what can i do

[Billy15]

ok like i really do love my parents and their not bad parents or anything but they are total homophobes and guess what, im 95% sure that iam gay and have no way to be myself without totally crushing them or losing their respect for me. a while back my mom busted me by reading an online convo
that i had with a boy from vt (i forgot to delete it) and there was some talk about sexual stuff in there and even though i tried to play it off, she has been on my back ever since and thats the main reason i havent been on vt for a while and i really missed you guys because this place is my only outlet.

my dad owns a construction business (all man, all straight) and we live in rural tennessee. my mom is all into the church and totally believes that being gay is a sin and that gay people are going to hell so what do i do? how can i ever be open with them or be myself or have a bf or even get on here without worrying that they will look over my shoulder or snoop into what i am doing?

things are a little better now but the only reason they are is because i lied and told my mother that if she doesn't believe me, then ill just kill myself and then she wont have to worry about it anymore and ever since i said that things have been a little better but i am still so sad because i feel so lost and feel like i will never be able to be myself or be free as long as i live here.

[nick]

I'm sorry for you to be in that situation. You may just have to keep up the secrecy until you are old enough to go to college or leave home, either that or be honest with them and hope they have the sense to see that they love you just the same.

[AlwaysConfused]

my parents are too. they dnt know what i think about whats goin thru my head and what i may be. but its like i would neva tell them would u?

[penguin13]

I really do not know what to say to you; I remember when you were first telling me about what was going on and I have the same message for you now as I did a few months back then.
Stay strong, be brave. Don't let anyone put you down, there is nothing wrong with us gay people!

[Perseus]

If it ever comes to it, tell them that every sin in the eyes of the Lord are the same, if I'm correct. If they hate you for being gay, they should hate their selves for lying and other sins they've committed, and they aren't doing their duties as Christians with loving everyone, if they hate gay people.

[PatrickZii]

Hi. So I am kind of in the exact same situation that you are in. If I had any great advice, I'd give it to yo in a heart beat. Sadly, I don't :(

[ray8806]

If it ever comes to it, tell them that every sin in the eyes of the Lord are the same, if I'm correct. If they hate you for being gay, they should hate their selves for lying and other sins they've committed, and they aren't doing their duties as Christians with loving everyone, if they hate gay people.

Exactly. I'm a Christian and I love everyone. Even gay people. Yes I think that homosexuality is a sin, but so is lying, cheating, cursing, and many other things that occur on a daily basis. Everyone sins. It's human nature. So yea, if your mom hates you for being gay, then that's not very Christian at all.

ANYWAY, I was in the same boat for about a year(I'm 16)...until lately. I've really grown out of my gay phase(for the most part..:p). But that was for me. Maybe you will stick with it. Anyway, that's all you. I don't have any say or action in that.

Like someone above me said, you could wait until you are on your own so then it sort of doesn't matter what they think of you. OR you could sit them down in the living room, let everyone get comfortable WITHOUT the TV on, and have a serious conversation about it. Tell your parents that you're gay and that you hope they understand and still love you. If you play the sympathetic card, you should win over your mom. Your dad may flip out or be like 'Whatever". I've heard both.

BUT there is this one VERY gay guy at my school. He's done EVERYTHING with a guy and has had many boyfriends, but his parents still doesn't know. He tells his friends that his parents don't know yet, and we don't say anything to them b/c that is not our place.

IDK, all-in-all, it comes down to what YOU want to do.

[cristian123]

thats a pretty bad situation, you should of never said that you were going to kill your self because then your mom might put you into conseling, then shes going to tell your dad.......you should of thought it through a little my friend.
billy please dont do anything stupid :(

[javs262]

well, i dont know how your parents react with this, but i use my parents religion on them, because they force the religion on me. when she gets mad at me for missing church, then i say "mom, Christianity is a religion based off of forgiveness, im pretty sure god will overlook 1 missed day" or when she tries grounding me for missing a day I say "who are you to punish me on this matter? as far as im concerned, this is a religious matter, and God tends to those, so pretty much, you are playing God by judging me on this small matter of religion. you do your job and God will do their job."

i would not recommend using these unless you are willing to put up with the consequences your parents will serve, because super-Christians are almost as scary as an alpaca out of fucking no where.

but. if you want the guaranteed safe way then yeah, do what nick said and just wait until you leave the nest.

