1_21Guns
May 12th, 2010, 04:06 PM
she's taking my laptop off me.
my primary distraction.
sure, it's only till tuesday for now.
but she's taking it.
yeah i'm the idiot that fell asleep with it on so she knew i went back on it.
but i don't know if i'm strong enough.
i have my iPod i can go on msn with, but that's not enough.
it wasn't enough last time.
last time she did this was when i hacked my feet to pieces.
it's my fault, i deserve it again.
but cutting isn't going to get me my laptop back.
argh i'm so confused.
i know i shouldnt cut, bottom line, i shouldnt cut.
but theres nothing i can do.
tomorrow ill be making a whining post about how i've relapsed again.
and it will be all my fault.
i cant give up, i dont want to give up.
but it's just not that easy when you don't care anymore.
in a way i wish everyone would just leave me,
leave me to just die.
i'm just a walking disaster, everything i touch falls apart.
including myself.
my primary distraction.
sure, it's only till tuesday for now.
but she's taking it.
yeah i'm the idiot that fell asleep with it on so she knew i went back on it.
but i don't know if i'm strong enough.
i have my iPod i can go on msn with, but that's not enough.
it wasn't enough last time.
last time she did this was when i hacked my feet to pieces.
it's my fault, i deserve it again.
but cutting isn't going to get me my laptop back.
argh i'm so confused.
i know i shouldnt cut, bottom line, i shouldnt cut.
but theres nothing i can do.
tomorrow ill be making a whining post about how i've relapsed again.
and it will be all my fault.
i cant give up, i dont want to give up.
but it's just not that easy when you don't care anymore.
in a way i wish everyone would just leave me,
leave me to just die.
i'm just a walking disaster, everything i touch falls apart.
including myself.