I feel so horrible.

[Antonioc]

Someone as horrible as me
Should really go away
As well as all the memories
Created on those days
I don`t deserve to be alive
And who could disagree
After all I`ve done, who`d want to talk
To someone who`s like me

Pain beyond compare,
Everybody stares
Now they treat me unfair

I`d rather that nobody knew
Knowing makes me feel worse
For they like treat me like someone who`s
Afflicted by a curse

Help, it is starting again
I feel the need for the pain
Help, I am getting my blades
And simply cannot restrain
Sadness, anger
And everything else I feel right now
Depression overfills my cup
It takes me over, I don`t know how
I`ll make it through
Nothing I can do can change my fate
Nothing I can do
I`ve lost the will to keep my life
All my will was you.

Although it`s not the best habit
It helps calm down the stress
It`s all I have to keep me sane
Without it, I`m a mess

A friend, I accidentally hit
And so, I treat myself like sh-t
I wish it not, but it is so
You can`t control how life will go

I used to get by on my own
But when you come, I`m glad
Now I`m alone, I cry and moan
I`m so unbelievably sad.



My feeling atm.

is cutting worth it if it helps you feel better?

[1_21Guns]

Hun, first off.
nobody doesn't deserve to live. you were given a life, and are entitled to one.
you probably feel alone, like your the only one who's made the mistakes you have, but your not.
everyone knows cutting makes you feel so much better, but it's not worth it hun, it's never worth it.
to be left with a scar which will last you a lifetime, will make those memories you'd rather forget and move on from last a lifetime. because you'll always have somethign there to remind you.
your not unbelieveably sad. your a human, who's clearly had a tough life and is feeling the back of it through emotions.
you said yourself, you treat youself like shit. but why? what've you done that makes you deserve that? because whatever it is, it doesnt warrant you to inflict pain on yourself.
in turn, it's not going to make you feel better, it's going to make you feel alot worse.
you don't need it, not really. because your stronger than it. better than it.

[Haven]

Hey there. :)

We all deserve to live, no matter what our past actions may say to those around us. In reality, no one is ever going to live a picture perfect life without flaws. Everyone is bound to mess up, make mistakes, and do some things that aren't necessarily going to be the best decisions in the world. Despite what we may do in life, this doesn't mean that because of these actions and issues, that we should disappear or our life should be swept away and removed. You're going to make mistakes. I'm going to make mistakes, and pretty much everyone in the world is going to do something they regret sooner or later. Just because a person does this, does it necessarily mean that they don't deserve a second chance? No, not at all. If everyone that messed up wasn't allowed to mess up, where would the world be now? All in all, there are going to be people which pass through your life that look at what you've done, see it as a mistake, and accept you for who you are today. I don't necessarily know what horrors you're talking about, but what I do know is that a large majority of people are accepting and willing to see past mistakes; if and only if you're able to accept yourself and accept the mistake you made. The world is full of loving, helpful people and no one is going to shun you and place you in the dark forever. It might be hard for someone else to try and help if you don't allow yourself room to breathe from what has happened, but eventually people are going to learn to love you for who you are, rather than what you've done. To be honest, I'd want to talk to you. I don't know you, you don't know me, but I'd still want to talk to you. Despite what has happened. Everyone deserves the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and memories.

"Now they treat me unfair" - Don't allow these people to treat you like this, don't allow their reactions to decide who you are and how you feel. They are not going to be in your life forever, and you will eventually find people who are going to realize that we make mistakes. People who won't stare at you, who won't judge you, and who won't look at you any different then the next person that passes by them. Life is full of questionable actions, and if we beat ourselves up for every mistake that happens, where are we going to go in life? Those who are frowning upon you aren't giving you a chance to better yourself; they aren't giving you a chance to own up to the past, and they aren't allowing you to liberate the pain which is inside you. By any chance, how old are you? Through life we come to a lot of passroads. Roads which take our lives in different directions; for example, college. College allows us to reinvent ourselves. Find new people who we didn't once know, make new relationships, and practically reinvent the life that we once had. If not that, you can try moving out of state. Getting a job which suits you, and just going from there. As I said, people aren't going to be in our lives all the time. We're going to meet a ton of new people down the road, and you should never allow the actions of other people decide the path which you're going to take.

Is cutting worth it if it helps you feel better? My immediate answer is always going to be no, but then that always tends to seem like a selfish answer. Self harm is a solution to an immediate problem in our lives, and immediate relief of the pain around us; however, it isn't a permanent solution. It's temporary and doesn't allow for the pain which causes us to injury ourselves in the first place. I'm not one to preach about how terrible it is, what it does to our bodies, and the whole nine yards; just as long as you realize that there is always going to be another solution. we're faced with so many problems in our lives, and sometimes we tend to drift towards the solutions which we feel more comfortable using. There's always going to be multiple resolutions to the things which afflict our lives and character, and sometimes it's better to take the risk and explore new options for our own personal wellbeing. Cutting calms, relieves, and helps, but all in all the issues are still always going to be there. The effects of cutting are most of the time going to reside on our bodies forever.

You didn't hit your friend on purpose, and you realize that it was a mistake. You've allowed yourself the ability to know that it was a mistake, that you've done something that isn't positive, and that you've hurt the people around you. You've realized that you did something wrong, but eventually you have to move on. You can't allow yourself to sit back in misery forever, and you can't allow yourself to continually hurt over something that happened in the past. The past is full of looming ideas, problems, and all lessons. Take this as one. Realize that you can't beat yourself up for years on end about something that was an accident. You can't control how life will go, but you are capable of controlling the current situation. You are capable of realizing that the more you think of the situation, the more it's going to get worse. You can't control the past, but you can control here and now. Inevitably, the actions you take today are going to effect your future. Now it's only up to you and whether or not you're going to allow the past to control your future, or if you're going to allow yourself to take control of what will happen from here on out.

I wish you all the luck <3

-Wayne