I wish I was my old self...

[dead]

Well its been like 3 or 4 years of having depression now and its just started getting a bit better then just recently stopped. Right now i'm suicidal and lonely as fuck. Haven't hanged out with a fucking friend for like a month or two now even though I only have a couple friends now because I lost most of them [which were assholes anyway] because of me trying to commit suicide awhile ago, all I pretty much do is stay inside all day and sleep, but when I goto school its usually the same goddamn thing. I wish I was like my old self when I did drugs and steal and break laws and was insane. None of this shit helped me, but atleast I was doing something with my life rather than sleeping most of the day away. The constant fighting in my house is really killing me not to mention the house ice thin from going into foreclosure, I wish my Mom would just move back home and bring Me and my sisters, that would help here so much and would help most of the shit Rowan and Bree are having. I have no idea why I wrote this other than it being a rant.

[Scarface]

Well you know the friends that have still stuck by you means that they really care. You don't have to have a lot of friends just having those friends is good keep them close to you. You're really going through an awful lot. You definitely don't want to go back to your old ways that only gets you no where. You need to step back reflect and analyze the things you do and make the change for the better. Killing yourself is not an option you have to think optimistically as hard as that may seem. Start hanging out with your friends and find yourself, be who you are don't let drugs or your past dictate who you are or who you should become. Don't let addictions or old habits stand in your way. Improvise adapt and overcome. I know you can do it Connor. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here.