Okay. I didn't cut. But that's my least problem.

[1_21Guns]

I didn't cut last night, despite the argument I had with my mother, I found myself with no will to cut.
But now i'll have to show my feet to my grandma on sunday morning because my toes are all horrible and may need medical attention (nothing to do with SH, just birth/growth defect I guess)
The cuts on my feet have scarred.
Worst case scenario - i'll have to show a nurse my feet.
What the hell am I going to do, there's no way they're going to fade in 3 days.
And allowing people to see the fact i've hacked words into my feet isn't exactly a good thing.
Just when I thought I was safe from it, and everything was okay again.
Everythings 20x worse.
Why do I even bother?

[Antonioc]

It is extremely painful to explain, as it brings back many bad memories (making me and possibly you want to cut again :/). I don't know what your parents are like, but maybe once they know that you do/did SI, they'll treat you differently. It seems like all my friends have thought that they're parents are going to do something horrible, but really, what can they do? Are they going to punish you for what you've gone through? Stop you from handling sharp objects? Because if they do, they're not proper parents, and shouldn't really be raising a child. I can understand if you have a fear of therapy, I HATE talking to my counsellor, because although he's a pretty cool guy and all, he's not someone I hang out with like out of school. If you absolutely have to do it, just do it calmly.

Mom:Where did these come from?
You:Oh, I cut myself... I've been doing it for years. What, why do you look so surprised? Your only my mother, you'd thing over the years you would've noticed that your OWN DAUGHTER SIs... but I guess I'm not that important to you. Well, I don't even need to say that, it's kind of obvious that you don't care enough to help me just by looking at my scars.


^Something along those lines may seem rather cruel to her, but if you've really been doing this for a long time and she hasn't noticed, it's kind of the truth. Even if you hide it all effectively, you'd thing she would notice. And that would probably put lots of guilt on her.

I don't think you should say it though, unless you dislike your mom (I just figured you did because you said you argued), in which case, it should work wonder. No mom wants their kid to gets hurt, and her knowing/thinking that she's responsible will make her feel pretty damn bad.

[1_21Guns]

guess so. i remember when i wanted to tell her about my SI, then i lost my nerve.
we don't get along, but i dont really get on well with any of my family.
i'm kinda the oddball outcast in a way.
guess i'll just see what happens.