I've had bloody enough

[MadManWithaBox]

To be frank. This is a rant. I've had enough of trying so hard, of always being alone, of being me. I give up. Its time to throw in the towel. I'm giving up.

[Iron Man]

Don`t give up. If the problem is the people you hang out with (because you never specified), then find new ones.

[MadManWithaBox]

That isn't it. Its life in general.

[Iron Man]

Try to see good in bad. There is always a silver lining.

[MadManWithaBox]

I have done. For 4 years. It isn't working.

[Wtficus]

the only person making your life worse is you

you choose how to look at things

[ExEmoBlood]

the only person making your life worse is you

you choose how to look at things

A fucking "Amen" to that.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Perspective alters life. Change your perspective-- change your life.

The sad thing is: you're so caught up in giving up that you can't even tell us what your problem is. Or do you even have one? Think about that. Get back to us when you have an answer and an explanation.

Best of luck.

[Ryhanna]

I don't know what your problems are Matthew (Can I call you Matt? Thanks), but I know that no matter how hard stuff gets theres always light at the end of the tunnel. The bad stuff is just the to make the light less clear. Your eyes adjust once your out.

[MadManWithaBox]

well my dad used to beat em up, pretty bad. I was bullied for 4 years till i moved to ireland. I went over to see my dad at my mums insturction, and he kicked the shit out of me. He also used to throw my stuff away, not give me food while he'd give it to my other brothers and sisters, and tell me I was worthless and i should kill myself, from when I was 6 till we left when I was 15, and that that I'd never amount to anything ever, cos I was so useless. I've was self harming for 3 years, although I think I'm mostly off now. My mum told me my dad tried to persuade her to have an abortion before I was born. I have a total of one friend. And I've been(and am being) treated for clinical depression. And I've attempted suicide twice. If that counts as a problem.

[ExEmoBlood]

Problem? No, not really. Problems are things that need to be fixed. Now, unless you're still living with your asshole father, there's nothing to fix. Are you still with him?

Now, I'm glad you opened up. And guess what-- you have more than one friend. I'm your friend. And I'm pretty sure that others here would consider you one, as well.

Next, we know your past a little bit more, but what's making you want to give up? You've yet to explain that. And don't say it's because of your past, please. Because that would just be foolish.

[MadManWithaBox]

The sheer fact that even after all that, and more, it never seems to get easier, just harder.

[derkderpderp]

hey,dude idk if its just me but i think people are being a little harsh on you with responses,but they do make good points.
Anyway,have you considered keeping yourself occupied maybe?easier said than done i know,but why not channel your bad feelings into something constructive,because tbh life can and WILL only get harder.
Why not take up a hobby,or a craft,maybe even a sport,or drawing etc?
Anything that makes you feel remotely calm and/or happy,i think you're maybe concentrating on the bad things in your life too much.
Let it out,occupy yourself, and try to move on.just try at least.

[MadManWithaBox]

Not necessarily, just stating their opinion. I'm just a very tired person who's reached the end of their tether.

[ExEmoBlood]

Ah. Nice analogy, MadMan.
Just remember:
"Sometimes you've go to be wrong
Learn the hard way.
Just when you're through hanging on
You're saved."
Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that someone will come along and save you. Sometimes the best hero that someone can have is themself.

And you may be tired. And you may be at the end of your tether. But you can always hang on-- rest untill your energy reserves are replenished, somewhat. Then, you can climb back up that tether.

Trust me, Mad, I know how you feel when you say, "Things aren't getting any easier." Things never do get easier. But don't let that discourage you. Things don't get easier, nor do they get harder. It only seems like it does because your will, over time, weakens. You have to find a goal. Or, like Munky said, a hobby. When you have something that you enjoy, your will is somewhat restored, partialy. It gives you something to look forward to.

Say you're having a rough time with friends, or an ex. You get pissed off. Sad. Enraged. Whatever emotion that builds up from dealing with it. You just think to yourself, "Just wait till later when I can [insert hobby here] and I'll take all the frusteration out then."
Then, when you DO get to do whatever your chosen hobby is, you follow through with your plan. Let it out. Imagine all that bullshit you had to go through on that day (or any day to come) Imagine it all forming in your hands (or feet, mouth/words; depending on your hobby) Once you imagine that, imagine all that bullshit leaving your body through your hands, or whatever you choose to release it from.

[MadManWithaBox]

Well it doesn't get easier. as I can see.

[TigerLily]

Don't give up; you're better than that.
And if you mean you're suicidal.. well, I can promise you that isn't the answer, and the after-effects on family, friends etc. are horrendous - I'm living proof of that (my mother took her life 8 weeks ago tomorrow).
Just please know, things will get better if you give them a chance. Four years is still nothing compared to the 70+ you may easily have left; you can't predict the future. Though I know how you feel, I too have had a really shit childhood/present, and I know how easily it is to feel deflated emotionally and as though your just stuck in a vicious cycle of pain - the first step to beating this, is to realise this isn't true. Sure things might be bad right now, but not forever. This pain is all just temporary, Matthew(:
Your past NEVER dictates your future. The only one who does is you!(:
So please, take care. Life is so precious, so make the most of it<3
If you ever want to talk, feel free to pm me(:
x

[MadManWithaBox]

Well it doesn't feel like the feelings will ever go away. 6 years later, and they haven't.

[TigerLily]

Mhm, ditto. I'm not lying to you, it's hard. But they will alleviate, and you'll learn to better cope with them. But it's so much harder to do either without hope: hope is essential here. Without hope, what is there to live for, really? So just hold your head up high, and know things will get better, kay?(:

[MadManWithaBox]

I'd like to think so. But it doesn't seem so.

[1_21Guns]

what did you spend a good half an hour saying to me last night?
when i was after throwing in the towel and giving up?
death is no way out of anything.
it leaves you more alone than you were before.
it leaves you with nothing.
everything you love on this earth is gone.
everyone you love is hurt.
i've been depressed for a good 7 years. but it has to get better one day.
if it's not better yet, its not the end.
life is hard, a rollercoaster of ups and downs. and its the downs when we feel like we should just give up because the climb back up is both terrifying and at a stupidly high hight from which we could fall from.
but those highs are the highs we live for, and thrive on. without them, there would be nothing.
things get better as long as you don't give up.
you just have to hold on until its better.