[Kahn]

ok like i really do love my parents and their not bad parents or anything but they are total homophobes and guess what, im 95% sure that iam gay and have no way to be myself without totally crushing them or losing their respect for me. a while back my mom busted me by reading an online convo
that i had with a boy from vt (i forgot to delete it) and there was some talk about sexual stuff in there and even though i tried to play it off, she has been on my back ever since and thats the main reason i havent been on vt for a while and i really missed you guys because this place is my only outlet.

my dad owns a construction business (all man, all straight) and we live in rural tennessee. my mom is all into the church and totally believes that being gay is a sin and that gay people are going to hell so what do i do? how can i ever be open with them or be myself or have a bf or even get on here without worrying that they will look over my shoulder or snoop into what i am doing?

things are a little better now but the only reason they are is because i lied and told my mother that if she doesn't believe me, then ill just kill myself and then she wont have to worry about it anymore and ever since i said that things have been a little better but i am still so sad because i feel so lost and feel like i will never be able to be myself or be free as long as i live here.

What I suggest is talking to your mother privately about it. Hiding in secrecy and feeling like you are suppressed is and will make you depressed. It is scary I know. Talking about your sexuality alone is indifferent when coming to parents but opening up can save a lot of stress now than later. If your parents love you they should accept you for who you are.

I know it is a sad situation but you'll pull through it. A lot of other people have done it and so can you. If you need any more help PM me.

[BlackBetty]

You can't change who you are inside. If you're gay, you're gay, you can't help that. Be you're self because there is simply nothing you can do to change it.

If they really love you, they will accept who you are.

[Shortkid]

Sounds like a really tough situation to be in. I think I'm probably gay too (80% sure), but I really don't think I could tell my parents--at least while I still live at home. I have a kind of bf but we have no problem keeping it unnoticed. Do you think it would be hard for you to keep a bf relationship under your parents radar? They probably would never suspect, and once you leave home then you could let them "find out" if that might make you feel better. Just some thoughts.

[Soccerkix]

maybe your parents will change their minds when its their kid, somebody they already love and look out for

[hrecknoall]

I totally know where you're coming from, I feel that I don't have an outlet either. Just be as open as you can be, but don't push it. It's better for you to come out when you aren't dependent on them...after all you don't want them to send you to some sort of camp :/

[Thylacine]

Billy its not a sin to be yourself. Any good Christian knows that and I'm sure your parents will. Theres a difference between being gay and actually have a sexual relationship with someone which is another step entirely. But I can I see your dilemma. I'm sure your parents love you very much and I'm sure that is much more important to them than your sexuality. Whether you choose to tell them is up to you but remember that if your parents really love you then thats what will be more important to them. I hope I helped=) And I know this may sound drastic but maybe you could talk to a Councillor about it they might be able to help and I'm sure they've meet guys in your situation before and they might be able to help.

[Dog Desab]

Try being sincere about it or just tell her that your not going to kill yourself that you just want more privacy. i dont think parents think of the idea that their child is suicidal but just imagine if you had a child and they told you that they were going to kill themself or the child already did commit suicide... as a parent you'd be wondering what did i do wrong, why isnt my child happy and stuff like that... just tell her that your not happy cuz you feel as though your not trusted to do things on your own without feeling like your gonna get in trouble for something stupid... i dont know what to say for your situation, im not gay or bi but try to get your parents to understand your need for space... i really hope this helps!!! XD PM me anytime you wanna talk or get out your feelings or something my labtop is always on me to talk

[taylor115]

you should never want to harm youself just bc u arent being accepted when ever you get thee courage to try to tell them or the situation comes up just tell them that u love them and this is your descision

[Shortkid]

Sorry this has you so down. I'm kinda in the same boat too, but Ive definitely decided not to let it out until I'm outta their house. Then they can disown me if they think thats the right thing to do, but at least I won't have to deal with disapproval daily. I know its hard, but try not to let what others think shape your world.

[HellHound]

At 18 you can do what want.wait until then.act natural

[ravel]

I believe you should tell them if they really care about you they should be able to put aside their bullcrap to be understanding. It is apparently got you in quite a predictment and if you showed them the post message you put their explaining your situtation that might actually help them understand how you feel.

Personally I think religion is a bunch of bs I believe their may be a god but I do not believe in the many diffrent ways of believing in the god or if worshipping him threw religion is necassarry. most likely that being gay is a sin bs is some dudes opinion when the bible was being writen and he wanted to get rid of gay people cause he found it repulsive. If you notice in alot of real medieval stories the religious people such as monks and all that werent so religious it was more of a rank thing and religion also played a part in taming knights threw rules they made using religion called chivalry. I think religion is a joke and that she should put it aside to accept you as you are.

I just hope you can get it solved so you can move on and be happier than you are