns]

Yeah, like Hanyo said, you can have multiple things going on. Me personally, yeah, well, my psychiatrist thinks I might have early signs of schizo, but at the same time you can be diagnosed like me where I'm bipolar, which is probably the roots of the voices I hear because bipolar disorder can harbor hallucinations, and I'm also an extremely paranoid OCD. There's a lot more to schizo than voices and paranoia :)

yeah i know there is, and i really dont think i have that XD, maybe its nothing.. i dont know.

[Kaya]

I know how you feel. I hear voices, and Im very paranoid as well. They said I have MDD.

[allsoulsareblack]

i havnt told my doc that i have verry sick forts because i think he wouldnt let me leave and i would end up in a aslyum