I don't know anymore

[drewlink99]

I really don't.
I can't deal with this much longer, and I am hesitant to post this because of who will see, but I really don't care anymore.

I hate everything about me, and this family.
There is nothing but fighting, I can't concentrate, I can't think.
My parents expect things out of me very suddenly, and they don't realize that yes I am 18, BUT I just had 1 year of good steady peace.
I had no childhood, since I was born, there was drugs and alcohol.
I remember the long nights of staring out the window, waiting till 6 am to go back to sleep, because my parents FINALLY come home from chasing each other from bars and drug houses. from 4 till 17!? And the expect me to be ok?
I'm not.

I can't do this much longer, and they can no longer read me, and I am not going to tell, If I die, I want them to know that THEY did it.
Because that high off of crack felt good for them then, but later, it will cost SOMEBODY their life.

[DrkZ90]

I don't know if you want me to post here what I'm talking with you over IM... so I'll just tell you something I haven't...

Drugs have taken a LOT of lives here... every single time someone does drugs they are financing terrorism here... a landmine that will destroy someone's life by leaving them without arms or legs, or dead... a gas cylinder or bomb that will leave hundreds or thousands of people dead and alone... support the use of kids as human shields...

PLEASE, and I beg this to you first as your friend, and second as someone who has had to live with fear his whole life... Don't let it take YOUR life

[Scarface]

Drew I can relate to your story in so many ways. My parents are alcoholics and drug addicts. I know how the fear feels not knowing if their alive or whether you will have a house over your head. I had to drop out of school midst my 10th grade year in high school and get a job that way I could survive and keep my brother from knowing everything that was going on. I don't trust my parents. They're divorced and they are still active in their addictions. I just take their word with a grain of salt because now I'm doing my own thing now and I learned to worry about e. That is no excuse to kill yourself for your parents misfortune. Have you maybe considered seeing a therapist? You can talk to them and it will make you feel better I know I did. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here. I know what your going through. Don't hesitate to send me a PM.

[ExEmoBlood]

Ah, just turning 18. That's an odd feeling in itself. I know because I went through it myself, recently. But no need to worry. That feeling will pass.

Now, you should try to set aside the problems (for a time, not forever). Focus on DOING those expectations. They'll help you get out of that situation. Believe it or not, they may subconciously know the damage they've done to you throughout your life, and are trying to get you away from them before they worsen the damage done already. Think about that, bro. Do you want to stay there? With them? After your experiences? *I* wouldn't!